Whilst there might be one big occasion where you realise that your relationship is abusive, there could have been many more little warning signs that happened before that could have alerted you much sooner. Knowing the small signs of abusive relationships could be the key to getting out early before damage is really caused, whether it’s to yourself or someone else you know. Making yourself aware of these things could potentially make a big difference to someone’s life.
These are early signs of abusive relationships that you need to look out for.
The relationship moves really fast
While it can be completely normal for relationships to move quickly if you’re both on the same page, for some people they could feel like they’re being pushed with their feelings by their partner. They could say they love you really quickly, want to move in together, or even propose marriage in such a short space of time.
If you feel at all overwhelmed by the relationships, it’s important that you make your feelings known. And trust your gut, if you don’t feel ready to move forward with the relationships then don’t, no matter how much they might try and pressure you.
Jealousy is a big issue
Whilst at first you might think it’s nice that they’re a little concerned about other men or women looking at you, after a while jealously can take over and become a huge drain on your energy and the relationship.
They’ll start being worried about the people you’re around, constantly call or text you, try to be around you all of the time, and maybe even start accusing you of cheating on them.
And they’ll try to make out like they’re only doing it for you, and because they love you so much.
They start to check up on you
Whether it’s looking at your phone, checking your emails, social media or speaking to other people to check to see you are where you say you are, these are all big warning signs that something isn’t quite right in the relationship. You shouldn’t feel like you have to give them an hour-by-hour account of your day.
They put you down
It’s normal to want to make an effort when you’re seeing your partner, especially in first stages of a relationship. And we might put a little more effort into planning dates or small gestures to make them feel good. But if they’re putting you down, whether it’s how you look, or the things you’re doing, this could be a sign of what’s to come. If you feel pressured into meeting an unattainable standard, or you feel at all degraded, it might be time to assess your relationship.
You feel like there are two sides to them
One side might be sweet and loving, the other side can be nasty, make snide comments or pick away at you. And they’ll make you feel like the bad side of them is only coming out because of your behaviour, and if you make a change they’ll be the loving person you really want.
They try to isolate you
It’s likely they’ll try to isolate you from claiming they don’t like your family or friends, they’ll want to keep you to themselves so they won’t make much effort with the other people in your life so you feel like you can only be with one or the other.
This isolation from your support network can be really detrimental as abuse escalates in any relationship, because it’ll make you feel like you can’t talk to people.
They criticise your spending
They might start to make comments on the money you spend, whether or not you actually spend a lot. Any little indulgence you have, whether it is a new coat or a cup of coffee, they’ll try to make you feel bad about it.
The guilt will start to eat up at you, and it’s likely you’ll feel guilty buying yourself anything at all. In the end, they might to try to take full control of your finances.
Who you can turn to?
If you feel like any of these points above relate to you or someone else that you love, there are plenty of people you can speak to, whether it’s someone you know or not.
If you’re not ready to share what’s happening to you with a family member or friend, you might want to call someone like Refuge or Women’s Aid who can help. For men you can phone Men’s Advice Line and if you’re in a LGBT relationship you can get in contact with Galop UK.
For those who are in an abusive relationship, you could be entitled to compensation, in a scheme that’s run by the government. If you’d like to find out more information about this, you can get in touch with CICA UK (http://www.cica-uk.co.uk/) who can help get your claim started.
* This is a sponsored post