Whether your relationship lasted 5 weeks or 5 years, a breakup can leave you feeling heartbroken, lonely, lost and even physically and mentally ill. There is no magic method to get you over the pain of a split; however, there are healthy coping mechanisms you can use to help you get on with your life with grace and strength.
During the time after your split, it is important to be mindful of your emotions, reframe from urges and set a new course. Your ultimate goal is to come through this ordeal in one piece and you never know, you could even emerge brighter and happier.
There is no doubt you invested a part of yourself in a relationship and whether you’re on the receiving end, or you are the dumper, you must accept that the relationship you once nurtured is gone. It is a rocky road to happiness, but it’s a road that has been traversed before. Here are 5 things to do after a break up to help you along your way.
- Block everything
The first thing you need to do is block the ex-partner on every form of social media. Facebook, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Snapchat, your phone and even eBay if needs be. It may also be a good idea that after your blocking purge, you steer clear of social media for a few days. It will keep you from creeping where you don’t want to be looking.
Blocking them from your life also means getting rid of anything that could remind you of them. Take any belongings to one of your friends and ask them to return it, delete photos of the two of you and consider tattoo removal if you inked your skin in their name.
- Reach out
The next thing to do is to speak to someone, preferably older and wiser, and talk to them. Cry, vent or just chat, whatever you need to do to get it out of your system. They will help you to feel better and remind you of your worth.
Also reach out to your best friends and have them over, get in pizza, ice cream, girly films, pyjamas and maybe some tissues. This is your time to be sad around the people that love you most. Tell them everything you have been holding in and you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.
- Channel emotions
Find a way to channel your emotions towards the break-up. You might feel hurt, angry, sad, lonely or jealous, they are all completely normal emotions, but it is good to channel them in a healthy way. It could be through music, writing, exercise or drawing.
If you feel it to be the right move, you can consider seeing a therapist. They can offer advice in helping you deal with a break up and offer a perspective on your situation from an outsider’s point of view.
- Make plans
When you are truly hurting, it can be very easy to wake up and give up on the day before it has even begun. You’ll then find yourself going back to sleep, waking up again, calling in sick, snooping on your ex’s Instagram, seeing new photos appear of them having a great time and leave you wondering why they are not hurting like you.
It can be a vicious cycle and lead to you calling or texting them, which is a definite no-no during a break-up. Make sure you have somewhere to be everyday so that your life has some sort of structure. Keeping busy will help keep the social media snooping and emotional feelings to the back of your mind.
- Learn love’s lesson
Even though it’s difficult to accept the relationship has ended, know that you have gained invaluable information and life experience. You can take from this the lesson of what you need from a relationship and how to communicate those needs. There are 7 stages of grieving after a break-up, so let yourself experience all of them in order to successfully come out the other side without looking back.
Yes sometimes lessons hurt, but learning is an important part of the healing process. You will grow as a result of the experience and rest in the knowledge that while you are learning these lessons, you are preparing for your future soul mate, as they are preparing for you.