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When I was 13, I was in a “long distance relationship”. Okay. It wasn’t really a relationship. It was with a boy who I “went out with” previously who moved to Cornwall (6 hours from me) and we were star crossed lovers and our 13 year old selves decided to MAKE IT WORK long distance. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
To cut a long story short, I never saw him again, barely spoke to him and accidentally broke up with him by texting his mum, who replied with “okay, I’ll tell him xxx”. Not my finest hour. Since then, I’d only been with people who lived locally to me. And although not all those relationships were… good… the distance was never an issue.
Because let’s get something straight, I am NOT GOOD with long distance. My current partner and I had to deal with short-lived long distance occasionally at the beginning of our relationship and to put it simply… I couldn’t cope. I kinda hate admitting that. I hate admitting that I wasn’t strong enough but I’m nothing if not honest.
My partner’s family lives around 3 hours from me. So when we first got together, it was a lot of backwards and forwards. He would then have to go back on his own for extended periods for work, sometimes 3 weeks at a time, which I found really difficult. I was just so damn in love I didn’t want spend a second away from him.
That’s not the case now but I’m glad I’ve had that experience so I know that, if anything were to happen to us in the future, a long distance relationship would not be an option for me. If you’re currently dating or thinking about dating and wondering the same thing, here’s some reasons why dating locally might be a better option:
It *can be* cheaper
Dating locally can definitely be cheaper than long distance. Obviously you’re saving a lot of money on travel, whether that’s fuel to drive to them or trains to take to them. So if you’re both a little strapped for cash, the fact that you’re already close to each other means that you can try some super cheap or free activities to do together:
- A picnic over the park
- A walk around a local nature park
- A movie night in
- Look for free events in your area
- Discounts for local attractions
Narrow it down with local dating sites
If you’re already using dating sites, you’re probably already overwhelmed with them. The different sites themselves, what they offer and the sheer amount of people on them. By narrowing it down and using more specific location based dating sites, which as Love Isle of Wight Singles, if you’re looking for an Isle of Wight dating site or Love Bedfordshire Singles if you’re looking for Bedfordshire dating sites might be a better option!
You can find more local gems
If you’re dating locally, it’ll give both you and your date to find and discover local gems that you might not have found before! Some restaurants you’re both yet to try or walking paths you haven’t discovered yet. I’ve lived in the same area all my life yet now and again, I still notice something I’ve never seen before!
Long distance isn’t for everyone
As was the case with me, long distance isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay. And if that’s you, then dating locally is definitely a better option. Long distance can be very emotionally draining. We’re just NOT all cut out for it. As for me, I found myself unable to really focus on anything because I was constantly worrying about my boyfriend.
I’m quite a worrier as it is and with an added anxiety disorder on top of that, it didn’t make the best cocktail for a long distance relationship. I was always worried about whether he was safe, if he was okay, if he was happy that day. And it made it worse knowing that being so far away, there was nothing I could do about it if he wasn’t.
It annoyed me that I couldn’t cope without him here. And that was yet another layer which added onto my distress: Feeling weak for not being able to function on my own. But that’s a whole other post for a whole other day. But with that being said, long distance isn’t for everyone.
Have you ever done long distance? How do you find it? Or do you prefer to date locally?
* This is a sponsored post. All thoughts and opinions are my own.