AD – This post on common sex taboos is an advertorial with VIVA
Good news! It’s 2022 and we’re finally eradicating the stigma around perfectly normal things. Oh wait, we’re not. Well, we’re *getting there* but sadly we’re still far from a point of being able to openly and honestly discuss sex and masturbation. Now whilst I’m not suggesting this is a conversation you should strike up with you Nan over a cuppa and a Worthers Originals, it is something that needs addressing.
At the beginning of the year, I wrote this post on 5 Things We Need To Talk About More in 2022. One of those things was sex. And here we are, talking about sex. I’m certainly not implying that my little blog post is going to right all the wrongs of the negative connotations still attached to a plethora of topics, it is a small fish in an otherwise large pond of problems that still need addressing.
But it’s a start. Sex is something I’d like to speak about more. Not just the act itself but the mental aspects of it, relationships, toys and more. I haven’t much, up until now and whilst those reasons are mine and mine alone, I’m glad I’m finally in a place to contribute towards the conversation.
Meet VIVA
Someone else contributing towards the conversation is VIVA. A wonderful, empowering and sex positive brand that focuses on highly effective, high-end toys with a mission to ‘cancel fake orgasms’. They are fully aware of the stigma behind female sexuality and their goal is to help and encourage women to harness the power of their orgasm and embrace their own sexual wellness fully.
I worked with VIVA last year on a post around How To Boost Your Sexual Wellness. I was also sent one of their toys to review for that post – The Senna. So this is a perfect opportunity to catch you up with how I’m getting on with that toy, a year down the line.
Long story short, it’s amazing, hands-down the BEST toy I’ve never had.
And I promise I’m not just saying that. I have another toy which is of a similar nature (clitoral stimulator) and I rarely reach for that one. The Senna is my go-to. I know exactly how it’s going to make me feel and I freaking LOVE it. It does exactly what I need it to do, it’s wonderfully positioned so it hits the exact right spot and I love the various intensity levels as well.
You can check out The Senna here if you fancy but now, onto some common sex taboos that need to be addressed and spoken about more!
Sex without penetration
I’ve come to think about the topic of “what is sex?” a lot over the last year or so because we are SO conditioned to what we’re taught it means that we never stop to consider that actually, it can mean anything we want it to! We’re so led to believe that it’s typically an act that ends in orgasm but it means SO much more than that.
Female sexuality
Especially female self-touch and putting our own sexual needs first. Ever since we’re teenagers, it’s completely normal to consider men masturbating but women? Gosh no. Which is obviously complete rubbish and one of the really common sex taboos that I think is definitely starting to be broken down.
Introducing toys into the bedroom
If VIVA are anything to go by, toys in the bedroom have no place on the common sex taboos list. It shouldn’t be taboo – end of! It’s a wonderful way to spice up your sex life and introduce new sensations into sex. They’re great to use solo and as a couple.
Period sex
Can we stop talking about period sex now? It’s really boring. Whether you do it or not, it’s certainly not a taboo as periods are one of the most natural and normal things that can happen to a human body. It’s a completely personal choice between you and your partner whether you engage in period sex but whatever your choice, that’s fine.
Related read: How To Make Your Periods More Bearable ft. WUKA
Casual sex and one night stands
Although I’m in a long term relationship and haven’t ever had casual sex or a one night stand, I definitely firmly stand by the fact that casual sex – especially for women – needs to be less taboo and more normalized like on the same plain it is for men. As long as you’re practicing safe sex, that’s all that should matter. Well, that and having a great time.
Consensual impact play
As long as everyone involved in this has given consent and is having fun, there’s absolutely no need for it to be taboo. Consent is super sexy anyway and using it in a way that can enhance sexual experiences (if that’s what you want / like / or want to try) then that’s totally cool.
Not having an orgasm through penetration alone
I feel like this is something that should be taught in school over and over again. I for one, didn’t know this until adulthood. I’m certainly plenty of others don’t either. Most women cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone or through penetration at all. It’s normal and not something that should be on a common sex taboos list. But alas, it is.
These only cover the tip of the iceberg in terms of common sex taboos. The list is endless – especially when we consider taboos which aren’t as common as well. With anything sex related, the most important things are consent and doing what you’re comfortable doing. Including talking about it.
So many of us go on about talking about these common sex taboos more and having more honest and open discussions about them but if that’s not something you’re comfortable doing, that’s absolutely fine too. I think we all know in our minds how we feel about discussing sex and sometimes – perhaps for reasons out of your control – we simply can’t.
So what I’m getting at, is no judgment. Either way. These common sex taboos NEED to be eradicated because women and couples all over the world aren’t experiencing the most out of their sex lives because they’re worried about these ridiculous taboos. Sex is natural, normal and a healthy part of life. Let’s start talking about it that way, too.
What common sex taboos do you have to add to this list? What are your thoughts on the ones I mentioned?
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Great post – taboos are very much still alive. Totally agreeing that we need to talk more about the mental parts of sex and how it influences us. Also, I think times are changing when it comes to female masturbation, it is more okay today than before. But yeah it has taken me alot of work to regain ownership of my own sexuality as us women early on are tought us we can be sexy and lustful as long as it is with and for a man – not by and for ourself …
Totally agree! Thanks for commenting x
I love it how people are finally starting to speak more about issues that were thought as taboo. It was nice to read about your review also. Sex is one of the most natural things in this world and something we all do. As you said the only thing that really matters is concent and that you enjoy what you are doing.
Yes absolutely! Sex itself is taboo and like you said, one of the most natural things in the world so it really shouldn’t be!
Great post Jenny! Thank you for sharing your review and amplifying a topic that’s still isn’t being widely talked about enough.
Thank you 🙂
It’s insane that in 2022, sex and the topics surrounding it are seen as taboo! I loved reading this post Jenny! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Thanks Lucy 🙂 x
I don’t even know what I’d consider to be taboo what about you
I’m one of those people who doesn’t like period sex, but I agree that it’s not necessarily something we should stigmatize. And I totally agree that having orgasms with penetration alone is really difficult for most women. Using toys is a great way to help that though.
Yes I don’t have period sex either but I still don’t understand why it’s taboo!
This one is definitely a great topic to discuss, Jen. I’m not sure about UK or USA, but here in Asia, especially in my country, even the discussion of sex in general is still taboo. We are taught about reproductive organs since middle school but that doesn’t teach us how to act properly 🙁 I don’t know how to share about this in my life, even I can’t speak it openly to my mom. Thanks so much for sharing this xxx
UK and USA are much more open to talking about it and I think that’s due to culture and tradition. It’s a shame you can’t discuss these things and don’t get the proper education in school, either.
I remember your previous collab with Viva and how much I enjoyed that post (NGL I just clicked it to remind myself too). This is another really important post, Jenny, particularly the point about not all women being able to have an orgasm through penetration alone, depending on the position in play. Also that sex isn’t always about penetration. Another fabulous, informative and engaging read! xxx
Thanks Lisa! Yes absolutely. It’s so common for women NOT to have orgasm through penetration; I think it’s mostly due to porn and TV/films making it look like it’s something that just happens so easily and naturally which doesn’t help!
I love that more and more people are talking so openly about ‘taboo’ subjects which really shouldnt be taboo at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with discovering your own body and finding out what does and does not work for you x
Absolutely agree 🙂
I think women are a bit more private about everything and it contributes to sex talks too.
See I disagree; I think women are becoming FAR more open to talking and discussing these things now. Men have always talked about sex but not in the same way.
I was already pretty open & discussing sex with my mother pretty freely, but working at a sex shop truly changed everything! I learned so much, and it was so rewarding to help people find something not only meeting their needs but exeeded them!
Another myth is how you’re either vaginal or clitoridian… when all of us is actually the later, as those woman who do get orgasms by inside… is actually still with the clitoris 😅 as it’s a big AF muscle iceberg like- so we’re still hitting on it, but the part from bellow.
Yes I did know that! It’s a really big muscle isn’t it but obviously we only see a small part of it. I bet it’s actually really rewarding helping people with their sex lives and helping them find products that work for them!
Hands down my favorite job! I have so many stories from my year working there; plenty of wierd people (bad neighborhood), and people who overshare tmi stuff 😅 but thanks to them, that’s how I learned! Ahaha
Yes girl! What a bloody fab colab! We definitely need to talk more about these sorts of things. I wish sex without penetration was spoken about more. For me sex isn’t just the P in V situation, it’s the build up to that & NGL I actually prefer the build up! Haha. Yes to all of this!! Amazing post!!
Yes same girl! Sometimes I far prefer the build up and the foreplay and don’t actually need the penetration at all to feel hugely satisfied!
Your totally right, I can’t believe that we’re in 2022 and sex is still a taboo subject *rolls eyes*. We all do it at some point in our lives and it’s something that should be spoken about confidently and openly! These topics you’ve shared, I totally agree with everything you’ve written. Why can’t women have causal sex? It’s ridiculous. I think so many women will relate to this, thank you so much for sharing lovely Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
Yes I agree. I was never one to have casual sex at all but I don’t understand why it’s considered such a taboo thing for women when men do it LITERALLY all the time!