This post is in collaboration with Proxeed
Inevitably, most couples in relationships will end up having the children conversation at some point. Whether you want kids or not, it’s certainly an important topic to discuss so you know you’re on the same page with your partner. If you do decide you want children, then it’s an exciting prospect. But not one that comes without it’s struggles.
1 in 7 couples have infertility problems and trouble conceiving – that’s quite a high percentage. Having a baby isn’t an inevitable guarantee and it’s important to know that right from the start. Some people DO get pregnant as soon as they come off birth control and start trying. Others don’t and for the 1 in 7, there’s more struggle all together.
The longer you’re trying to conceive with no results, the tougher it can be on a relationship and the more strain tends to occur. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions, particularly if you have a lot of friends or family who are having children and getting pregnant seemingly with ease.
There many sensitive matters that may arise when it comes to trying for a baby or infertility, including:
- Sexual stress of trying to conceive
- Disagreements on when it’s appropriate to seek help
- Disagreements on who you should tell (if anyone)
- Tension and resentment within the relationship
- Financial strains from fertility treatments
- Differences of opinion on how to move forward
In this post titled The Art of Trying by Proxeed, there are a lot of great graphics, highlighting some amazing advice on how to communicate with each other when trying to conceive. But here are some tips on how to communicate effectively and get clarity on the situation when trying to conceive with a partner:
Communicate your worries to each other
Keeping things bottled up is never going to help. You need to be able to communicate with each other otherwise the process is going to be harder than it needs to be. Maybe start small with one thing that’s worrying you and build from there.
Try and understand their point of view
It’s likely that both parties are going to be feeling different things during this time and this can definitely be a catalyst for pushing each other away but that’s the last thing you want. When you ARE communicating with each other, try not to interrupt or dismiss them.
Reach out for additional support
This might be confiding in a family member or a friend who has gone through something similar or even talking to a therapist (either alone or together). Talking and sharing always helps and you might gain a lot from an outsiders perspective.
Stay intimate with each other
You were able to enjoy intimacy with each other before you started trying for a baby and it’s important to try and keep that intimacy alive now as well. Trying to take the focus of sex OFF contraception is a great thing to do here.
Make a plan of action together
Communication is always talking about feelings. Creating a plan of action is another great way to communicate and clarify and be open with each other about the ifs ands and buts of the situation and get them down on paper.
Nobody should go through fertility problems alone. It can feel like a very isolating experience but it shouldn’t have to. You certainly shouldn’t feel isolated from your own partner in this situation either.
It can be a rough ride for your physical and mental health but having the support of each other can take some of that strain off. If you’re struggling, take these tips into consideration.