Things I would tell my future child

Although I’m 25 (26 this year, oh dear God), I’m in absolutely no rush to have children. It’s in my life plan, I’d absolutely love to have a little one running around some day and it’d also give me a genuine excuse to watch Disney movies all day. Not the good old, “I wasn’t feeling 100% so I decided to take a self care day”. Amiright? With the world in the state it’s in, it genuinely does scare me to think about bringing a new child into it. I know that sounds lame but with so many social, political and environmental problems, what are we setting the adults of the future up for? However, I think our generation are fantastic role-models, advocates and hard-workers. Are we going to send our children into the world un-prepared? Hell fucking no.

* Clearly this elegant, beautiful child in this photo is me, it’s not some random kid

So, for my child of the future, whatever gender you are born or however you want to identify. Whatever you grow up to be or do or feel, this one is for you. Maybe you’ll read it one day; maybe my blog will still be alive and kicking when you’re old enough to read it. Maybe I’ll be a blogging sensation by then, earning thousands and thousands and living in my own Cath Kidston / Laura Ashley haven in Chelsea. Probably not. But regardless, here are some things I would tell my future child.

1. Learn early that illness isn’t always about physical pain. Recognize that you need to take care of your mind just as much as your body.

2. And know that if you’re ever feeling mentally unwell, you can talk to me about it. Without fear. Without judgement. And I will do everything I can and everything I need to do to help.

3. Don’t let any boy or girl ruin your childhood and teenage years.

4. Be kind to people. Unconditionally kind. And remember that just like you go through stuff, other people do as well.

5. You can play with whatever the heck you want, “boys toys” and “girls toys” don’t exist.

6. Sex and your body are not dirty subjects. You can talk to me about anything and I’ll answer you as best I can but all I ask is that you’re safe. Put your safety and well-being first.

7. Don’t let anyone bully you and get away with it. Tell me or tell a teacher and always, always, stand on the higher ground. Stun your enemies with kindness.

8. Read. Just read. I don’t care what you like to read but just pick up a book and show people that reading is cool. Reading and books are knowledge and life.

9. You can do whatever you want to do. Hobbies or a career when you’re older, you’re not limited by your gender or your abilities. I will do everything I can to ensure that you are treated as an equal and you’re able to do what makes you happy.

10. I know it’s probably annoying that you don’t have as much technology as your friends do when you’re younger but you’ll thank me one day.

11. Know your self worth.

12. If you’re in an unhealthy relationship or friendship, something doesn’t sit right with you or you’re not being treated how you think you should be, get out. It’ll hurt at first. It’ll really hurt. But a month of hurt could lead you to a lifetime of happiness.

13. And if you are hurting, I’m here. I’ll always be here fighting your corner.

14. Always wear a seat-belt. Don’t even question it.

15. The number on the scales and the number in your clothes doesn’t mean anything. No matter what the media or advertising tells you otherwise. Trust me on this one.

16. Self-love and self-care are really important. The earlier you can learn and practice this, the better. And yes, you can borrow my Yankee Candles for a relaxing bubble bath if you’re in need of some self-care.

17. Be passionate. Find your interests and embrace them with every ounce of your being. If other kids call you a nerd? So what. There’s nothing insulting about being interested in the world. 

18. If it’s a phase, that’s cool. If it’s not a phase, that’s cool too. 

19. Know that you have something to offer the world. You might not know what it is right now or for a very long time but that’s okay. Your gift will shine eventually.

20. I’ll always be your biggest fan. If nobody else believes in you and even when you don’t believe in yourself, know that you always have and always will have a biggest fan. 

I hope you liked this more personal post from me. If you’ve done any similar posts, please link them below as I’d love to read. Or leave me a comment and tell me some of the things you’d tell your future child or current child (if you have one!)

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82 thoughts on “Things I would tell my future child

  1. Number nine is a big one for me. I drive that home with my niece every opportunity I get. I want her to know, every path is open to her and she can be whoever she chooses to be and do whatever she wants with her life. Nothing is out of reach.

  2. This post took my breath away I love your approach so much and think you have made so many valuable points. I think you’ll be a great parent one day! I wrote a post over Christmas about the ‘boys toys’ and ‘girls toys’ thing, and how limiting this is, you might be interested in that, I’m not sure! Here’s the link: https://alysjournals.wordpress.com/2017/12/20/boys-toys-girls-toys-the-blue-and-pink-divide-blogmas-day-20/
    Anyway, great post, really enjoyed reading it ❤

  3. great blog post, Jenny. I myself am 46 years old and I was unable to have children, Im ok with that, I agree with you 100% that the world we live in now days is very scary, ID almost be afraid of manouvaring raising a child now. Great article and great comments as well following.

  4. Ahh I love and request more personnal posts from you !! 💝​
    I would also like to add; There’s no boy nor girl clothing. wear watever you feel good in. Not what society tell you you should dress as.

  5. Anyone can tell that you’re gonna be an amazing mother when the time comes! These lessons are so important and many of us are taught them later in life rather than childhood. It’s great that they’ll grow up knowing these things!
    Ellie | elliekblog.blogspot.co.uk xx

  6. I haven’t been able to leave a comment all day because every time I read this post you make me cry. In a good way, of course, but I can’t see to type with blurry eyes. Jenny, this is wonderful. Everything you say is exactly what I want for Flora. I think she knows the last point is true already, as well as some of the others, but it’s still so important to state these things. When you do have a child of your own (or more than one) they are going to be so lucky to have the most amazing, articulate, compassionate, gifted, and wise mother who has their back. Until then I only wish you lived closer to me so Flora could have an honorary aunt to be proud of. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this post, it’s stunning. XXX

    Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com

    1. Awh Lisa this is the nicest comment I’ve had all year so far! 🙈🙈 I’ll quite happily be an honorary online aunt for the time being haha. I’m sorry for making you cry anyway, I definitely cried a bit writing it myself! xxx

  7. Wow! Such a powerful heartfelt post Jenny! 💖 I especially love the line: There is nothing insulting about being interested in the world. That’s such a positive way to live and embrace who you really are 😘. I’m sure will become a mega successful blogger with all the Cath Kidson stuff just keep sharing your inspirational posts when you do 😄 xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

  8. Completely love these! Now that I’m a mother all of these are so prominent in my mind, I want him to express himself and not let anyone ruin who he is as a person and not listen to those who try to bring him down. These are fantastic.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

  9. This was the cutest thing I’ve read all day 💗 I’m in no rush to have kids either (I’m 22) but when I do I know I would want him/her to know these things and know they’re accepted and loved regardless of anything 💗

  10. You sound like you would make a really amazing mother, honestly I read through all of these and I’d feel so safe as your child. This was a truly beautiful post and I’d LOVE to read more like this!
    Jas xx

  11. Awww you are going to be such a loving mom… The kind that every child needs while growing up. As the times are changing so fast, and the world becoming scarier, it is always a good idea to prepare a child. But before all that, have a fun life and enjoy 😀

  12. What a beautiful, touching and great post! Really great read and I’m sure you will make an amazing mum one day 🙂

  13. Wow! These are all great things to encourage children! I think you’d be a stellar mom with patience and understanding. I wish my mom told me some of these things. Being unconditionally kind is one of my faves, you really can’t encourage kids to add to the negativity of the world. Just beautiful 💕😊

    xx Lena | https://lenadeexo.com

  14. Amongst many other things I taught my three lads that they are all unique and completely individual, they are not sheep and to not follow the crowd but use their own brain and think for themselves.

    I taught them to not get bothered if someone is talking about them. They are strong enough to ignore others pettiness and whilst people are talking about them they are leaving someone else alone.

    I also taught them something my dad drummed into me and my sisters. No-one is ever above you and no-one is below you. Just because someone has money does not make them better than you and just because someone is poor does not make them beneath you. Treat everyone the same.

  15. Oh wow Jenny, this post just hit me right in the feels! 💕 Everything on your list is just brilliant. I don’t think I’ll have children of my own, but I do have a four year old niece who I would do anything for, I love her with all my heart. I would tell her that she should never be afraid to talk to me – she can tell me anything, and nothing could ever, ever make me stop loving her.

  16. This is one of my favourite posts you’ve ever written, and that’s a big statement! These are all such important and inspiring points and it’s so heartwarming to see what you’re going to teach your kids. They will be so lucky to have a mum like you xxx
    Beth x Adventure & Anxiety

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