Anyone who’s been around here for long enough will be familiar with my anxiety disorder story. I was diagnosed with 2011 and my entire world and life changed. Thankfully, in 2019, I was formally undiagnosed as I didn’t possess traits or signs of an anxiety disorder anymore, which is amazing. But I still continue to work on myself and my personal development every single day.
The thing I lost the most during my 8/9 years of this disorder was my independence. I couldn’t go anywhere alone for almost 7 years. I hated it and worried constantly about whether this would be my life forever. But it wasn’t. And it’s not. And in December, I took a big step for myself and went on my first solo spa break.
I’m not going to talk about the hotel, the treatments or what I had for dinner in this post (I have posted the odd photo on my Instagram though) because that wasn’t the point of the trip. I didn’t go for the purpose of using it for content, so where I went and what treatments I had are irrelevant.
I went for my own personal well-being and self care but I did want to write up a little something about some things that I learned about myself from my first ever experience of going away by myself. Yes, it was just one night. But the point being is that 3 years ago, I could have only DREAMED of doing something like this.
But now I’ve made it a reality and already know that I will continue to take solo trips this year because I had such a wonderful and positive experience. It was everything I hoped it would be and honestly, I could have stayed there by myself for a week, if I had the time!
So here’s what I learned about myself from my first ever solo spa break:
I love my own company
Something I never thought would have been possible a few years ago but I actually really like my own company! I like to experience things in my own way, take my own time, do my own thing and not have to answer to anyone. I value my relationships but this experience has made me value my alone time 10x more as well.
Eating by yourself isn’t such a big deal
Before this trip, I had taken myself out for a coffee and a cake at a local tearoom before but I’d never sat down in a restaurant, to eat a meal by myself. I had dinner and breakfast by myself during this trip and it was nowhere near as daunting as I thought it would be. It was actually a rather nothing thing, I just read my book and enjoyed my meal, without really caring about anyone else.
I crave comfort
Comfort was key for me on this trip. Being a spa break I wanted ALL the comforts. So I took my hot water bottle, comfy pajamas and a lovely bath oil for a bath that evening when I got back to the room after dinner and I proper indulged in all the comforts on offer – including their very own relaxation room. Which made me realise that’s something I should focus on more in my day-to-day life too.
I’m actually super relaxed when I’m on my own
I wasn’t anxious at all on this trip. Not once. And I’m finding more and more that I’m actually less anxious when I’m on my own because I feel like I have control over a situation and I can face situations entirely in my own way. I’m very comfortable talking to people whilst on my own, doing my own thing and relaxing into my own company. Which is amazing.
Talking is overrated
I did very little talking during those two days and it was amazing. Unnecessary small talk is so overrated and there’s nothing wrong with silence. Silence is beautiful. In fact when I got home to a house with 3 other people, all of which were talking all the time, I actually found myself getting a bit agitated.
My anxiety disorder hasn’t and will never define me
It’s changed me – oh Lord, has it changed me. It’s helped me learn. It’s allowed me to grow. But it will never define me, it’s just part of my story. And I’m so bloody proud of myself for taking this step for this trip. I absolutely loved every second of it and I can’t wait to book another one and spend even longer there!
Have you ever been on a solo spa break? Do you enjoy spending time by yourself? Let me know in the comments!
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