If you read my blog enough, you’ll know that almost a decade ago, I developed an absolutely crippling and debilitating anxiety disorder. It changed and ruined my life in equal measures. But every cloud has a silver lining (in my opinion anyway) and that experience gave me a much deeper relationship with myself. Especially with the benefits of alone time. Because for a number of years, I was TERRIFIED of spending time alone.

Benefits of Alone Time

Photo by Tanya Trukyr on Unsplash

When my anxiety was at it’s very worst, being alone was my worst nightmare. I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust that I could take care of myself. It was awful. Even being home alone was torture. And that for me was the start of a longgggg journey to trusting myself again. To learning to be with myself again. And learning to love myself again – anxiety and all.

Related: Who Am I Without My Anxiety Disorder?

Next month, my book Finding Your Way Back To You is being published (eeeek!) where I go into the fine details of my anxiety disorder, how it affected my life and literally everything in-between. And I look much more closely at how I felt being by myself.

Benefits of Alone Time

But now? My gosh, I value my time alone so much. It took me almost a decade to realise that, “hey, you’re alright on your own” but I finally got there and I value my alone time more than ever. The benefits of alone time are monumental and I truly believe that everyone needs that time and space alone to work on themselves. Being alone doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy the company of your partner or your children. It doesn’t mean you’re lonely either.

My need for alone time became particularly apparent during lockdown, when I was at home with 3 other people for over 4 months. I live at home with my parents and boyfriend at present with both my Mum and boyfriend usually working every day and my Dad being out and about doing things. I work from home and suddenly, I had no time or space to myself. In July, it really started to get to me and my anxiety was rising, I was getting agitated and even disassociating at times because I just couldn’t bare to be around people any longer.

It was then that the value of alone time REALLY hit me, so today I want to look at 6 benefits of alone time:

6 Benefits of Alone Time

Alone time helps you learn more about yourself

I don’t know about anyone else but I can rarely go inwards and do a bit of soul searching when I’m surrounded by other people. When there’s constant chatter in my ear. One of the huge benefits of alone time is that it helps you learn more about yourself – more than you’ll probably ever learn with other people. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I feel completely and totally myself. And it’s wonderful.

It helps you start to enjoy your own company

You know what’s absolutely EXHAUSTING? Hating your own company. Honestly, during that period where I was scared of being by myself, I’ve never been more exhausted. But as a 20 something woman, learning to enjoy my own company was crucial. And now I absolutely love it. I’d highly recommend checking out Absolutely Lucy – one of my absolute FAVOURITE bloggers who’s a solo female traveler!

It allows you to relax and recharge

This one’s for all the introverts out there. Gimmie an I – gimmie and N! This is something I really missed during lockdown – a chance to be by myself in peace and quiet and relax. Because with 3 other people and a dog all doing different things, with a million different noises happening around you, it was impossible to relax at times. I took myself off for a walk by myself, made sure I got up earlier so I could have some quiet time in the morning and had a LOT of baths!

Related: How To Switch Off and Relax

Alone time can boost your productivity

Another thing that I really struggled with at times in lockdown was my productivity. Now, I am a productive as heck person. I rarely procrastinate and I always get the shit done that I need to get done. But it’s so freaking hard when you’re trying to work in the same room as your boyfriend who WON’T. STOP. TALKING. If you need something doing and you’re finding you’re not getting it done – find some space for yourself.

Related: How To Stop Procrastinating and Get Things Done

When you’re alone – you can do anything you want!

Like I said earlier, when I’m alone, I feel completely myself and that’s one of my favorite things about it. I can do whatever I want without anyone judging me. I took myself out for a walk to a lake during lockdown and spent like, 40 minutes just sitting on a bench and watching the ducks swim on the water. If my boyfriend was there, he’d have got bored. But I didn’t have to worry about anythinggggg. It’s fab.

It allows you to work on your most important relationship – the one with yourself

And finally, one of the biggest benefits of alone time is that it allows you to work on your most important relationship of you – the one with yourself. With all the above points combined, spending time alone can allow you to learn about yourself, be yourself, enjoy yourself and do wonders for your personal growth. Nobody else is going to do it for you!

Benefits of Alone Time

Do you like spending time alone? What’s your favourite activity to do alone? Do you find benefits of alone time that I haven’t mentioned here? Let me know!

130 Comments

  1. I nodded my head vigorously while reading this post. In b-school itself, I realized I liked being on my own. My friend & I switched roommates so that we could be together but as soon as we moved in together, shit hit the fan.

    We fought & finally she started spending more time in another room. As soon as our cohabitation ended, we were friends again. I was naïve then but now I know that it was largely due to me. I felt my personal space badly encroached. Since then, I’ve appreciated being alone.

  2. Really needed to read this today. Been thinking for a while about moving out of my mums house and living by myself. The thought terrifies me but I know it will also help my anxiety and personal growth after the inital, scary part of being alone is over. So, thank you.

  3. I have only recently gotten used to spending time on my own but I am learning to use it to my advantage. Great post!

    Amber – The Unpredicted Page

  4. I’ve always needed a lot of alone time – I was an only child up until 8 plus I’m really introverted, so I think it became really crucial for me from that. I need a good few hours alone each day which I use for all sorts of things – reading, writing, gaming… Just time where I can unwind and get away from chatter!

  5. I love having some alone time, I know when I lived at home with my parents the only alone time I really had was if I disappeared to my bedroom in the evenings or if I decided to go out by myself but that was about it so I feel like I had to really learn to enjoy my own company when I moved out. Now I enjoy it, even today my boyfriend has gone out and I am left at home by myself and I am loving it haha xx

  6. I loveeeeee spending time on my own. I think it’s the thing I’ve struggled with the most since becoming a mum as I don’t care that chance as much anymore and when I do I feel guilty for it. I really need to find a happy medium xx

  7. Great post. I’m finding more and more these days that I need to spend time alone. I’ve now created space in the conservatory and go there every day to sit and just ‘be’. It’s wonderful

  8. This is so true. Although being alone has never made me anxious, I can totally relate to all these points. I crave my alone time so much, more than anything and it doesn’t mean I don’t like spending time with people I love, I just want to breathe for a minute.
    Whenever I’m alone, I’m the most productive person I’d ever be and I get to do what I want or just recharge. It’s truly liberating.

  9. I love my alone time, unfortunately it’s mostly gone out of the window this year since corona came along.

  10. I have to say, I’ve never felt so disconnected from myself, hadn’t really thought about it being due to any reason but it is absolutely because I have spent no time alone!

    From being single a really long time, I got used to my own company and I LOVED it, genuinely. Now I adore my time with Rob but that time to myself is so needed from time to time.

    Thank you for the great points and a reminder that we all need time alone sometimes x

  11. I’ve been taking some alone time of myself and I absolutely love it. I love being in the comfort of my own company, doing little chores, relaxing, catching up on things. I love how you’ve broken it down! thanks for sharing xx

  12. I adore alone time, sooo much. It’s definitely how I recharge and feel most at home. Every reason you mentioned here is spot on for me as well!! Nothing beats being in control of your own schedule, routine, and relaxation time. And eeep!! I can’t believe your publication date is coming up so fast!

  13. This is very interesting. As an introvert, I’ve always loved spending time alone. It energizes me. But for an extrovert (like my husband, for example), he gets his energy from being around people. I’d like to think I’ve helped him to enjoy being alone a little bit more. 🙂

  14. I know covid 19 brings many disadvantages for us. But, there is part of me thanking this situation for giving me time with myself A LOT.☺️ I finally read my tbr and can start my own book blog. I have much times to think about my life and what I really love and want to pursue.♥️ Thanks for writing this!

  15. I LOVE alone time. Not that I don’t like the company of my partner or friends, but I do love just watching my own stuff, playing video games or reading, and having no one to annoy me. It’s bliss and something I really didn’t experience prior to 2018!

  16. I love spending time with family and friends but there are times that I need my own space and company. After about a week, I start getting snappy and cranky with people unless I have space from them! Thanks for sharing these benefits 🙂

    Em x

  17. I absolutely love and need my alone time. Being a classic introvert, I NEED my alone time to recharge, otherwise I can become quite the monster! This lockdown season has been especially hard for me because you’re just constantly in the house with others, and it’s really impacted my mental health in a negative manner.

    I am happy for you for your journey. Becoming comfortable with being by ourselves is a process, and I know a lot of people struggle with it! And congratulations on your book. Can’t wait to read it. 🙂

  18. I completely agree with you Jenny. I’ve been on both sides of the coin too – afraid of being left alone (largely because of toxic or intrusive thoughts) and also relatively dependent on alone time. Sometimes I feel like alone time is the only time I can truly breathe or relax. And I completely sympathise with you on the productivity thing, my husband decides to launch into long winded conversations when I’m in the middle of writing something and it’s soooo frustrating!

  19. I have mixed feelings about alone time so for me, its important to get the right balance of alone time and time with others. I do mostly really enjoy alone time though because I can do my own thing and listen to my own music without anyone else complaining haha 🙂 x

  20. I actually love being by myself sometimes, whether I decide to take the dogs for a walk or just sit in a separate space and read a book. I sometimes feel like my head is going to explode if I’m around other people, especially big groups, for too long. I find it tiring being around too many people sometimes and really enjoy my own space. Wonderful read!

  21. Oh my goodness I LOVE alone time! I feel so much better when I am able to get a little alone time during the day!

  22. Great points! Honestly, I am a firm believer that alone time is necessary if we’re going to listen to our hearts and find our way in life. Otherwise, the outside ‘clutter’ drowns us out and makes it difficult to find out what our hearts and our guts are actually saying.

  23. I love this post! As much as I love being around people and being social I also absolutely love being alone. Whether its just reading a book or doing something such as going shopping, being by yourself is so important to relax and recharge.

  24. I love being alone – but still struggle with it at the same time. It’s an odd balance I’m trying to manage though.

    That being said – I’m super productive when I’m alone in the mornings!

  25. I honestly love being alone. It took me years to realize that, and like you, I was once really worried about being on my own. Now, it’s so pleasant! Don’t get me wrong, being with my husband is wonderful, and when he’s home a lot, it’s great because I adore his company. But, when I get a whole day to myself to just focus on my tasks and get everything done? It’s AMAZING. I feel so productive. And then I get to chill with sole possession of the remote control haha!

  26. I love love love love being alone, probably a little bit too much. My mum worked away a lot when I was younger so I spent a lot of my teenage years home alone and I got so used to having my own space and freedom that other people being around became a bit annoying at times 😂. But it really is great for self reflection x

    Sophie

    1. Oh I can imagine! A few years ago, my boyfriend, Mum and Dad all worked full time and because I work from home, I was home alone a lot. Now due to COVID and my Dad no longer working, there’s people in the house ALL THE TIME so it’s a difficult shift!

  27. I too love time alone. It is peaceful and quiet; I can think what I want to, wander into myself without worrying I will be interrupted. I can plan stories, think of stories, piece together stories, or just watch the trees move with the wind. I also love the opportunity to sort out my thoughts and reconnect with myself before heading back out into other people’s company.

  28. I love living with my hubby to be. I love his company. But I love my alone time. I love being able to just sit and read or watch a movie and enjoy it without him lol I think that alone time is so important to be able to think and reflect in a way that you can’t when others are around. It’s freeing, being on your own.

    Thanks for sharing xo
    tidbitsofcare.com

    1. After living alone for 4 months, I’m not exactly looking forward to my brother and his girlfriend moving back to our apartment – I love them but I love being alone and doing whatever I want. I never knew how important it is to have time to myself 🙂

      Shuana
      http://www.howivebeen.com

  29. I adore my own company, probably because I so rarely get to enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter and my husband but sometimes I CRAVE my alone time. Usually that’s in my garden, because they’re not so interested. And I love your point about the most important relationship being with yourself – that’s spot on, Jenny, thank you! xxx

    Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com

  30. Alone time always makes me more productive. The last few months have definitely been very challenging and I find myself wishing the other half would hurry up and go back to work

  31. I’m an introvert and need my alone time! I struggle to get it though with two young boys, so I have to be assertive and ask for it when I need it. You’ve reminded me how important it is!

  32. Love this post! That’s exactly how I felt during lockdown. Being with people 24/7 is not great and every time my partner was invited to the pub, even if it was a virtual meeting at the beginning I was telling him, almost begging him to go so I could have some alone time. As you, I started to go for more walks just to get at least one hour to myself a day.

  33. Loved this post and the reflection on alone time as a positive. As someone who suffers from social anxiety, I’ve always cherished my time alone but can understand how it can be debilitating for some. Quarantine has really shown us more about ourselves than I’m sure we’re all loathe to admit lol

  34. Completely agree with you Jenny! I’m extremely introverted as well as having social anxiety, so time alone is something I really need to thrive. Lately I’ve been living with Blair’s family and it’s been really hard not being alone at all, I have been so stressed out. Hopefully soon though I’ll be back to getting a bit of alone time and it will be glorious! I’m so glad you’re managing to find the good in something that used to make you anxious x

  35. I love some alone time too. I’m an introvert but I’ve really learnt the value of spending alone time at home rather than going out constantly to get alone time since I too have a busy home. Thanks for sharing.

  36. This is a really great post! I think spending time alone is very empowering, i struggle sometimes with anxiety when spending a lot of time alone but if I make a plan of what im gonna do, whether relaxing and pampering or getting some work done i do much better!

    1. I can really relate to that. When my anxiety was really bad, if I was faced with an extended period of time alone, I’d get really anxious about it but as soon as I had some tasks to do and a plan, it grounded me.

  37. I absolutely love spending time alone! But I wasn’t always that way. Like you I’ve developed anxiety over the last few years which left me no able to do anything alone at one point! It was a nightmare but I’m so much better now and I can relate to so many of these good points!

    Congrats on your book also! 🙂

    Grace xx

    https://www.gracebee.co.uk/

  38. I love my alone time, I love to sit and read in peace. I’m currently organising a room so I can sit with all my nice things in peace. Great post thanks for sharing. My other half usually works away but due to the situation he can’t. Love spending time with him t but I do enjoy alone time.

  39. I agree with a lot of what you say here. Although I love spending time with other people, I love spending time on my own. I also really like going up to London on my own and wandering around the sites. I think I like having the freedom of being able to do what I want to do.

  40. I totally agree with your points. Spending time alone is very important. I know that a lot of people find that hard to do. I don’t know if it is because I’m an introvert or because I just feel comfortable not being surrounded by people, but I’ve always found alone time to be so therapeutic for me. I just need time just for myself so I can think clearly and reflect.

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

  41. I’m not at a stage where I feel totally comfortable being alone. I’ll spend time alone at home but will not go anywhere alone,my anxiety is too bad atm xxx

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