Anyone who’s been around here for long enough will be familiar with my anxiety disorder story. I was diagnosed with 2011 and my entire world and life changed. Thankfully, in 2019, I was formally undiagnosed as I didn’t possess traits or signs of an anxiety disorder anymore, which is amazing. But I still continue to work on myself and my personal development every single day.

The thing I lost the most during my 8/9 years of this disorder was my independence. I couldn’t go anywhere alone for almost 7 years. I hated it and worried constantly about whether this would be my life forever. But it wasn’t. And it’s not. And in December, I took a big step for myself and went on my first solo spa break.

I’m not going to talk about the hotel, the treatments or what I had for dinner in this post (I have posted the odd photo on my Instagram though) because that wasn’t the point of the trip. I didn’t go for the purpose of using it for content, so where I went and what treatments I had are irrelevant.

I went for my own personal well-being and self care but I did want to write up a little something about some things that I learned about myself from my first ever experience of going away by myself. Yes, it was just one night. But the point being is that 3 years ago, I could have only DREAMED of doing something like this. 

But now I’ve made it a reality and already know that I will continue to take solo trips this year because I had such a wonderful and positive experience. It was everything I hoped it would be and honestly, I could have stayed there by myself for a week, if I had the time!

So here’s what I learned about myself from my first ever solo spa break:

I love my own company 

Something I never thought would have been possible a few years ago but I actually really like my own company! I like to experience things in my own way, take my own time, do my own thing and not have to answer to anyone. I value my relationships but this experience has made me value my alone time 10x more as well.

Eating by yourself isn’t such a big deal

Before this trip, I had taken myself out for a coffee and a cake at a local tearoom before but I’d never sat down in a restaurant, to eat a meal by myself. I had dinner and breakfast by myself during this trip and it was nowhere near as daunting as I thought it would be. It was actually a rather nothing thing, I just read my book and enjoyed my meal, without really caring about anyone else.

I crave comfort 

Comfort was key for me on this trip. Being a spa break I wanted ALL the comforts. So I took my hot water bottle, comfy pajamas and a lovely bath oil for a bath that evening when I got back to the room after dinner and I proper indulged in all the comforts on offer – including their very own relaxation room. Which made me realise that’s something I should focus on more in my day-to-day life too.

I’m actually super relaxed when I’m on my own

I wasn’t anxious at all on this trip. Not once. And I’m finding more and more that I’m actually less anxious when I’m on my own because I feel like I have control over a situation and I can face situations entirely in my own way. I’m very comfortable talking to people whilst on my own, doing my own thing and relaxing into my own company. Which is amazing.

Talking is overrated 

I did very little talking during those two days and it was amazing. Unnecessary small talk is so overrated and there’s nothing wrong with silence. Silence is beautiful. In fact when I got home to a house with 3 other people, all of which were talking all the time, I actually found myself getting a bit agitated.

My anxiety disorder hasn’t and will never define me

It’s changed me – oh Lord, has it changed me. It’s helped me learn. It’s allowed me to grow. But it will never define me, it’s just part of my story. And I’m so bloody proud of myself for taking this step for this trip. I absolutely loved every second of it and I can’t wait to book another one and spend even longer there!

Have you ever been on a solo spa break? Do you enjoy spending time by yourself? Let me know in the comments!

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53 Comments

  1. Thank you for being so honest – I enjoyed reading! 🙂 I have never done a solo spa trip, but have always wanted to. You convinced me! I also love your comment on needing to “love spending time with ourselves.” Something we all probably need to practice.

  2. I am so glad you went ! I love doing things alone and I’m glad so many people are finally joining and seeing how therapeutic it can be even though it’s scary at first. Solo spa days are my jam! I try to go every few months for a solo pamper sesh!

  3. I’ve been wanting to put myself out of my comfort zone and do some solo things! I’ve gone to a cafe before alone, but I’ve never gone to a restaurant alone. I think I want to start with going to the movies by myself, and then go from there? I’m so glad to hear that you had such an amazing solo trip! It makes me feel better about attempting it myself xx

    Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com

  4. This sounds so nice! I’ve actually never had a sit down meal at a restaurant before by myself either. I should try that out sometime. Thanks for sharing this!

  5. It sounds like you had an amazing spa day!!! I am glad that it was so much fun, and that you learned so much. I agree with you…silence can be a beautiful thing! 🙂

  6. Yes ive gone on spa days, theatre trips, nights away and dinners by myself. I like my own company too and have no one else to consider/worry about, for a short time. Often its because those who i do consider/worry about/care for is the reason i do it. To recharge… Its also very liberating to do… 😊

  7. Your solo spa trip sounds brilliant and I’m proud of you for making such a huge step out of your comfort zone Jenny! I would love to try and do a spa day or something similar for myself one day! I agree with you about talking being overrated, sometimes it’s just nice to sit quietly and just be with your own thoughts x

    Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk

  8. I love hearing that you had a good time at the spa. I wish I had the confidence to go. I am working on it. Thank you for sharing your experience. It has inspired me.

  9. This has really inspired me to take some time for me and just go for it and book that solo spa trip. I’ve been so in my head about just doing it because I’m scared of going alone but the reality is no one cares what I’m doing there and chances are, I’ll never meet them again anyway so why should I care what anyone thinks. So nice you done this for yourself.

  10. I can feel as I read this how important this experience was for you; I admire that you went out on your own and had the time in the spa. I need to push myself a bit more with getting out of my comfort zone — thanks for the much needed reminder!

  11. On Saturday, I finished Rebecca Serle’s new book, One Italian Summer. In the story, the protagonist goes on a trip to Positano by herself after losing her mom. Reading that book made me want to take a solo trip somewhere. Maybe I won’t start as big as a trip to another continent, but what you did here? Going on a solo spa trip? That sounds absolutely perfect to me. I think that it would be so beneficial in finding enjoyment in my own company and learning how to process being alone. I’ve always been a rather independent person, but having a chronic illness has somewhat forced me to rely on others – and since my husband and I live in a rural area, we pretty much spend all our time together. I don’t get too much “alone time” to just BE (and not actively work). I may need to schedule something like this for myself in the future. Thank you for inspiring me!!!

    1. I’m so glad this post found you. I’d love to go abroad by myself but I’m just not ready so this was the perfect place to start and sounds like it would be for you too. Hope you can find a spa retreat near you xxxx

  12. It’s funny that your post found me today. I’ve been considering going on a yoga retreat “alone.” I would be with a group of strangers but I wouldn’t have a friend or my boyfriend. Sure I could ask someone to go with me, but the idea of doing it on my own is really enticing. I want to be that person that can thrive on their own. I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed your solo spa trip! Maybe I can be brave enough to commit to this retreat!

    1. Oh you so should! Funny you should say that as well because I’ve just found a yoga retreat I’d like to do this year, so I’ll likely end up doing that on my own! You’ve got this – book it!

  13. I’m so jealous of your spa day! I had one recently with my husband on our honeymoon and we were split off from each other for different treatments. I was sooo anxious about it on the run up and even when they asked us into different areas, my heart was all a flutter. No idea why, I’m super independent normally and happy to do anything – I just felt so vulnerable in a robe and paper pants!
    The treatment was glorious, just what I needed and I didn’t even miss him hahaha!
    Rosie

  14. I’ve never done a solo spa trip, but I definitely want to. I love spending time with myself and it helps me to tend to my emotional needs without judgement.

  15. I LOVE this post. You are absolutely smashing it girlie. I honestly got goosebumps reading this as it just proves that these bad times don’t last forever. I’m suffering badly with my anxiety at the moment so reading this made me feel really inspired and motivated to beat this! I’m so pleased you had a lovely time, you deserve it. Thank you so much for sharing this with us lovely. Xo

    Elle – ellegracedeveson.com

    1. Thank you so much and I’m so glad this gave you some hope. Honestly I never thought I’d be able to do anything again – not just on my own but in general. There was a time I couldn’t even step foot in a shop without having a breakdown. One step at a time; if you wanna chat you know where I am! Xxxx

  16. This is just wonderful to read, Jenny, I want to say I’m so proud of you and I hope that doesn’t come across as being patronising because it isn’t meant that way at all. As you say, silence is beautiful, and talking is very overrated. Here’s to your next solo trip, wherever that takes you! x

  17. I love this Jenny! Going to the spa on my own is one of my favourite things to do. It definitely took some courage to do it in the first place but now I really look forward to the time alone amd relaxation. I’m glad you found it so beneficial.

  18. Your solo spa trip sounds lovely and I am happy that you were able to escape and relax for a bit. It’s hard to turn off our brains sometimes, and sometimes, we just need a break to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

    I went to the movies twice in my lifetime by myself, but I didn’t find it very relaxing. I would love love love to go to a spa retreat. A girl can dream! 🧘‍♀️💕

  19. you are very brave 🌷 I am planning to eat at a restaurant, by myself, for the first time and I am 57 years old ❤️

    1. I ate at a restaurant by myself once, but I was talking to my boyfriend (now husband) at the time on the phone the entire time, so I don’t know if that counts haha. It was a 5 hour phone call but it was a LDR at the time.

      1. that certainly counts…I’ve been doing a lot of “therapy” things lately …I think of it as mountain climbing ..each one is a step by step expedition that can take years of planning, and I don’t always “summit” but trying is what matters…thanks 😊

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