As years go, 2018 hasn’t been too bad so far. I personally don’t feel like it’s gone as quick as the beginning of 2017 felt (like honestly, were there 12 days in 2017 or something?) but similarly, it’s not dragging. Despite the fact that apparently January felt like it went on forever (I genuinely didn’t feel like it did and I’m starting to wonder whether some were just jumping on the ’78th of January’ bandwagon by the end of it but hey ho!). 3 months into the year and it’s already had it’s ups and downs. In 3 short months, I feel like I’ve learnt quite a bit already so I think this is a good place to stick my metaphorical book mark and reflect over the year so far.
Just slow the f down
We’re always so scared of missing opportunities and life “passing us by” but really, all this incessant rushing around is making us miss the more important things in life anyway. At least, that’s how I feel. Over the past year or so, I’ve grown into more and more of an over-achiever. I’ve addressed this a few times on my blog and on Twitter that I’m finding it more and more of a problem that I don’t allow myself any time to relax because if I’m not doing something productive, then I must be wasting my time. And I know this isn’t healthy.
My boyfriend’s family live in the countryside in Lincolnshire and every time we visit for the week, I always find the days go super duper slow. It’ll be 2 in the afternoon but feel like 6. And it’s nice. It’s because compared to my life outside of London where everyone around me; family and strangers are always in a rush, doing something or going somewhere, this just isn’t the case in the country. I want to try and take this mindset into the rest of the year with me. I don’t have to write 400 blog posts a day in order to be productive and I certainly need to focus on one thing at a time and just slowwwwww down. I’m 25, not 95 after all.
Sometimes, things just don’t go to plan
You can be planning, planning, planning and especially if you’re someone like me (a control freak – to put it bluntly) you’ll like things to be planned. But sometimes, those plans don’t manifest. Sometimes, things don’t work out. Sometimes there’s things out of your control which prevent you from doing something. And that’s life and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. So I’m trying to learn to roll with the tide with this one. Let it annoy me for a minute or two and move on.
You’ve also got to learn to embrace outside change as well. The people you know, their lives aren’t going to be the same forever. A couple you knew who seemed happy might split up, people’s health changes and circumstances are constantly evolving. Again, that’s life. You can’t stop it, sometimes, you’ve just got to roll with the tide.
Embrace the little things
Since being on social media, I’ve become more and more aware of the fact that my life isn’t like some other people’s lives. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to treat myself to things all the time. I can’t afford to book multiple trips away a year. My life doesn’t revolve around fancy dinners and luxurious holidays. If it does for you, then that’s great. But for me, that’s just not the case. So I could sit around and mope all day, every day about the things my life doesn’t have or I can choose to at least try and embrace the little things and enjoy what I have.
And learning to do more of what you love is an important thing when you feel like this. When you’re totally content, eating your favorite takeaway with someone you love and watching a great film or TV show, it doesn’t really matter whether you’re in your bedroom in Essex or the Bahamas.
Allow yourself to feel
I tried something earlier this year. I had a really rubbish morning; I woke up feeling ill and dizzy, I felt like I was on a boat, I was super emotional and in one of those weird ass moods where you remember all the things you’ve done which haven’t been entirely nice and end up feeling bad for something that happened 3 years ago. Then I spilt tea on my bed. Then my internet connection went. So I just allowed myself to cry, for about half an hour. I didn’t hold it in like I normally do, I didn’t try and power on through my work. I just cried. And then after that, I didn’t cry for the rest of the day.
I had another moment in February where I was having a bit of a self esteem moment (which I’ve spoken about here) and again, I finally allowed myself to cry. I cried in front of my boyfriend about it for a good hour. We had a cuddle and I cried and allowed myself to feel. To really, really, feel. And it did the world of good. No more holding in your emotions in 2018!