I’m about to drop some serious truth bombs on you about goals and goal setting today, so I hope you’re ready. Grab a warm comforting drink, a cozy blanket (or maybe not, it’s the middle of Summer) and a fluffy pet. Things are about to get real. I may be going slightly over the top here, we’ll see.
I am a very goal oriented person. I set myself goals at the beginning of every single month and feel utterly lost if I don’t. There’s only be a handful of occasions over the last few years where I haven’t set myself monthly goals and it’s likely all of those were due to bad mental health and just generally not having the capacity to try and achieve them.
But when I’m in a fairly normal state of mind, then you can rest assured that there will be goals noted down on my phone, in my journal, on the back of my hand – wherever. I feel a real sense of satisfaction and achievement of setting myself goals, working on them and eventually ticking them off.
But…
Because there’s always a but, right?
This strict dialogue we have with ourselves (which ultimately spills out to other people online) about goals needs to stop. It’s damaging for us, it’s damaging for others and quite frankly, it’s bullsh*t. And soon I’m going to tell you why.
I think this all predominantly started at the start of the pandemic, when we had an influx of people saying how it’s the perfect time to achieve your goals and start a business and build an online empire. When really, most of us were just trying to get through another day without breaking down at BBC News at 6.
Hustle culture has a huge part to play in all of this. You have to be working on your goals 24/7. Always have to be striving to achieve more. Always need to be looking ahead at the next milestone. Never taking a moment to just… be.
And because of that, I think a lot of us – at least I know I’ve experienced a lot of these in the past – have some weird ass misconceptions about goals. Our own goals. That we have set for ourselves.
Here are 9 truth bombs about goal setting that you NEED to hear today:
You created them, you can change them
Guess what? You can change them. Imagine that. I think a lot of us think that once they’re written down, then that’s it. Nothing can be done. But a lot of us also forget that our goals are OURS. Nobody else’s. We can literally do whatever the f*** we want with them.
They’re nobodies business but yours
Just because lots of other people share their goals online, doesn’t mean you have to. I see a lot of bloggers share their monthly goals on Twitter and that’s great for them but remember you don’t need to feel pressured into telling ANYONE what your goals are.
It’s okay if your priorities change
It’s the start of the month and you’ve set yourself a goal to run 5k. But then 4 days into the month, your break your leg. It’s safe to say that goal is going out of the window for that month, right? Because your priority is healing your leg. The same can be applied to literally anything.
Try not to compare your goals to others
This is something that can happen when a lot of people are sharing their goals online; we end up comparing ourselves. As ALWAYS. Their particular goal has absolutely no impact on yours.
Timeframes are not set in stone
This is one I would struggle with a lot like, if I didn’t achieve that goal by the end of the month then I’m a failure. Say what? Who stuck those timeframes there in the first place? You did. They mean nothing. They’re a good reference point – that’s all they should be.
Nothing bad is going to happen
And if you don’t hit that goal before the end of the month or before that timeframe you set for yourself? Nothing is going to happen. Literally nothing. Other than you feeling bad about yourself, which you absolutely shouldn’t because time is an illusion anyway.
Make sure you’re having fun doing them
I mean, if you’re tirelessly working through your goals and they’re making you miserable, I really think you need to take a step back and re-evaluate. Especially if they’re blogging relate or something like that. Your goals should be something you love and are passionate about, not something that makes you want to cry into your dinner.
Will the outcome make you happy?
Think about whether the outcome of this goal will make you happy. If not, what’s the point? It’s a simple question to ask but holds a lot of power in it. Yes, some goals will be more fun than others but ultimately you need to feel passionate for all of them.
There’s more to life than goals
And finally, harking back to what I said about the pandemic hustlers, there’s more to life than goals. Like, sometimes, pandemics happen. And you don’t want to work on goals, you just want to practice self care and eat chocolate and watch Netflix and that’s absolutely fine.
I’d love to hear which one of the goal setting truth bombs hit hardest for you! Let me know in the comments!
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