collaborative post | A lot of us have bad patterns of behaviour that we’re totally unaware of. We might be aware of the results (for example, being tired all the time), but unaware of what’s causing those results (too much screentime, work stress, poor sleep hygiene etc…). However, if you can develop the self-awareness required to identify unhelpful behaviour patterns, you may well find your life improving in unexpected ways. So, here, let us give you a quick primer in identifying and breaking unhelpful behaviour patterns:
Recognising negative habits and addictions
Many of our most unhelpful habits solve an immediate problem for us. For example, putting off a difficult task removes pressure for a few hours, or drinking can change how you feel for an evening. The longer-term consequences of habits like these, however, are less obvious because they develop gradually. By the time you’re contacting a PCP rehab clinic to deal with your addiction problem, you’ve already been engaging in bad habits to deal with underlying problems for some years. This may be an extreme example, but the principle applies even to less directly harmful behavioural patterns: if you’re chronically tired, for example, it’s likely that you’ve had poor sleep hygiene habits for a long time.
Identifying triggers
Patterns rarely appear out of the blue, so it’s important to pay attention to the context around times when you might feel bad, or when things go wrong. This can reveal both the bad habits you engage in that provoke (or deal with) these feelings, and the triggers that bring them on.
For example, if you think you’re drinking too much, make a note of every time you feel the need to drink, and the context around that need. Write down how you feel, what made you feel like that, what you’ve done today, and anything else (however minor!) that might feel relevant. Before long, you’re likely to see patterns emerging. Maybe you always stop by a bar for a drink on days when you’ve had a meeting. Maybe you drink when you’ve slept badly, or when you’re looking forward to a lie-in in the morning. Understanding the context and feelings around bad habits can be hugely helpful in breaking those habits.
Forming new habits
It’s often not enough to simply remove a bad behaviour, as doing so will leave a gap in your life that’s likely to let the old bad patterns creep back in. So, try replacing bad habits with something more productive. For example, rather than heading to the bar after a tiring meeting, go for a relaxing swim, or grab coffee with a friend, or settle down with a good book. Remember, the replacement doesn’t need to be dramatic – it needs to fulfil the same (or similar) need as the bad habit did but without the harmful effects.
Seeking professional help
Recognition and change are different things. Just recognising your bad habits and gaining a greater understanding of why you’re engaging in them doesn’t necessarily equate to tackling the problem. It’s a good start, but it’s far from the whole journey. In order to take the next steps, it may be a good idea to seek professional help. Therapists and behavioural specialists spend much of their time helping people examine their habits in detail, and can help you to devise strong strategies to tackle your problematic behaviours.
Maintaining patience
Behaviour patterns that developed over years rarely disappear quickly. A month can feel like a very long time when you’re actively trying to change, but some of the most meaningful differences only become obvious after a much longer period. And the positive impacts on your life of putting in the work to understand and tackle your harmful habits are usually very much worth it.
Identifying an unhelpful behaviour pattern is only the beginning. The more difficult part is paying attention to when it happens, what triggers it and what keeps it in place. Once those questions have clearer answers, deciding what to do next is much easier.
