I love a to-do list. I love to-do lists more than life itself. And apart from when I’m on holiday, I don’t think I’ve got through a single day in the last 2 years without working from a to-do list. I am a super organised person and I thrive off of it; the thought of waking up and just going about your day terrifies me. What if I forget something? What if I’m not getting my priorities straight? I am your straight up, stereotypical Type A personality and whilst that’s great and all and I get a shit load done on a daily basis it definitely has it’s downsides. To-do lists are amazing but recently, I’ve been noticing downsides.
I said on Twitter last month that I wanted to start doing more personal posts on my blog; I kicked off this months selection of posts with probably the most personal post I’ve ever written and you know what? It felt good. It was scary. But it felt good having written it. This is my space on the internet after all – nobody else’s. Why can’t I talk about my private life, my personal problems and my own experiences?
This ain’t gonna be a fun post so if you’re not into that sorta thing then I’ll save you the trouble and recommend finding another blog to read and I’ll also quickly mention that this post is going to feature talk on self-image, self-confidence (or there lack of) and body dysmorphia so trigger warnings for any of those topics for anyone who is affected by them and would rather not read on, that’s cool, anyway, let’s get this over with.
Just to clarify before we get into it, the girl in the photo is me not just some random kid. And look how goddamn cute I was! I came home from a trip away to my boyfriend’s parents house “up norf” and saw this photo sitting in my parents bedroom. First of all, the frame is actually mine so I’m not so happy that my mum stole it but I thought it was cute nevertheless. I was looking at the photo whilst listening to Lea Michele’s version of “Wake Me Up” by Avicii (it’s a beautiful cover, you have to listen!) and all of a sudden I started crying. I know it sounds like I’m making this up but I’m not, genuinely, started to cry. For reals.
Not everyone wants to jump out of a plane, dive to the deepest depths of the ocean or travel to the other side of the world with only a backpack for company. And whilst I admire those that do do all those things, I also have respect for those who don’t. There’s always this notion that in order to really ‘live’ you need to see the world, try something new every day or do things that scare you to push you out of your comfort zone. I know a lot of people thrive on these things and if that’s you, then go for it! But I also know people who prefer quieter lives, filled with stability and certainty and I don’t believe these people are any less ‘living’ than those who wake up in a new place every couple of months.
If you follow me on Twitter (which you totally should be btw, I’m hilarious…), you may have seen my mini rant about a comment I read regarding social media. Before I continue, this comment was made by a random person I don’t know on someone else’s Facebook, so I’m not going behind anyone’s back by talking about what they said. Anyway, what they said was this, ‘I’m no good at social media because I’m rubbish at faking life’. Whatever context they actually meant this in, I don’t know and I’ll never find out but it’s no secret that lots and lots of people all over the social media-sphere share this view. You might be one of them.
Shit is about to get real deep and personal. It took me over 4 minutes to get a pancake out of the toaster earlier today which led me to this post. Well, that and an article I stumbled upon about people’s dying regrets. I wanna talk about regret and how I feel, particularly with my age group, that the notion that we must not regret anything has been hammered into our brains since before I can remember. Or maybe it’s just me? I don’t know. How we ‘must not regret anything because at the time, it was exactly what we wanted’. I’ll give you a tenner if you haven’t heard that quote or seen it on some pretentious Tumblr picture. Well I call bullshit.
Life moves and works in weird and sometimes wonderfully mysterious ways and although we shouldn’t, the majority of us will look back at a better, happier or simpler time and think about the could haves, would haves and should haves of the past. I am thankful that I had a rich, fun and bright childhood and teenage years. I had more fun than I ever thought I would and experienced some wonderful things. But, like everyone, I made mistakes and had to endure the bad with the good. Looking at different aspects of my life, I’m thinking about what I would say to my little, naïve, 13, 16 and 18 year-old self.
And decided to channel that irritation in a healthy way… Into a blog post. About all the things that irritate me. I struggled a bit at first – I got up to number 3 and couldn’t think of anything else. I assumed I must be a lovely person who see’s the good in everyone and doesn’t ever get annoyed about anything ever. But then inspiration struck me and I was worried if I didn’t stop at 20, I’d never stop at all.
- When people come into your room then leave the door open. Mum, dad, dog, whoever, just stop.
- “I love Harry Potter”, “Oh cool, me too!”, “Yes but I’m the bigger fan”. How fucking old are you? (someone actually said this to me once)
- When people can’t understand that not everyone hates the cold… Yes, it’s minus 1 and my window is open. Where’s my medal?
- And those people that feel the need to repeat the fact that it’s cold a million times a day. Saying it’s freezing over and over and over again isn’t going to make you any warmer.
- Drafts. As in… The breeze from under a door and when peeps are like, “CLOSE THAT DOOR AFTER 0.0004 SECONDS YOU’RE LETTING A DRAFT IN”, Okay, but did you die?
- Being continuously asked questions whilst watching a film… We’re both watching the same film for the very first time, I don’t know any more than you do so shhhhhh before I punch you.
- “There’s no space in your bedroom, you should get rid of your bookcase,” and you should remove yourself from my life you absolute lunatic.
- “Aren’t you a bit old for Disney/fairy tales/comic books?” Aren’t you a bit old to make those sort of judgements?
- When people seem to think it’s a crime that you don’t like the same things as them. James Bond? Couldn’t give a shit. Indian food? Hate it. *looks out window* Yep… The Earth is still turning, birds are still singing, sun is still shining. Can we move on now?
- Being told to, “get a grip” because you’re sad when one of your favourite celebrities die. You cold-hearted little sod.
- “You should be going to clubs and getting drunk!” Oh am I? Sorry, I must have missed the 20-25 years part of the life manual when I was born. I’ll get right on that.
- On that note, when you just have to have a drink because it’s Christmas. Have I? Because here I am, on Christmas Day, rolling around in chocolate and my new elephant socks perfectly content without one.
- *Offers a different opinion to someone else*, “Oh my god you’re such a bully!” Woah, back up a minute sunshine, I hardly tried to stick your head down a toilet did I?
- Food snobs. You don’t eat bread, meat, fish, frozen food, processed food, tinned food or anything that’s come out of an animal? Great, good for you – I honestly do envy people who live such a healthy lifestyle and enjoy it but I’m on my way to McDonald’s right now and you won’t make me feel bad about it.
- Book snobs. “Oh so you read chick-lit? What’s that then, something light and fluffy for your commute? I’ve just finished the entire works of Charles Dickens myself.” What? Seriously what.
- Travel snobs. “You have to travel. Oh you just HAVE to. Your life won’t be complete unless you travel. You completely find yourself when you travel. Travel is what brings out the best in you. You can’t begin to understand life unless you travel”. Have you ever considered that some people erm, might not want to? (FYI, I would like to travel somewhere, some day but I’d never force someone into thinking that’s what they need to do)
- “You throw like a girl” Oh, look at you, all observant and stuff. Did the boobs give it away? Or is it these giant ass heels I’m going to kick you with?
- “Why do you like Formula 1? It’s just cars going round and round in circles.” Why do I like reading as well? It’s just words on a page. Or why do I like cooking? It’s just putting food in a pot. Or why do I like blogging? It’s just tapping keys on a laptop. It’s like everything we do or like is made up of someone doing something. Funny that.
- Automated Direct Messages on Twitter. Seriously why are they still a thing? Has anyone ever honestly paid attention to one?
- People who unnecessarily arse around. When everyone’s ready to leave and half an hour later you’re still standing by the front door tapping your foot. These are the same people who can’t make decisions if their life depended on it. How do you get anything done?!
Go on then… What irritates you? Let it all out!
Some of these points were exaggerated for entertainment purposes. Although I agree with all the points I made, I do hope I haven't offended someone in the process. If I have, I do apologise but my only intention was a funny, light-hearted post that I hope most of you can relate to.
Blurb: Well hello to you dear book browser. So, here’s the thing: it is just me or does anyone else find that adulthood offers no refuge from the unexpected horrors, peculiar lack of physical coordination and sometimes unexplained nudity that accompanies childhood and adolescence? I am proud to say I have a wealth of awkward experiences and here I offer my 18-year-old self (and you too dear reader) some much needed caution and guidance. Let’s call it, because it’s fun, a Miran-ual. I thank you. Continue reading