This is going to be one of my fairly word-vomitty, un-planned, see where it takes me type posts so if you’re not a fan of those, I won’t be offended (I wouldn’t be a fan either, don’t worry). But I had a conversation a few months ago that really irked me and I wanted to share it with you in case it irks you too – misery loves company and all that! So behold, story time with Jenny in Neverland. Today’s story is called, “A Conversation With my Postman”.
Now, before we get into it, I’m certain that my postman didn’t mean to cause offence or irk me with what he said. He’s a lovely man and I enjoy chatting to him (usually – apart from this occasion) so although he’s absolutely 100% not reading this, nothing again you, okay mate? Okay.
So the postman knocked a little while ago, armed with book mail and some products I was sent to review (yay!) and as always, we got chatting. He mentioned that he’d be gone for a few weeks in the Summer because he was going to be in India, for his son’s wedding. Which got us talking about holidays.
He asked me if I had any planned and I said my boyfriend and I were going away to Shropshire in September and that I was going to Norfolk for a Yoga retreat in November. He laughed and said, “have you ever been abroad?!” I’m sure he didn’t mean it but it sounded quite patronizing.
I said that yes, I have actually. So he asked me where I’d been and I started naming a few places, “Spain, Majorca, Tenerife, Gran Caneria etc. etc.” To which he laughed again and said “well what’s the longest journey you’ve been on?” Meaning, where’s the furthest place away I’ve been. So I said probably Tenerife, which was a 4 hour flight.
Cutting to the chase, he proceeded to tell me about a massive holiday he had in Thailand and all of these super long-haul, hot, exotic places that he’s been to. I managed to end the conversation eventually, shut the door and proceed to get more and more irked about it, the longer I thought about it.
Now again, I’m certain he didn’t mean bad by anything he said. But what really irked (I’ve said irked too much) me the most was the assumption that A) I should be going abroad, B) why aren’t I going abroad? and C) Even when I told him I had been abroad, my abroad wasn’t good enough. No, I haven’t been to Thailand. Fuck off.
I’ve spoke about this so many times, mostly on Twitter about how judgmental people can be with the whole “to travel or not to travel” argument and the realization that not everyone wants to travel and not everyone wants to travel far. I love my UK holidays and I’m not ashamed that I’m not jetting off to exotic places every Summer.
I want to reiterate again and again that there are so many reasons why people don’t travel, don’t want to travel and don’t want to travel far and not a single one of those reasons is your business and your place to judge why or where people travel or don’t travel to.
My holidays mean so much to me and having anxiety, even the smallest trips can sometimes be a huge deal for me. But I do them, I manage it and I am so grateful for being able to go on holiday – even if it is only to other parts of the UK. I’d love to travel abroad but money is tight and the holidays we take just happen to be closer to home. There’s nothing wrong with that.
So I’ll sign off with, please don’t judge people for their choices which have nothing to do with you. Not everyone can travel. Not everyone wants to travel. Not everyone can afford big, luxury holidays. Not everyone can afford small, low-key holidays. We’re all different and benefit from different things and if it’s none of your business, don’t make people feel about about their decisions.
At the end of the day, I don’t care where I am. As long as I’m in good company and make some lovely memories.
What are your thoughts on this post and this conversation I had? I’d love to hear your opinions but please be respectful of others.
Here are some of my previous posts about my UK staycations: