What I’ve Learnt In the Past Few Months

It’s been a funny sorta few months. At the beginning of September, I turned 23 and with a birthday brings a lot of promise of new starts, new adventures, goals and things to work towards now that you’re a year older and seemingly a year wiser. A realisation that now is the best time to get your act together and that life will only move onwards and upwards from here on out. This didn’t happen for me. In fact, the complete opposite did.

what ive learnt

I’m not sure what happened really. But over the past few months, emotions have been high. High as a kite. Hormones have been running wild with bells and freaking whistles on them and I’m not ashamed to say at times, I found it extremely difficult to hold it together. But anyway, this isn’t a post to gain sympathy or make you feel sorry for me, I actually wanted to share some things I’ve learnt in the past few months. Things I’ve come to realise now looking back in hindsight.

  1. More often than not, thing won’t be as bad as you think they’re going to be. If you’d stop trying to predict the future you’d realise this. You ain’t Derren freaking Brown.
  2. Sometimes, it’s crucial that you take care of yourself first. It’s okay to put your needs first sometimes, it ain’t a crime. Have a bath, lock yourself away from the world for an hour, get dressed up even though you’ve got nowhere to go. Do whatever you gotta do.
  3. It’s not embarrassing to admit you may need help. And people are more understanding than you might originally think. Talking to people; mum, dad, best friend, partner, counsellor may just be the best decision you make that day.
  4. Time moves in mysterious ways. If you spend 3 hours watching the clock, it’s going to feel like you’ve spent 3 hours watching the clock. Be productive and get shit done.
  5. Other people have emotions too. That chances are, you know nothing about. It’s not just you that has worries, doubts and fears ya’no.
  6. People move at different paces. Just because you’re 23 and have no fucking idea what you’re doing doesn’t make you a lesser person.
  7. Don’t lose yourself in someone else. This is so easy to do but don’t lose your voice, your passion and your hobbies because you’re so caught up in someone else’s. If they get on with their life everyday, so should you.
  8. There are other things going on in the world than your trivial worries. But that doesn’t make your worries any less important to you. Never think your problems don’t matter, because they do. But always look at the bigger picture and see if there’s anything you can do to help the greater good.
  9. Friends are important. So so so very important. But sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight of that fact when you have so much going on. Never ever take your friends for granted and always make time for them. Always.
  10. There’s always a quote that sums up how you feel. Which proves that your thoughts, feelings and emotions are universal. Take that fact and allow it to make you feel united with the world, rather than isolated from it.
  11. Life goes on. No matter how you feel now, there will come a time – maybe soon, maybe a little further in the future – where you won’t feel like this. Things will always get better. There are good bloody times to come and some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet. Always remember that.

This wasn’t really a ‘help’ post, but I hope you who is reading it is able to take something from what I’ve learnt over the past few months. I’d love to know some of your own little things you like to remind yourself when things are tough. Hindsight is a funny thing eh?

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24 thoughts on “What I’ve Learnt In the Past Few Months

  1. Ah yes. Life is what happens while you are making other plans. (neither original nor profound).

    or, to put it more succinctly

    Shit Happens!!

    Some nice comments in your post.

    “Mindfulness” is terribly trendy these days. To me (boring old fart) it largely seems to consist of what we used to call “Good Manners”.
    There ARE other people around, and they do have their own worries and concerns, which are, to them, just as valid as yours are to you. it’s good if we remember that and try to be kind with people when we deal with them. Maybe THEY are having a really shit day too.

    BUT

    Do make time for yourself. If you do try to solve the problems of the world, and neglect your own, this would NOT be a good thing.

    I’m an agnostic these days, but the Quakers had it right.

    “Do no harm, and respect others.”

    Have a nice day now!!

    John

    • Haha thanks for the advice John! I’ve tried a bit of mindfulness myself before; found it very difficult though and I suppose you are right – in a way, it basically is just tuning in to everything else and looking outside of yourself. Shit definitely does happen haha! (:

  2. Oh Jen! Hope you’re okay lovely. I know how you feel but it’s completely normal! I’m actually going to be writing a similar post that will to live next March. I know a long time to wait but it’ll be worth it. 23 is a weird age (I turn 23 on 9th January). Good post to come back to if someone is feelin down – definitely always a quote for every emotion, feeling and situation. Rhianne xo.

    • I’m all good lovely! I know, it’s totally normal for everyone to have periods of stress and emotions – it sucks but that’s life! 23 is a weird age – someone said to me on Twitter that 23 is a clueless age and they’re not wrong!!! I love a good quote; I love finding that one that sums everything up perfectly and you can just breathe a sigh of relief! (: xx

  3. This world of ours is getting more and more stressful every day, and as selfish as it may seem to some, I have decided to think about myself first and foremost. I have been trying to eliminate or reduce stressful aspects of my life and do what makes ME happy and relaxed (not everyone else) because if I am not happy and healthy then I can’t have a positive effect on the people around me :). So, as a result, I have been reading every opportunity I get and going to book events in my area because those are the things that put a smile on my face (welll, besides my family that is).

    • I don’t think that’s selfish at all! That’s a very healthy thing to do and it’s so important not to live and do things just because it makes others happy. I completely agree with you (: Although it is easier said than done sometimes! I need to head to more book events definitely! (: xx

      • The one I just went to last week (Read for the Cure) was perfect because it both made me happy and helped others because the money went to cancer research. It was a fabulous event! One of the authors we got to meet was Paula Hawkins who wrote The Girl on the Train :).

  4. Hi Jenny, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been a bit wobbly. Are you feeling a bit better now, or maybe just coping better? I fully empathise. I put myself in a situation in September where I feel totally isolated and alone and i’m not sure what to do. People are expecting things of me and I can’t feel I can go and quit. I’m going to have a find a solution within the next few months so send me some positive vibes!

    If it makes you feel any better about turning 23 and having no clue as to what you want to do, I think most people fall into a job, they don’t necessarily choose that path. All this choice we have isn’t always good thing I find! I’m 28 and I thought i’d found something I wanted to study for to be but now i’m not so sure I want to do this for the rest of my life. That sounds really twattish I know considering how little some people in the world have, but I can’t help it.

    You saw the F1 highlights last night? They interviewed Lewis at the end and something he said stood out to me. He said ‘The only person stopping you, is you’ Granted that might not be very helpful if you are applying it to life goals you don’t know of yet, but I think it’s a very good quote to remember in general!

    I may have just taken up your lunch hour in you reading this comment so apologies for that! By the way I couldn’t get this post to load on bloglovin – may be fixed by now though?

    Amy x (www.amynmore.co.uk)

    • Hi Amy – I’m feeling a bit better now thank you. It’ll always be an ongoing thing I think but right now I’m doing good. Getting back into blogging has helped loads – it’s so nice to be back! I’m really sorry to hear you’ve been through a rubbish situation – I won’t ask but if you ever need to chat, you know where I am! Sending you lots of positive vibes. 23 is such a rubbish age; literally it’s just a clueless age. It’s not just job wise either it’s everything! Lately I’ve been wondering whether I’d like to do an Open University course but then I’m thinking ‘what in?’ ‘will it be worth it?’ All the questions start coming and I’m back to square one again haha! I might just wing this next year and sort my life out when I’m 24 instead hehe. I did see the highlights- what a great race!!! So exciting 😀 I did hear what Lewis said and although I’m not a massive fan, I do agree with him. It’s very apt right now. You are the queen of comments! I have no idea what this wasn’t working on bloglovin- TBH I rarely use it! Eek xx

  5. Jenny this was wonderful. I’ve definitely come to realise most of these things since graduating from high-school just recently a few days ago. Especially the importance of friends. I also noticed that these past couple of months have been full of high running emotions! It’s definitely been a challenge for me lately too!

  6. I love the point that since there are quotes out there for just about everything it means that someone else is going through it. Hope that you feel better, I won’t try to give you advice because different things work for different people and such and I’m 35 and can still find things difficult. Beyond amazing post that will help so many people. Well done and take care, you’re amazing and inspirational x

    • Thank you SO much, this comment has completely made my day! I’m so glad you liked the post and the point about quotes – I think that’s why I love quotes so much, because they’re so universal. I’ve always been a quote freak! :’D xx

  7. This list is great! I especially agree with the “take care for yourself” thing. Sometimes, people want to help everyone with their problems, that they forget to take care for themselves and end up with a pile of work, not enough sleep or other worries and then don’t ask for help … that’s a pretty bad thing.

  8. Hi gorgeous

    This is an amazing post and a great help for others, I’m sure.
    I especially love the quote part and I totally agree. Hope you’re doing better now, you know I’m always here, if you wanna talk ❤ xxxx

  9. It took me far too many years to realize the importance of #2. If you don’t take care of YOU, who is going to take care of anyone else? Life is what we put into it, what we get out of it is the prize or the punishment, I’ve found at least.

    I hope you know that you are an amazing woman who brings insight and fun to others. I wish you well.

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