Ah…. The Sims. One of life’s literal greatest inventions. I truly mean that – The Sims has provided me with hours and hours and hours and hours and days and probably months of entertainment. It’s given me an escape from real life where everything is pretty mundane to my Sims life where I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and achieve things beyond my wildest expectations (but really I’ll probably just spend 13 hours a day playing chess on the computer to try and get that logic skill up). I’ve been a die-hard Sims fan since the days of Mortimer and Bella Goth and literally not being able to leave your own neighborhood until the ever-so-advanced Sims 4 (which I didn’t actually like, so I play number 3) where your Sim looks more human than you do. I’ve played with all the cheats in the book, had families of Aliens, Zombies and Plant People and experimented with every career in the local newspaper. Honestly, I bloody LOVE The Sims. And if you do too, you’ll probably relate to the following thought process.
1. Let’s make me… That’ll be fun!
2. Okay, what do I look like?
3. Bit wider round here.. Bit longer here… Nose a bit bigger here…
4. Jesus fucking Christ, never mind, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. I can charm another Sim with my Glob Er Dee Floob instead.
5. I’m finally going to play a proper game without cheating. Now where can I live?
6. In this shed?
7. *motherlode, motherlode, motherlode, motherlode*
8. Fuck it, I’ll pretend I won the lottery
9. *builds biggest fucking house you’ve ever seen*
10. *uses 2 rooms maximum*
11. Okay I need a job now, what have I always wanted to do?
12. Astronaut. Definitely astronaut.
13. Day 3 of new job: Promotion! Yay! I’m on the way up. Literally.
14. I feel so productive, I’ve become a chess master, adopted 4 dogs, had 6 promotions and built a hotel all in a matter of…
15. 9 hours?!
16. I need to go to sleep. But not until I’ve learnt how to make a Goopy Carbonara.
17. Ahhhh, Goopy Carbonara perfecto!
18. I miss The Goths
19. Holy fuck, I’m getting burgled! This music never fails to scare me.
20. What the heck, all he took was the toilet?
21. Finally, my promotion to Astronaut! I’ve been waiting all by 11 days for this.
22. Probably time to start a family now *searches for best looking Sim possible*
23. Half an hour later: Good, the wedding went well.
24. I should have slept 3 hours ago.
25. I’ll pick this up in the morning.