* TRIGGER WARNING * ad collaborative post // Relationships don’t become abusive; they start out that way. Unfortunately, we don’t always see the signs for what they and mistake them for the first flush of true love. Tactics are less severe before a relationship gets serious as there is no commitment, so it is easier for the potential victim to walk away. Here are some early warning signs that a relationship could become abusive in the future.
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Intensity
Planning elaborate dates make them harder to say no to so beware if your new partner has got a lot of big plans for the two of you. This could include expensive meals or vacations. You may start to feel pressured into a level of intimacy you don’t really feel.
Constant Contact
If your new partner wants to get in contact with you several times a day, it can feel flattering at first. However, they could be using all this contact to control you and make sure they know where you are all the time. If they panic or rage when they can’t contact you immediately, this can be a bad sign. Read this guide to the stages of domestic violence if you want a greater insight into the future of an abusive relationship.
Jealousy
Jealousy does not come from a place of love but from a place of anger. This can also be used to control you. For example, if your new partner does not like you chatting to male friends or gets angry when you order a drink from a male barman, you should walk away.
Commitment
Talk of marriage or starting a family together can be wonderfully romantic. However, if this happens very early in a relationship and it makes you want to apply the brakes, then this is a sign of a controlling partner. They need a commitment from you to make it harder for you to walk away from the relationship once it turns violent. Be very careful about the person who offers commitment too quickly and say no if things seem to be moving too fast.
Road Rage
A good indicator for the potential to be abusive is how they behave on the road. Road rage isn’t really about driving but how the driver reacts to a perceived personal afront. It is a good indication of how they might respond if you do something they object to.
Isolation
This can be a gradual experience. Often, they will find a reason to pick fault with your friends or family and insist that you cut them out of your life. This will leave you feeling isolated and more at their mercy.
Turning Up Unannounced
It can be a wonderful surprise if your new partner suddenly shows up when you are out with your friends or colleagues. However, this can also be a sign of pathological jealousy. If it keeps happening, they may have crossed the line into stalking.
If your new partner is displaying signs of one or more of these characteristics, then warning bells should be ringing in your head. It might be time to walk away while you still can.
