Health & Wellbeing

Show Up For Yourself: 8 Simple Methods

This post contains gifted items

I feel like 2019 has been there year everyone has leveled up with their self care and realised just how important it is to show up for yourself. I’ve been banging on about self care on this blog for a while, from how I’ve improved my own self care over the year, to the basic self care you shouldn’t overlook and everything in-between. It’s a journey, one I’m still very much riding the wave of.

Show Up For Yourself

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

But today I wanted to steer clear of self care, you can find PLENTY of brilliant blog posts about the different ways to practice self care and instead talk about how to show up for yourself. Which focuses less on bubble baths and lighting candles and more on really digging deep and finding out who you are, what you need and how you can show up for your own damn life without regrets.

Don’t get me wrong, I love bubble baths and all your typical self care activities. But after years of practice, I’m pretty clued up on what makes me feel good and what makes me feel like a heap of shit when I need a bit of extra self love and care.

So, how exactly DO you show up for yourself? Is there any special trick or magic potion you need to use? Absolutely not. Showing up for yourself is all about honoring your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs and showing yourself the respect you deserve.

Let’s look at some practical ways you can show up for yourself. You are your #1 priority after all:

Make choices that honor your needs when they arise

I think this is above all else, the most important element of how to show up for yourself. And really, everything else is more or less a byproduct of honoring your needs. Sometimes this might mean cancelling plans because of a bad mental health day. Or eating a healthy dinner because you’ve had takeaway for the last 3 nights in a row.

Your needs fall under four important categories; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual and any one of those can be disrupted when we’re not truly honoring what we need. Of course this isn’t possible 100% of the time but when it is possible, it’s one of the most effective ways to show up for yourself.

Say yes to the opportunities that you want and deserve

Ah, the comfort zone. This is one that I’ve worked on quite a bit this year but also know I need to continue working on. My anxiety had me stuck in a very rigid and quite frankly, boring, comfort zone for a very long time. There’s certainly nothing wrong with a comfort zone. If we’re honoring our emotional needs then perhaps a cup of tea, in bed with your dog and favourite box set is exactly where you need to be.

But I think we can all honestly say, hand on heart, that we’ve sometimes turned down opportunities for a variety of reasons. Whether that’s because another area of our life has taken priority or because you didn’t feel like you deserved the opportunity or didn’t feel like you had the skills for it.

I’ve definitely stepped out of my comfort zone this year in terms of my blog, photography and the opportunities I’ve accepted. I feel like in that way, I’ve really shown up for myself. And I feel all the better for it! For me, one of those things was outfit photos – something I’ve never been comfortable with.

But I was kindly sent this dress, perfect for Autumn, Winter and definitely over the Christmas period which obviously required some photos. I took these myself, with a make-shift tripod and honestly, I don’t hate them! So here I am, with my pale skin and wobbly bits, loving life for stepping out of my comfort zone.

The dress itself is SO comfortable. Like I said, perfect for the upcoming seasons but any time of year really. It could definitely be dressed up or down and I love the off the shoulder design you can have with it too. ANGELEYE sell a lot of really unique and striking pieces, including stand-out Wedding Guest Outfits too!

Manifest your dream life

Manifestation is something I’ve come to love over the last few years, since watching this video from Alyse Parker, one of my favourite YouTuber’s (if you like this post and these sort of topics, then you’ll love her!) Manifestation doesn’t have to be this wishy-washy thing people make it out to be.

All it has to be is your true self, knowing exactly what you want from all areas of life and having the power and faith within yourself to make that happen. Manifestation isn’t wanting a million quid then the next day winning the lottery. You can find tons of information about manifestation on the Apartment Number 4 blog!

Take time for yourself every single day

My favourite way to do this is through Yoga. But let’s face it, you knew that by now! Rolling out that mat is the only time of the day where I feel 100% like everything in that moment is me and my needs. Nothing else matters when I’m in a downward dog or flowing through Yoga poses.

And whether I do a 50 minute high energy practice or a 10 minute meditation, I know that that time is precious. Find your THING and do it every single day, for however long time allows.

Show yourself the same love and compassion you’d show someone else

Damn this is a tough one isn’t it. How many times have we given someone else a compliment then looked in the mirror and ripped ourselves apart? As someone that’s always suffered from pretty severe self esteem issues, I know how hard and impossible this can be at times.

But it’s important that we at least try (more on why we should try in the next point). This could be starting with the smallest thing, like not judging yourself for taking a mental health day when you need one, like how you wouldn’t judge your best friend for doing the same thing.

Honor your achievements; however big or small

By celebrating all your achievements, it shows that you’re honoring the fact that you’re trying. And we can’t ask any more of ourselves than to simply try. So regardless of what anyone else thinks, be proud of that thing you accomplished. Even if it’s simply getting out of bed when all you want to do is lie under the covers.

I wouldn’t wish anxiety on my worst enemy but the main thing having severe generalized anxiety disorder for so long has taught me is to ALWAYS be proud of your achievements. There was a time where going into the corner shop was the scariest thing in the world for me. So you can bet your bottom dollar I celebrated like I’d won an Oscar every time I managed to do that!

Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel

This is similar to the first point about honoring your needs and acting accordingly instead of physical actions, this time we’re looking at emotional actions. We live in a world where there’s always so much to do, all the time. It’s no wonder we bottle up emotions so much – there’s no time to do anything with them!

But that’s where we need to flip the script and regardless of how busy we are, make time to feel what we need to feel. A good example of this is my Mum, who in August, lost her Dad (my Granddad). For weeks, she was so busy with funeral plans, sorting his things, making calls and arrangements, that the sadness didn’t really hit her until long after he’d passed away.

Get comfortable with yourself

And finally, one of the most important points, I think, is getting comfortable with yourself. Accepting and loving your own company is a great way to show up for yourself, I think! And the notion of getting comfortable with yourself really can mean a whole bunch of things.

Take yourself on a date or go on a solo travel adventure – like one of my favourite bloggers, Absolutely Lucy has dedicated years doing. Find a hobby to do on your own. Get comfortable talking about your needs and feelings. Experiment with your body, invest in sex toys, figure out what you love.

At the end of the day, the person you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with, is you. You need to get along with yourself first. Which of these methods have you tried when you want to show up for yourself? Which pointers do you need to work on more? Anything else you’d add to this post? Let’s chat!

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Jenny in Neverland

Twenty-something lifestyle blogger from Essex. Book lover, Slytherin, organisational wizard and enjoys Motorsport, Disney and Yoga.

92 Comments

  1. Lauren says:

    Loved this post. I need to get better at most of these. I’m pretty good at taking time for myself and realising when I need a little bit of self care but really showing up for myself is what I need to work on!

    Lauren | http://www.laurenyloves.co.uk

    1. Thank you – glad this helped!

  2. Loved this post. I love that dress also, it looks so comfortable and you look lovely in it! I’ve been trying to step outside of my comfort zone too recently, even to the things that others may find small.

    Chloe xx
    http://www.chloechats.com

  3. This is such an incredible post, hun! I honestly have zero clue how to focus on myself when I’ve spent so many years helping others. I’m hoping to use some of these tips and therapy to understand that I’m important too!

    Daisy xoxo | TheDeeWhoLived

    1. Hope they help xxx

  4. Such a great post x

  5. You know what, I kinda really needed to read this today. It can be so easy to forget how to take care of yourself, or even to do it.
    That last point though, getting comfortable with yourself? I think it’s absolutely key.
    Cora | http://www.teapartyprincess.co.uk/

    1. It sure is xxx

  6. These tips are amazing and exactly what I needed to read!

    Love, Amie ❤

    The Curvaceous Vegan

    1. Thank you xxx

  7. Boss Babe Chronicles says:

    I love these tips! I’ll be checking out the manifestation YouTube channel you recommended. Also, those are stunning photos, Jenny!

    1. Alyse is amazing, I think you’ll love her!

  8. It is so important that we take care of ourselves however we can. I agree with where our needs fall under. I try my best to go out of my comfort zone as much as I can for growth and knowing what is out there. Self-investment is so important. I love the vibes of this post – a lot to learn from!

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

    1. Thanks so much! xxx

  9. I frickin love this post!! I found it on the BloggersTribe comment thread and I am so glad I did!

    I suck at showing up for myself, so all of your suggestions are super helpful! Thank you.

    1. Hope this helped! xxx

  10. This is one of my favourite posts. 🙂
    .
    I feel you in relation to the comfort zone and trying to push beyond it this year.
    .

    So many great posts Jen. 🙂 x

    1. Thank you so much xxx

  11. I’m a big believer in manifesting the positive!
    Rosie

  12. Some great tips here, particularly about taking time for yourself everyday (as an introvert I need alone time at least for a few minutes each day) and recognising what you’ve already achieved (so important not to be always looking ahead but see how far you’ve come).

    1. Oh same, I NEED some alone time every day otherwise I go spare!

  13. The motivation I needed to pick myself up!
    Also the dress looks so super cute on you!

    1. Thank you! xxx

  14. Take time for yourself everyday is something I try to do everyday. Even if it is a quick yogi session or a little longer in the shower x

    1. Those are two things I love to do too. I love to stick my music on in the shower and just have a little sing along x

  15. This post is full of such great advice Jenny! Taking time for yourself everyday is so important, sometimes a little me time can make all the difference! x

    Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk

    1. Thank you chick!xxx

  16. I love this. It is a great switch on the self-care/self love movement. Both of those are so important but this feels like next level stuff.

    Such an important message, thank you for sharing Jenny.

    You look great by the way x

    1. Thank you – I thought so too. It’s all important though, at the end of the day 🙂 xxx

  17. This post was so inspiring and important. My husband always tells me that I need to love myself more and give myself a break and some respect, but it’s definitely something that I need to continuously work on. I think these tips can be incredibly useful, and they are important things to acknowledge.

    1. It’s difficult if it doesn’t come naturally to you, I totally understand that xxx

  18. aisasami says:

    What a straight-forward yet different post about self-love! I need to keep on manifesting that dream life!

    1. Thanks so much! xx

  19. This is a really inspiring post and I love your tips! It’s so important to take some time out for yourself and to look at your needs above everyone else at times. I recently cancelled plans I’d made just so I could curl up with a boxset and my cat for the evening – didn’t make an excuse, I was just honest and said I needed a chill evening. I regret nothing and I felt so much better than what I would have done if I’d gone out and been miserable the entire time! Think it’s something I need to do more often! Xx

    1. That’s amazing that you cancelled because you just felt like you needed to! We definitely don’t need to keep making excuses for ourselves! Go you! xxx

  20. My self-esteem and confidence are pretty low in all honesty. I try to work on them but it is very hard. I don’t always allow myself to feel in the moment either. I’m the type of person that bottles all that up and then explodes in tears or anger. So that is definitely something I need to work on. 🙂

    Sarah 🌺 || Boxnip || Latest Post

    1. My self esteem and confidence are pretty low too. I think that’s just how I am in nature now. Baby steps at a time. But bottling things up is never good! xxx

  21. I love your dress!! And a wonderful post as usua UIl! I have certainly upped my self-care regime in 2019. Also manifestation is something I have been working on. So thank you for sharing those resources I will certainly check out.

    https://www.ohwellyes.com

    1. Thank you so much! Glad to hear you’re getting into manifestation. Hope it’s wonderful for you xxx

  22. You’re so gorgeous! Great post, very inspiring!

    1. Awh hun, thank you so much!

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