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Over the course of this month so far, I’ve spoken about at-home date ideas for couples to do during lockdown and virtual date ideas for those who are apart. But I’m yet to speak about the nitty-gritty of actually managing your relationship whilst in lockdown. A lot of us are spending a LOT of time with our partners right now. Much more than normal. And it’d only be natural for you to need to put in a bit of extra work to make sure you don’t both drive each other up the walls!
Photo byย Jonathan Borbaย onย Unsplash
Relationships take work. Pandemic or not. But when we’re thrown into an extra stressful situation, sometimes the cracks of our relationships start to show. Perhaps a partner wasn’t as supportive as you originally thought they were. Or perhaps you realise that your priorities aren’t what you believed.
And it’s safe to say that right now, we are DEFINITELY in a stressful situation. Some more so than others but all of us will have a sense of doom looming over our heads every time we turn the news on or open up the news app on our iPhone.
If you’re not in a relationship but are actively dating – whether that’s heading out into your local town (when we can!) or using dating sites such as The Bristol Dating Site and The Berkshire Dating Site – this could still be helpful information for you. Because if this year has taught us anything, it’s that ANYTHING can happen.
So today we’re going to look at various ways we can help make our relationships work and manage our relationship whilst in lockdown:
Communicate effectively
I think the most important thing in any relationship, at any time, is communication. We all need to be able to communicate effectively with each other in order to live as harmoniously as possible. And this definitely goes for being in lockdown with your partner too.
So communicate with each other. Is something bothering you? Are you stressed? Is something they’re doing not working for you? Tell them. We all have voices – let’s use them.
Spend time together
Although we are physically going to be spending a LOT of time together, there’s a difference between just being in the same room as each other and spending quality time together. Quality time is what you need to be focusing on in lockdown because that’s what will keep you closer.
Perhaps have an entire day away from your phones and play games together? Or cook a nice meal together and have a make-shift date night? There are loads of ways to spend quality time together at home!
Spend time apart
And equally as important, is spending time apart. As much as we love our partners, spending time alone is healthy and good for us. Try and make sure you both have your own individual hobbies which allows you to spend time apart – albeit only in different rooms. Work away from each other at least once a day.
Help each other where necessary
Like we all know and like we’ve just covered, it is a STRESSFUL time right now. Supporting each other is one of the most important things we can do. And I’m not just talking about supporting an elderly neighbor who might not be able to get out to the shops. Supporting those right in front of us is equally as important.
There may be times where our partner isn’t coping very well but because you see them all day, every day, you don’t notice. So ensure you both have a good understanding of how you can help each other. At least just to make this nightmare a little more bearable.
Thanks for sharing! I got frustrated actually that we always do things together, I started to to tell my husband to leave me alone sometimes, which sounds a bit cruel but I really need my time with myself.
I totally understand. It’s not cruel and it’s totally normal to want time alone. Maybe explain it to him and you can both have some alone time?
Definitely agree with these – particulary communication! I always have to remind myself Blair isn’t psychic and he can’t fix what he doesn’t know about. We’ve actually got on well during lockdown, we’ve fallen into a nice routine of spending most of the day apart doing our own thing but then cooking together and spending the evening with each other. It’s been really peaceful actually!
That sounds lovely! Me and Carl definitely do our own thing in the day, too! I’m usually working, he’s playing PlayStation or watching Formula 1 repeats (he’s furloughed!)
My job in online dating has shown me that love and flirting can get you through anything! It is really important to keep things exciting! I couldn’t recommend those two sites for finding local love enough!
Rosie
I know Iโve said it before but Iโd love to read a post about your experience working in online dating during this time!
I love that spending time together and apart are both on this list. That balance is definitely needed, especially if you’re not used to seeing each other that much and don’t want to drive each other insane during this process x
Oh definitely. If I didn’t wake up really early and have a few hours to myself, I’d go mad!
Great post. I and my girlfriend are currently separated in this lock-down. But we still make efforts to make sure we keep the fire burning from a distance and we are already using all of the tips you made mention of and more.
Iโm glad to hear that ๐
Excellent ideas. We live in an apartment that’s less than 700 square feet, moving into another room to read or crochet gives me that much needed down time during this time.
Glad you’ve found those small things to help.
Nice thought and advise! Although we are together 24/7 these days but we also managed to keep up with what we personally want. Like he spends most of the time with his backyard breeding while I do my reading and online work inside the house. But at night time we always made sure that we have our bonding together with our son such as movie night…
Great tips! Communication is for sure a must. Spending time apart, too. It may be hard for some, depending on space, but totally needed.
tonyalee @ http://vivacousbibliophile.com
Itโs definitely hard for us to spend time apart as we currently live with my parents so thereโs not a huge amount of space!
Good ideas! Spending time apart is equally as important as spending time together!
Totally x
Jenny, you have a very good idea about managing a relationship in time like this. Nice work, Jenny.
It’s weird how spending more time together can often lead to less quality time together… This is something we’re actively working on. We spend a lot of time together anyway so I’m quite enjoying it, but still grateful for being able to sit in different rooms!
Yeah it totally is weird isn’t it! My boyfriend and I are doing LESS together now that we’re with each other 24/7. I feel like I see him more when he’s at work?
Spending time apart is such an important one I think. Whilst I’m glad I’m not having to go through lockdown by myself, it’s easy to get on each others nerves! A bit of space from each other usually helps if one of us is having a bit of a bad day or feeling stressed xx
Tiffany x http://www.foodandotherloves.co.uk
I totally agree. I’m glad he’s here but I’m grateful for spending time alone haha!
Weve been spending weekends together; I fear though that he will be returning to work before me and b/c I”m at risk we will be apart from each other for a while. ๐
If you live together then you won’t be spending time apart!
Some really useful tips here Jenny x
Thank you x
Some really good ideas here, me and my boyfriend are current in lockdown separately but these are really good tips for those who are struggling!x
Thank you ๐ Hope you’re both doing okay! xxx
I love this – its so important to learn to live well together with other people who are close to you whilst in the is difficult situation we are all in! especially your SO. thanks for sharing – these tips will come to use when I have a partner for sure!
-Lena
https://www.lenasnotebook.co.uk/
I’m sure these could be used for most relationships tbh! ๐
This is such an important topic I think! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you ๐
Oh, it’s rough right now! My partner is sheltering with me in my tiny studio apartment and it’s been….trying. We’ll put it that way. I think we’d be fine if we had separate rooms to retreat to now and then.
Crikey, hope you’re both doing okay.
We are doing pretty well so far! Not one fight, and spend time apart and together. I think we were lucky he moved in months before this all happened and got the fights out of the way then. Now we are just enjoying our time together.
That’s great to hear!
I can’t fully relate because I am hella single right now ๐คฃ but I think you really hit the nail on the head with being in the same room doesn’t necessarilly mean you are spending quality time together. I know a few people at work are so glad they they are able to get away from their partners because they are so not used to spending so much time together!
Aimsy xoxo
Aimsyโs Antics
I’m sure these tips could translate to other relationships too. But I can totally relate to them tbh – I love spending hours during the day in a room on my own!
It has been quite strange just being with my boyfriend literally 24/7, usually we’ll both go off to work in the day and so its just the morning and evening together. These are great tips though, we both have our own hobbies so I might be sitting on the sofa or in the bedroom on the nintendo switch or blogging whilst he is in the living room playing video games with his mates!
Chloe xx
http://www.chloechats.com
That sounds perfect and sounds very much like us too – he spends most of his time gaming and I do other stuff. Our main hobby together is Formula 1 and whilst that isn’t on at the moment, we have loads of time to spend on our own things!
Great tips, spending time apart is important too x
Thank you x
Really good advice; thanks for sharing. I do agree with you about spending time apart where possible. This is such a claustrophobic situation.
It sure is!
Great post! I’ve been working hard not to kill my partner during lock down! We share an office but THANK GOD I can move my laptop!
Hahaha I can really relate!
Totally agree that being in the same room as each other doesn’t always mean you’re spending time together. Me and my partner are terrible at that sometimes, but we have an evening routine down for the most part, where we switch our phones off and just talk.
We’re both still working at the moment though (more so than before) so I must admit, we have been spending a lot less time together. But, when we did spend the weekend together we ended up bickering a little – so space is important too definitely! I value my days off alone at home so much.
Kate | thelittlecrunch.co.uk
Ah it’s important to find a system that works for you for sure!
We’ve been spending time apart during the day and coming together in the evening to eat dinner and hang out which seems to be working really well ๐ xx
Holly | http://www.gollymissholly.uk
That sounds perfect!
Great post! I completely agree with the spending more time together aspect. My partner and I have certainly been guilty of falling into this trap. I think another thing we’ve been working hard at is spending our “work time” together. We’ve set my computer up next to his in our dining room and we spend this time together as if we were colleagues. It’s actually kind of fun and keeps us chugging on through the 9-5 aspect of lockdown.
I think the reason why Rob and I have been getting on so well is due to the fact thatโs we are making sure we make quality time for each other still.
Itโs really been our saving grace I think.
Brilliant advice x
Oh absolutely ๐ That’s great to hear!
Good Advise!!! Spending time apart is very important, every person needs some minutes alone.
Totally agree!
My fiancรฉ works from home so nothing much has changed for him, weโre working in completely desperate rooms and spend most of our working hours apart which is helping to keep things a little bit more normal and it means we can get on with our work without annoying each other!
Lauren | http://www.laurenyloves.co.uk
I’m in a similar situation! I spend all my working hours in a separate room!
Oh my goodness, this! “Thereโs a difference between just being in the same room as each other and spending quality time together” – So so true. Great post!
Thank you ๐ xx