I’ve seen a few YouTuber’s do this lately (yeah, I know, I’m like totes in YouTuber’s now) and thought it would be a laugh to do myself (but blog format obviously, videos scare me). I used to be an avid Insta user. Like, one of those super annoying ones that would do hundreds of “shout out for shout outs” and be obsessed with followers. You know the kinda dickhead I mean and I love going over my old Instagram photos and crying into a slice of pizza at how much of an idiot I was. So I thought I’d share that with you, so gather up all your pity while I react to my old Instagram photos.
Another leg shot
There is so much wrong with this I don’t know where to start. First of all, leg photos. Leg photos. Why must we feel the need to take so many fucking leg photos. Secondly, I don’t even like blueberry muffins. Like, for reals, chocolate muffins are the only muffins I will eat but even then it’s a long shot because I usually find them too dry – I literally just put it there for the photo. Oh and I think I was trying to look like I don’t eat much for breakfast when I actually went and had a massive bacon sandwich right after this was taken. Look at the tan tho (it’s fake).
And I spend mine taking terrible photos of the sky over a tiny patch of grass whilst waiting for my dog to do a crap.
Does it? DOES IT? It doesn’t with this one 2012 Jenny. And what is with those eyelashes like seriously? I think I had about 3 sets of eyelashes on for this photo which I religiously wore for everything other than school, I could barely see a thing. And those extensions, and those eyebrows
why are they 4 shades darker than my hair
Seriously what I with all these weird ass flat-lays I was trying and failing to do? On my bed sheets? That weren’t even neat? Or straight? And why did I think I was super chic and hip with ‘this afternoon’s read’, like I’d just been out for a day’s shopping in Westfield then a meeting with my Instagram manager and a Starbucks then grab a quick magazine on the way home? I went into the fucking post office. With my mum.
Wanna know a secret? I hated the smell of this. I think it gave me a rash too but I only bought it because every other Instagrammer and their nan had it and I wanted the likes. True story. I think I used it once and threw it away.