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Why Dating Locally Might Be A Better Option For You

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When I was 13, I was in a “long distance relationship”. Okay. It wasn’t really a relationship. It was with a boy who I “went out with” previously who moved to Cornwall (6 hours from me) and we were star crossed lovers and our 13 year old selves decided to MAKE IT WORK long distance. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Man wearing a black jumper and woman wearing dungarees and a hat standing by a railing looking out over the sea

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

To cut a long story short, I never saw him again, barely spoke to him and accidentally broke up with him by texting his mum, who replied with “okay, I’ll tell him xxx”. Not my finest hour. Since then, I’d only been with people who lived locally to me. And although not all those relationships were… good… the distance was never an issue.

Because let’s get something straight, I am NOT GOOD with long distance. My current partner and I had to deal with short-lived long distance occasionally at the beginning of our relationship and to put it simply… I couldn’t cope. I kinda hate admitting that. I hate admitting that I wasn’t strong enough but I’m nothing if not honest.

My partner’s family lives around 3 hours from me. So when we first got together, it was a lot of backwards and forwards. He would then have to go back on his own for extended periods for work, sometimes 3 weeks at a time, which I found really difficult. I was just so damn in love I didn’t want spend a second away from him.

That’s not the case now but I’m glad I’ve had that experience so I know that, if anything were to happen to us in the future, a long distance relationship would not be an option for me. If you’re currently dating or thinking about dating and wondering the same thing, here’s some reasons why dating locally might be a better option:

It *can be* cheaper

Dating locally can definitely be cheaper than long distance. Obviously you’re saving a lot of money on travel, whether that’s fuel to drive to them or trains to take to them. So if you’re both a little strapped for cash, the fact that you’re already close to each other means that you can try some super cheap or free activities to do together:

  • A picnic over the park
  • A walk around a local nature park
  • A movie night in
  • Look for free events in your area
  • Discounts for local attractions

Narrow it down with local dating sites

If you’re already using dating sites, you’re probably already overwhelmed with them. The different sites themselves, what they offer and the sheer amount of people on them. By narrowing it down and using more specific location based dating sites, which as Love Isle of Wight Singles, if you’re looking for an Isle of Wight dating site or Love Bedfordshire Singles if you’re looking for Bedfordshire dating sites might be a better option!

You can find more local gems

If you’re dating locally, it’ll give both you and your date to find and discover local gems that you might not have found before! Some restaurants you’re both yet to try or walking paths you haven’t discovered yet. I’ve lived in the same area all my life yet now and again, I still notice something I’ve never seen before!

Long distance isn’t for everyone

As was the case with me, long distance isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay. And if that’s you, then dating locally is definitely a better option. Long distance can be very emotionally draining. We’re just NOT all cut out for it. As for me, I found myself unable to really focus on anything because I was constantly worrying about my boyfriend.

I’m quite a worrier as it is and with an added anxiety disorder on top of that, it didn’t make the best cocktail for a long distance relationship. I was always worried about whether he was safe, if he was okay, if he was happy that day. And it made it worse knowing that being so far away, there was nothing I could do about it if he wasn’t.

It annoyed me that I couldn’t cope without him here. And that was yet another layer which added onto my distress: Feeling weak for not being able to function on my own. But that’s a whole other post for a whole other day. But with that being said, long distance isn’t for everyone.

Have you ever done long distance? How do you find it? Or do you prefer to date locally?

* This is a sponsored post. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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Jenny in Neverland

Twenty-something lifestyle blogger from Essex. Book lover, Slytherin, organisational wizard and enjoys Motorsport, Disney and Yoga.

35 Comments

  1. I work in online dating so I see the benefits of local and far flung romance!
    Rosie

  2. My last long term relationship was long distance and I actually kinda liked it that way. I’m the kind of person that enjoys a lot of alone time it takes some of the pressure off in that sense and when there’s distance, you’re always looking forward to seeing the person when you do see them and appreciate time together more. Obviously it sucks in other ways but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world x

    Sophie

    1. Oh wow that’s cool that long distance worked for you. I wish I was that chilled!

  3. I really want to find someone local to me but it never seems to work out! Every time I go away I meet someone amazing but we are never together long enough and long distance never works! Oh the constant woes of dating…

  4. I’ve never been in a long distance relationship so I’m not sure how well I would manage to make it work. I’ve always thought it wouldn’t be an issue because then I would have an excuse to travel more, but it could definitely get tiring after a while!

    1. Yeah I suppose travelling more is a positive of long distance!

  5. katy gilroy says:

    I could never do long distance it would kill me I’m too needy haha x

    1. Girl same 😂

  6. As a married woman I can’t say I’ll be dating soon but this would be so helpful for friends who are x

  7. I cant say I ever truly did long distance. My first boyfriend often had to go to Mayo Clinic for treatments so that was tough because I couldn’t go with them. He had cancer so that made things hard enough. I wouldn’t trade our relationship for a second, even if he’s not ere anymore. Anyway I’ve always dated people locally. The closest I came to dating long distance was my ex who lived about an hour away so that kind of counts. My current boyfriend and I met in college so we’ve only ever been about half and hour away from each other.

    Right now we live a couple blocks away from each other and we’re hoping to move in together soon. By soon I mean like a year or two. The too long didn’t read version of that is I could do long distance if i had to, but I don’t like to do it so I try to date locally.

  8. Like you, I had a “relationship” with another teen across the country – it didn’t work out well and he broke up with me on my voicemail – which my mother heard first!

    That being said, my husband and I were apart for a year due to his deployment, which doesn’t technically count but that shit was hard.

    1. Oh that definitely counts. I couldn’t imagine doing that!

  9. In 2016 my partner had to take a job working away from home in Newcastle over in Texas. He was there for the entire year and we only saw each other 4 times in 2016. It was hard going but only temporary.

    https://littlemissmelanie.com/

    1. Crikey! I bet that was so hard x

  10. I’m glad when Nick and ao met we only lived about half an hour away from each other x

  11. Long distance is tough! Me and my husband lived about 4 hours apart for a while, then 2 hours apart before we moved in together. I don’t know how people do it across countries!

    1. Wow that’s hard – I don’t know how people do it either!

  12. I can’t do long distance, it just doesn’t work for me. I’m team local dating all the way.

    1. Yay! Me too!

  13. womaves says:

    I actually have a strong passion for long-distance relationships with rare encounters and lots of daily messages. I know that this is not an ideal option for a really strong relationship, but at this stage of my life, in this way I feel more secure and comfortable.
    Although, walks in the park are not enough, of course)
    Thanks for the brilliant article!

    1. Whatever works for you!

  14. I have had a longer distance relationship where there was around an hour and a half drive to see each other and it was so hard! It was exhausting just having to drive to see each other. I met my current partner at work, we now live together but stayed around 10 min drive from each other and it was so much better! I didn’t need to spend a lot of money on petrol or eating out we could pop round to each others house and spend the evening catching up on a box set.

    1. Ah glad you found a relationship that works for you!

  15. My partner and I currently live a few hours away from each other – most weekends he pops up to visit but that’s not always the case since he’s a grad student.

    I’m very much an introvert so I don’t mind spending lots of time alone. It’s working for me so far. I’m just concerned about a potential lack of privacy if we ever move in together. =/

    1. That’d definitely be a bit of a change if you ever did. But you can always set boundaries with each other – have certain areas which are yours and give yourself alone time!

  16. Not sure I’d date anyone from my local area. They’re pretty loud and out there so, unless there was someone a bit more my type, I’d avoid! Long distance doesn’t sound my thing either! xD

    1. I bet there is!

  17. Paul and I were in a long distance relationship for a while and honestly it was so tough!

    Love, Amie ❤
    The Curvaceous Vegan

    1. I bet it was!

  18. Long distance relationships can be so challenging. The hardest part I’ve found, in the past, as not being able to see your loved one as often as you would like. While short lived, my husband and I had to navigate the long distance thing for a while due to work-related reasons, and I hated only talking to him by chat/call/video. I was the lucky one, I had our pets with me… he had to get through it all without any of our pack. I’m SO happy that we’re able to be together again now.

    1. Awh no! That sounds so hard. Lucky you had your pets!

  19. I think long distance would be so difficult! x

  20. I did long distance when both and boyfriend at the time and I moved back the UK and it was hell. Met Arran in a bar in Southampton and never looked back xx

  21. I definitely don’t think I’d be able to do long distance! In the past when George and I just used to have days apart because of college, uni etc I hated it! It’s great that some people do seem to make it work though xx

    Tiffany x http://www.foodandotherloves.co.uk

  22. Long distance really isn’t for everyone and that’s okay.

    Personally I’m in a long distance relationship and for us the important part is talking every day. We have an app that lets us chat, call and send messages, videos and letters to each other and it helps. In fact I think we talk more than most married couples 😋

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