Things I’ve learnt this year so far: Quarterly reflections

As years go, 2018 hasn’t been too bad so far. I personally don’t feel like it’s gone as quick as the beginning of 2017 felt (like honestly, were there 12 days in 2017 or something?) but similarly, it’s not dragging. Despite the fact that apparently January felt like it went on forever (I genuinely didn’t feel like it did and I’m starting to wonder whether some were just jumping on the ’78th of January’ bandwagon by the end of it but hey ho!). 3 months into the year and it’s already had it’s ups and downs. In 3 short months, I feel like I’ve learnt quite a bit already so I think this is a good place to stick my metaphorical book mark and reflect over the year so far.

Just slow the f down

We’re always so scared of missing opportunities and life “passing us by” but really, all this incessant rushing around is making us miss the more important things in life anyway. At least, that’s how I feel. Over the past year or so, I’ve grown into more and more of an over-achiever. I’ve addressed this a few times on my blog and on Twitter that I’m finding it more and more of a problem that I don’t allow myself any time to relax because if I’m not doing something productive, then I must be wasting my time. And I know this isn’t healthy.

My boyfriend’s family live in the countryside in Lincolnshire and every time we visit for the week, I always find the days go super duper slow. It’ll be 2 in the afternoon but feel like 6. And it’s nice. It’s because compared to my life outside of London where everyone around me; family and strangers are always in a rush, doing something or going somewhere, this just isn’t the case in the country. I want to try and take this mindset into the rest of the year with me. I don’t have to write 400 blog posts a day in order to be productive and I certainly need to focus on one thing at a time and just slowwwwww down. I’m 25, not 95 after all.

Sometimes, things just don’t go to plan

You can be planning, planning, planning and especially if you’re someone like me (a control freak – to put it bluntly) you’ll like things to be planned. But sometimes, those plans don’t manifest. Sometimes, things don’t work out. Sometimes there’s things out of your control which prevent you from doing something. And that’s life and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. So I’m trying to learn to roll with the tide with this one. Let it annoy me for a minute or two and move on.

You’ve also got to learn to embrace outside change as well. The people you know, their lives aren’t going to be the same forever. A couple you knew who seemed happy might split up, people’s health changes and circumstances are constantly evolving. Again, that’s life. You can’t stop it, sometimes, you’ve just got to roll with the tide.

Embrace the little things

Since being on social media, I’ve become more and more aware of the fact that my life isn’t like some other people’s lives. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to treat myself to things all the time. I can’t afford to book multiple trips away a year. My life doesn’t revolve around fancy dinners and luxurious holidays. If it does for you, then that’s great. But for me, that’s just not the case. So I could sit around and mope all day, every day about the things my life doesn’t have or I can choose to at least try and embrace the little things and enjoy what I have.

And learning to do more of what you love is an important thing when you feel like this. When you’re totally content, eating your favorite takeaway with someone you love and watching a great film or TV show, it doesn’t really matter whether you’re in your bedroom in Essex or the Bahamas.

Allow yourself to feel

I tried something earlier this year. I had a really rubbish morning; I woke up feeling ill and dizzy, I felt like I was on a boat, I was super emotional and in one of those weird ass moods where you remember all the things you’ve done which haven’t been entirely nice and end up feeling bad for something that happened 3 years ago. Then I spilt tea on my bed. Then my internet connection went. So I just allowed myself to cry, for about half an hour. I didn’t hold it in like I normally do, I didn’t try and power on through my work. I just cried. And then after that, I didn’t cry for the rest of the day.

I had another moment in February where I was having a bit of a self esteem moment (which I’ve spoken about here) and again, I finally allowed myself to cry. I cried in front of my boyfriend about it for a good hour. We had a cuddle and I cried and allowed myself to feel. To really, really, feel. And it did the world of good. No more holding in your emotions in 2018!

Here’s to rolling with the tide. I hope your 2018 has been good to you so far and you’re looking forward to the rest of the year. Let me know in the comments how you’re finding it!

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85 thoughts on “Things I’ve learnt this year so far: Quarterly reflections

  1. I still find it extremely difficult when things don’t go as planned, I get so frustrated and then it all links to my negative thoughts which then puts me in such a mood! I’m trying really hard this year to just let it go but sometimes it’s so hard.

  2. I’m trying a lot to work on coping when things don’t go to plan. I am a perfectionist and can’t cope if things don’t work out and I make a mistake. Which is not helped by the fact that, like you, I do too many things at once and this leads to mistakes. I also need to appreciate the little things in life. I feel myself getting frustrated lately because I don’t own a house or I haven’t booked my wedding yet.

    • I feel you completely. I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be at 25 but I keep reminding myself that life isn’t a race and it doesn’t really matter if I don’t have a house, aren’t married or having kids any time soon. I think the sooner we know that comparing ourselves to others won’t benefit us in any way, the better! xxx

  3. I really think it’s so hard to grasp the fact that things don’t always go according to plan 😭 sometimes I find myself reassuring myself that everything will be fine even if it doesn’t. Great post, I love this idea of checking in with yourself.

  4. I liked what you said about enjoying the little things. I try to do that as often as possible. Like the sound of my favorite loafers on the sidewalk, a good song coming on the radio, that awesome petrichor smell. Thanks for being so positive!

  5. I definitely think I’m a little bit of a control freak as well – I love to plan and I hate when things change in a way that I don’t like, but my year so far has definitely not gone to plan. I won’t let it ruin the rest of the year for me though – I hope that the rest of yours is as fabulous as you are! 🖤

  6. Love your positivity Jenny! 💖 Appreciating the little things is such a good way to live life. I always feel happy listening to my fave songs, going for a walk or just having a cup of tea and relaxing ☺️. It sounds like you have learned so much from the year so far, this is a really lovely post 😘 xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

  7. so many things don’t go according to plan but that’s more about how you react really. love the positivity here! Especially as someone who saw everything in their life go south and then back up again! Enjoying the little things as much as i can! xx corinne

    • Oh I totally agree! If something doesn’t go your way, you can moan and moan until you’re blue in the face or just accept that it’s annoying and move on. Our reactions to things really do play such a huge part in our happiness x

  8. Number 1 is the biggest thing I’ve learnt so far this year! I’m constantly thinking of “the next thing” or waiting for weeks to pass when really they’ll be flying by before I know it and time goes too fast xx
    Morgan

  9. “No more holding in your emotions in 2018!” THIS.

    Funny thing is, I had a feeling that 2018 is going to be an emotional year for me. I don’t know why, but I just had that feeling early this year. Knowing that, I’ve sort of prepared myself so when the time comes, I’d just let myself go and like you said, feel. It calms me knowing that I’ve finally acknowledged myself.

    Great post and reminders, hun. xx Ain

  10. Slowing down is defo one I need to embrace a bit more! My life is rushing around a million miles an hour and I need some time sometimes to just do nothing and take it all in! Lovely post I love reflection posts!

  11. Ooh I hate it when things don’t go to plan, I’m a huge control freak! I totally agree about letting yourself just feel and cry if you need to, I was so stressed out a few weeks ago, I opened the washing machine and burst into tears! I then cried and ranted to my fiance for an hour and felt a lot better after it! Great post!

  12. Allowing yourself to feel was the most interesting to me! I should try it more often instead of holding in my feelings! I’ll feel so good after.

  13. What a wonderful post! I think it’s so important to look back on the year so far and see how we’ve grown, what we’ve learnt. It’s surprising how much can happen just in a quarter of a year.

  14. This is a lovely post. It’s crazy to think we are almost in April already! Time seems to go by so fast now. Although January did actually seem to go super slow for me! I love the days when you look at the time thinking it’s so much later then it actually is. I definitely feel like I could appreciate the little things more often! I’ve been trying to do that more often and allow myself to just have days or a few hours to just relax and not stress about things.

    Amy,
    https://creativenails.uk

  15. It’s honestly such a brave thing to learn to just let your emotions out – I totally get you! Most of the time I keep everything in and then bam – I’ll have a morning like yours where I just feel crap and then I’ll keep going and end up feeling ten times worse! It’s so important to have that emotional outlet when you need it. I also love what you put about embracing the little things – I’ve started to focus in the stress of the day about getting home, having a hot chocolate, and reading my book and it really helps. Despite your ups and downs you’re doing amazingly, Jenny! I love posts like this, I’m sure the next quarter is going to go fabulously for you.
    Kate x
    http://www.findingkate.co

  16. I think that this was such a great post. I feel like 2018 has been a good year so far. There have been the usual ups and downs, but I’m really in a better place than I was at the start of the year. It’s always surprising how much a good cry can change things – holding your emotions in is really difficult, so it is good being able to let go and let your emotions control you for a bit. Sometimes I get really annoyed when things don’t go to plan, and feel really frustrated.

  17. I think it’s so important to remind ourselves that it is OK when things don’t go according to plan, it is OK to cry and to also stop comparing. Which is something I do and I need to stop! x x x

  18. Love how you’re doing quarterly reflections! Glad you learned some lessons to be a better person! YES! You don’t have to write 400091348109 blog posts a day to be productive. I found my balance with once a week and everyone is different :). I can totally relate to you about things not going according to plan! I mean that’s where you have to be a bit flexible – but not the end of the world!

    exquisitely.me

  19. Completely agree with everything in this post, especially the slowing down part! I’m so bad for not switching off and working 24/7- something I’m really trying to work on this year!xx

    Jade | jademarie.co.uk

  20. As a country boy, I can agree that things get a little slow outside the city😂 It’s nice to see that we don’t have to post loads of content a day though ☺️

  21. My 2018’s going OK, I do agree with taking things slower and I’m actively trying not to be surgically attached to my phone, to spend some time without having technology at my fingertips, out in nature.

    Amy | hookedonthemusic.com

  22. I agree that we put so much pressure on living our life to the fullest and doing everything in the rush like everything needs to happen right now… I believe we should just go with a flow sometimes. My 2018 has been pretty good at least March and now these three days of April so far, but January and February were like preparing me for new chapter in my life, I’ll definitely steal this blog post idea.

    https://theprojectheadway.com

  23. This post speaks to me. I’m such a bloody perfectionist that it either be my worst or best enemy. But, that’s why reflections are vital for our growth. Everything happens for a reason. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Good luck to you

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