For someone who, when their anxiety was at it’s worst, would crumble at the notion of spending time alone – I very much enjoy it now. Being alone in the house would render me essentially useless and made me feel isolated and unable to cope with doing every day things just in case something was to happen in which I would need assistance. I realise now how incredibly ridiculous this was – I don’t live in the middle of nowhere – I have neighbours either side of me, people to call and things to do and over time, as I began to understand my anxiety more and more, the feeling on isolation and worry of being alone soon turned into contentment and peacefulness.
Suddenly, being alone in the house meant I could do anything I wanted to (oi, I didn’t mean that you dirty bird). It meant I could relax and not hide anything. It meant I could cry if I wanted to without anyone disturbing me. It meant I could wander around and look like a tramp without anyone judging me. It meant I could make up my own rules – even just for a couple of hours whilst people were out – and the only person I had to worry about… Was myself. And my dog.
Over the past few years, this feeling has grown and grown until now where I don’t have a single pang of anxiety when I’m in the house alone. I still struggle slightly when I’m in an environment out of my comfort zone but after getting my thoughts in order and realising that I can trust myself to be with myself, all is well. And that was my main problem a few years ago: I didn’t trust myself to take care of myself. An it was the worst feeling in the world.
I spend a fair bit of time alone but I do love being around people, meeting people, chatting to people but there’s always that moment where I crave a silent room, by myself. I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with enjoying being my yourself. There’s also nothing wrong with hating it. But I wanted to share my own little list of reasons why I think it’s important to spend some time on your own.
- You learn more about what worries you, your fears and anxieties
- You also learn how to cope on your own without relying on someone else
- You will learn to trust yourself – the person who can take the best care of you, is you
- You can do what you need to do: cry, scream, dance, watch 49 hours of Netflix
- You will learn new skills on your own that are important for life – even if it’s just using a tin opener!
- You can spend time doing something you and only you enjoy and put all your energy into it
- You have time to assess yourself and how you can better yourself and your life
- You can work through your issues with no outside influence
- You will notice little things and appreciate them
- You learn that being alone is okay