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Always being the go-girl

If you were to compare me with any character on TV, it’d probably be a cross between Monica Gellar (from F.r.i.e.n.d.s) and Bree Van Der Kamp (from Desperate Housewives). If I was a mother (which I’m not and not planning to be anytime soon), I would be that mum who’s the head of the PTA, hosts bake sales, play dates among other events, has a job, a house, hobbies and thinks it’s also a good idea to buy an allotment. I’m not but in my vision for my future, that’s who I imagine myself to be. So what does that say about where I’m at now?

First of all, I just want to say that I deeply admire women. I admire how much we can cope with and how much we do on a daily basis. Mother’s, career-women, carers, students – whoever you are, you rock. But what I wanted to talk about today is my deep-set need to always be the “go girl“. To put it in perspective… I’m writing this post on November 12th. November. 12th. To be published in January. I am that far ahead with blog posts and whilst yes, it makes things much less stressful when January rolls around and I already have content for the month ready to go, is it strictly necessary? Not really. Does it make me better than anyone else? Nope. Is it healthy behavior? Hmmm, it can be. But in my case, I’m not sure it is. 

I’m always on, on, on. To the point where I don’t give myself time to relax. And when I do, I’m not relaxing properly because I’m thinking about my next “on” task or my to-do list for the following day. I get days, like everyone, where I can’t bring myself to do anything, yes. This is usually down to my mental health and if I’m having a particularly rough mental health day the thought of even brushing my teeth is too much. But on average, I’m pretty much on it all the time. If I’m not writing blog posts, I’m thinking of post ideas. If I’m not doing that, I’m focusing on my book tour business. If I’m not doing that, I’m sorting out my room, making cakes which I don’t need to make (not for the pleasure of making them, just for the sake of feeling and looking productive to others) or brain-storming projects.

My attitude isn’t strictly healthy and my incessant need to make the outside world look at me and think “wow, she’s always on it. She’s so organised” certainly isn’t. As someone who preaches self care until she’s blue in the face, I certainly need to start practicing what I preach. I need to understand and realise that relaxing is good. Down-time is good. Not thinking about work or blogging or “tasks” or to-do lists is good. And not being productive every once in a while isn’t something to be ashamed about. When I grow up (haha, I’m 25, who am I kidding), I want to be that mum that people look at and think “wow, she’s really got it together. I don’t know how she does it“. But I also need to learn to be that person that knows when enough is enough and that they don’t need to hold the entire world on their shoulders in order to be seen as a role-model, an organised individual or a go-girl.

Have you ever experienced thoughts like this? What do you do to truly relax and un-wind? Do you have any advice for me? Let’s discuss!

Jenny in Neverland

Twenty-something lifestyle blogger from Essex. Book lover, Slytherin, organisational wizard and enjoys Motorsport, Disney and Yoga.

123 Comments

  1. […] doing all the damn time. I spoke more about this in a post I wrote a couple of years ago called always being the go girl but thankfully I’ve come a long way since […]

  2. […] love a good series. I much prefer watching a series than a film and as someone that really struggles to justify having downtime, a series is a perfect option. So I’ve been really knuckling down with watching all the […]

  3. You are hard-working, strong minded, and a dedicated woman – nothing wrong in that. In fact it makes you a good role model for others – but also it is important to look after yourself and not work yourself down for the sake of others.

    great post!
    -Lena

    1. Thank you – I know what you mean but I know for a fact that I’m not doing a lot of these things for the right reasons. But it has improved since I posted this! It’s a long process 😌

  4. […] need down time and give our thinking minds a break but it’s in my nature to always want to be on, on, on all the hecking damn time. However, I have managed to have a word with myself, sit myself down and […]

  5. […] and motivated person that I find it hard to switch off from “to-do list mode”. I always have to be doing something, in order to achieve something else and when I’m feeling rubbish, the work I do is going to be […]

  6. […] but this year, I’ve really started to work on my excessive need to be productive 24/7 and never giving myself down time. I would work frantically from the second I woke up until the second I went to sleep, scheduling […]

  7. […] letting the work take over and not giving myself any time to do anything else and being in constant GO mode all day, every day. I found myself thinking about work related things all the time, not […]

  8. […] I don’t relax. Ever. I just find it so incredibly difficult and I have this incessant need to be constantly productive, 24/7. I love how I’m able to get so much done. I love that I’m a goal orientated person. I […]

  9. […] how I feel. Over the past year or so, I’ve grown into more and more of an over-achiever. I’ve addressed this a few times on my blog and on Twitter that I’m finding it more and more of a problem that I don’t allow myself […]

  10. I hope you’re learning to wind down babes! You sound like you’re so stressed and I don’t want a babe ass babe like yourself to burn out xx Sending you lot’s of love and positive vibes, maybe try having baths with a nice book (food or thought?) xxx

    1. Awh thanks lovely, I’m still working on it for sure. I think I’m getting a bit better at chilling the F out! Long way to go but it’s progress xxx

  11. […] with this one. 1) It conflicts greatly with my need to feel productive 24/7 (which I touched on in this post). I struggle massively doing anything which doesn’t get me further in terms of work or […]

  12. […] I’m really surprised that this one is so high up because it was basically just a load of word vomit haha! It was definitely one of my more un-planned posts and a bit of a ramble because I needed to get it off my chest but I’ve noticed during my time blogging that sometimes, those posts do the best because they’re so authentic. A year ago, one of my best posts was one I whacked out in Sainsbury’s car park! You can find this post here. […]

  13. i definitely understand were your coming from, Im the same. it can be hard to to switch off when your always thinking about the next thing

    1. It really can xx

  14. Well… first of all I am in search of that person who floated this (mid) conception of superwoman.
    No one shows either aim for it also.
    We already are technically blessed to multitask .. let’s not abuse this characteristic feature any more ..
    chill !! And enjoy !!

    One of my senior suggested her idea of relaxing. She used to take day off during mid of the week when kids n Hubby are off to their work. Although not always feasible to do … but no harm trying once 😊

  15. As with all things, productivity is good up to a point. If you feel like it impacts your mental health always being on the go then adding in some rest time definitely sounds necessary! I know it might seem counter-productive, but if you like having a to-do list so much, why not schedule in an hour or so of self-care each week and look at it as being part of being ‘the go-girl’? Just a thought!
    Anna xxx
    http://www.glass-shoes.com

    1. Yeah I do add in sort of self carey bits to my to do lists every day but then I’m just in a rush to get it done and over with! It’s a vicious cycle xxx

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