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You’re Too Young To Have Regrets… Right?

Shit is about to get real deep and personal. It took me over 4 minutes to get a pancake out of the toaster earlier today which led me to this post. Well, that and an article I stumbled upon about people’s dying regrets. I wanna talk about regret and how I feel, particularly with my age group, that the notion that we must not regret anything has been hammered into our brains since before I can remember. Or maybe it’s just me? I don’t  know. How we ‘must not regret anything because at the time, it was exactly what we wanted’. I’ll give you a tenner if you haven’t heard that quote or seen it on some pretentious Tumblr picture. Well I call bullshit.


I’m 23 years-old – no age at all and I find it borderline offensive (which is saying something because I rarely find anything offensive) when people try and drill into you that, ‘you’re so young, you should have no regrets’ as if dismissing the fact that the strange direction your life has gone is a mere blip – just because you’re young. Now, when I was in school, my dream was to be a fitness instructor. I loved sports and P.E. I did extra P.E, was in the tennis team, did after school trampolining and badminton and went to the gym in my own time. I loved it and that was the plan. To go to sixth form and get an A Level in P.E then head off to university with hopefully the grades I needed to do sports science or whatever the course was you needed to do to get yourself on the path of becoming a fitness instructor.

Unfortunately, my school’s sixth form wasn’t running A Level P.E the year I started – because there wasn’t enough people who wanted to do it. I had two choices: go to another collage that did offer the course I wanted and leave my friends behind (even though the other collage was only 5 minutes away and I would have seen them all the time anyway) or stay with my friends and just choose another course because it was easy and convenient and give up what I really wanted to do.

They say you should never regret anything because at the time, it was exactly what you wanted. And judging by the name of this blog post, you can guess what choice I made.

At the time, it wasn’t what I wanted. What I really wanted was to change colleges, do the course and hopefully go to University and fulfil my dream of becoming a fitness trainer. What I did instead was stay at my sixth form because it was easier, more convenient and all my friends stayed there. I took a course I hated which teachers that didn’t like me and spent every Wednesday and Friday hungover and not paying attention. What did I think was going to happen had I not stayed? That I was going to lose all my friends? Well that happened anyway, a few years after. That I wasn’t going to fit in? I was a young, pretty, fun-loving girl, of course I was going to fit in.

I truly believe that everything we do in life affects what happens to us in the future. I don’t think that had I taken a different path, I would still be in the position I am today. I don’t believe that all roads lead to the same place. I constantly wonder what would have happened had I just had the guts to do what I wanted to do. How it would have affected everything that’s come since. After my bout of the flu in 2011 which triggered my extreme anxiety that I still desperately struggle with to this day – had I been at University, would I have just sucked it up and got on with it? Would that flu just have been what it is – the flu. Not the start of 5 years worth of struggle which has led me to quit jobs, quit college courses, lose friends and lose a whole entire part of myself somewhere too.

Now at 23 and having not fulfilled any dream I’ve had since the age of 5, it pains me beyond belief to think how my life would be right now had I just followed my fucking dream. Life is weird – sometimes wonderful, sometimes not and humans make mistakes, we make the wrong choices, follow the wrong paths and sometimes, sometimes, those wrong paths don’t lead to something better – they don’t lead you to where you were ‘supposed to be’. So never be ashamed to have regrets – whatever your age.



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  5. Sarah Walker says:

    Great post! I am 21 so have had my handful of regrets and “what if…”‘s… I find it weird how at one point of our lives that we believe we’re doing the right thing and for whatever reason, that may change later on.
    Sarah | MoshingZombies

    1. Absolutely and we all have the right to look back and realise we made a bad choice!

  6. There is no age limit on regret. Everyone has regrets about something in their lives throughout all stages of life. You have a chance to course correct at this stage in your life. Listen to those who made their own mistakes and follow from their example. You got this thing called life. Hang in there.

    1. Thank you Tony, what a lovely comment. I love the, ‘you have this thing called life, hang in there’. I feel that could be made into a quote on a cushion or something!

      1. Perhaps it should be on a cushion or on a thing hanging up in a sitting room. BTW you blog like a person who is older than you are.

      2. No seriously, create some prints and sell them! Oh really? That’s nice to hear, thank you (:

  7. I’m putting my hands up not in surrender but more in to say, “Girl, speak the truth!” Sometimes we have to learn life’s lessons by extremes, and age should not be a defining factor in that. In my opinion, I think that anyone who claims they haven’t had any regrets at all hasn’t lived life enough.

    1. Haha thank you very much. I do hope I’ve somehow highlighted a point that doesn’t often get highlighted. I know most people will have regrets and not all to the extreme. But whatever you regret, I feel that everyone is entitled to have them. Regardless of what the media or whoever says! xx

  8. Wow, that’s definitely a massive “what if”. I really hope you find your way back to something you love.
    I ran my own business at 20 and had it for 4 years; I always regret giving it up and although I used to wonder how my life would have been if I’d kept it, so many things that happened after that led me to this point, so I can’t say it was all bad x

    1. Oh wow can I ask what business it was you had? 20 is a very young age to have your own business so that’s very impressive! I guess we could spend our whole lives wondering what if.. And it wouldn’t do any good would it? xx

      1. Thank you so much! I had my own Gothic clothing shop and website 😊 and if I still had it, I wouldn’t have met my current boyfriend or started blogging! Xx

  9. I felt sad for you as I read this post. It is so easy to make the wrong decisions particularly when we are young, and sometimes it takes us forever to get to where we want to go. I think it is wonderful how you have highlighted this, perhaps it will make other young people consider their choices more carefully. It is a difficult to do but is really so important that A level choices/six forms etc are chosen on the basis of doing what you love, rather than on where your friends are going. I have made a lot of wrong moves in my life, and ended up in lots of jobs that I hated, so I do understand where you are coming from. But it is never to late to follow a dream, would you ever reconsider going back to study PE? Otherwise perhaps you will always be wondering ‘What if?’

    1. You’re so right – the decisions we make when we’re young, in school or college or university really are so terribly important. I feel the teachers drill that into you so much but we don’t realise how true it is until years later when you’re in a situation like I’m in myself. I couldn’t go back and study P.E any more as I’m so terribly unfit now I would literally make the worst fitness instructor ever haha and my anxiety would probably prevent me from that. I’ve accepted that that ship has unfortunately sailed but I’m hoping to find my way soon, somehow xx

      1. Sounds like you’re making your way in life, and doing a grand job of your blog, and book tour business. I couldn’t be a fitness instructor either!! Not now and not earlier either – I’ve always been a bit lacking in the fitness department! xx

  10. Ah … 🎵🎵 Regrets, I’ve had a few … but then again, too few to mention.
    I won’t regret deciding to follow your blog.

    1. Haha that’s good to know, that’s for following!

  11. Okay, I’m sat at work reading this and I’m trying really hard to not cry because I feel the exact same way. I completely cocked up when it came to making my A-Level choices, and chose subjects that I thought I should have done instead of the ones I wanted to, and I seriously regret that to this day, even though people tell me I shouldn’t. I’ve done alright for myself since year 13, but I can’t say I’ve been 100% happy with the choices I’ve made. I’m 23 too and only just starting to carve out a life that I’m happy with. And there’s no shame in having regrets, no matter your age, as regrets make us who we are.

    1. Oh no I hope you didn’t end up crying! That definitely wasn’t the idea haha! I’m so pleased to hear you’ve started to carve a life out for yourself that you’re happy with now. That’s a lot more than I can say for myself and were the same age so I very much admire that. I hope everything works out for you and someday you can look back at your regrets and not feel as defeated by them (: xx

      1. Hollie says:

        Only a little sniffle in the end haha! It’ll happen for you as well, it takes time and sometimes the strangest of options can make you the happiest in the end! xx

  12. Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.

    1. Thank you for reblogging!

  13. Unlike you, I feel I am entitled to have regrets, I am 72 after all and seem to be drowning in them. But on closer insection, it is usually the things I didn’t do that have the most regret attached to them. ( and it is almost too late to do anything about them!)

    1. Oh I very much feel entitled to have regrets. I think everyone is entitled to have regrets and it’s a dangerous mentality that we shouldn’t.

      1. We’re all right then!

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