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It’s Okay To Admit Defeat

Prepare yourself for a long, word-vomit type post. If that’s not your thing and you’d rather something more concrete then no biggie, maybe try my discussion about whether blog views mean anything without engagement or the 6 women who are a huge inspiration to me right now. But if you don’t mind a bit of word-vomit (that’s rank) then welcome. Grab a cuppa, a cake, a roast dinner – whatever floats your boat today and settle in.

Back in about mid March, I had a bit of a… I don’t want to say melt down because it certainly wasn’t a melt down and it feels a little disrespectful to call it that but I had a… wobble. Let’s say. I didn’t have a bad month last month. Personally, it was good. Blogging wise, it was good. Everything went along just tickedy-boo.

But for some reason, mid month I got hit with this giant wave of self doubt, hopelessness and feelings of wondering what the point of blogging and this “online world” was, whether if I jacked this all in today would literally anyone on the planet even notice?

A couple of stupid, insignificant things triggered this, including my views being a little down than normal – which is a ridiculous thing to get in a state about for a variety of reasons – but once I got those thoughts in my head, they were seriously hard to shift.

I knew deep down in my heart that I wasn’t going to jack it all in, despite how melodramatic I was being on Twitter. I love blogging so much that a little blip on my radar wouldn’t deter me from it. There are times where I wonder whether I’m enough, whether I’m good enough, whether I’m offering anything of value to the world. But I think those are pretty normal thoughts.

However, one main thing that I thought about when this was going on was the prospect of giving up and even though I knew I wouldn’t, it made me think about how ‘giving up’ is always seen as such a bad and negative thing. That if we give up, we’ve failed, we’ve let ourselves down, we’re lazy or something else equally as shit.

Which led me to think about how it’s okay to admit defeat. It’s okay to draw a line under something when it’s not working. It’s okay to walk away from something. Despite what all the “inspirational” Pinterest quotes might say, it’s OKAY TO GIVE UP.

I’m all for positivity and encouragement and cheering people on to go and achieve their dreams. But I’m also all for supporting someone who has just given up on their dream when it became too much. Admitting defeat isn’t embarrassing or humiliating. I think sometimes, it’s the strongest damn thing you can ever do.

We all want to hold on to things; relationships, friendships, jobs, goals, dreams. But knowing when to let go is a privilege. A teeny-weeny example of this was last month, a goal of mine was to hit 10,000 page views which by 29th March I realised I wasn’t going to do. I was bummed but I gave up trying and focused on something else instead.

I’m going to wrap this up because I don’t really know what else to say (see, I’m giving up on this blog post already, not a big deal is it?) but the next time you’re scrolling through Pinterest and are bombarded with quotes telling you that you must chase your dreams and must never give up and you feel completely deflated from it, just close the app and have a cake. Seriously, it’ll make you feel better.

Have you ever given up with something important in your life? Do you feel like there’s too much pressure on ‘never giving up’ and the negative connotations that come with it?

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  1. I find admitting defeat sometimes is the first step to opening a ew door, took me a lot of years to learn that!! Great read, enjoy the weekend!!

    1. Absolutely!

  2. I totally understand where your coming. Life brings us ups and downs and sometimes you feel like you cant keep going. But we have too. You will be just fine I believe ❤

    1. But we don’t HAVE to. That’s my point 🙂 If you’re powering through something which isn’t right for you, it’s totally okay to give up on it.

      1. Ok I agree with that. If it doesnt bring you joy then yeah. But I don’t think that would be giving up. Realizing something isn’t right for you. I rather call it change.

      2. That’s fair enough, whatever you call it 😌 I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with the phrase “giving up”. It’s got such negative connotations.

      3. Me neither especially if a situation is hurtful. Like giving up on a hurtful relationship

  3. I just discovered your blog and I love it so!

    I am now carrying the result of sticking to a degree that I do not like just because I wasn’t one to give up. It is hard to give up 2 years of preparation, 6 of schooling, thousands over thousands of euros invested, time and sleepless nights ( my case) but if that makes you dread your life it is not worth it. So probably my comment is more addressed to those who did not give up at the right time and should be read as an encouragement to try and find something you like and either go full time with that or try to balance it out. Do not let bad decision take over your life and yes, if the case be, accept that the road you’re on may just not be the one for you and it is OK to change it 🙂 – you caught me in a sensitive moment so I took the liberty to throw my own word-vomit in the comment section hahaha-.

    1. Haha that’s fine, I love a word vomit comment 😌 Thank you for sharing x

  4. I always take admitting defeat really hard even when it’s the right thing to do. I know this is small but I get this a lot if I can’t finish a run or don’t think I’ll be race ready because of illness or injury and it’s so silly! Love your outlook on this! x


    1. I totally understand. I used to get like that if I couldn’t finish a yoga practice for whatever reason but now I just accept that I’m not feeling it that day and try again tomorrow 😌

  5. It’s a massive strength to know when to move on from things. Don’t think of it as ‘giving up’ but moving on to something else. x

    1. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting you’ve given up and using those words but it’s comforting to know that better things are coming x

  6. It is not a negative thing if it is the right decision for you at the time x

    1. Definitely x

  7. I totally agree with you, I think it shouldn’t be seen as a negative thing to give up on something, not for everything anyway. I think for me I try not to give up on things because I’d like to see if I can keep going with it, but if it gets to the point that its making me very unhappy then I wouldn’t want to force myself to keep going if it’s just going to make me feel down all the time. I think we all know in ourselves when enough is enough and of course, it’s very important to look after our mental well being. Great post, it’s good to talk about these kind of topics!

    Chloe xx

    1. Totally agree with everything you’ve said <3

  8. I’d have to give up on a lot things – people, goals, travel, ideas…

    But I like to think that in letting those things go, I’m giving myself room for other things that might serve me better or bring me more happiness.

    1. I agree, sometimes giving something up now clears the way for something better to come along in the future.

  9. Deborah Bowers says:

    Hello, Jenny in Neverland. It’s interesting to read your post. My husband, who is 71 years of age, just lost his second job in one year, because of slowing down after 50 years of doing the work in various places with various organizations. So, he’s been forced to stop, to give up, to shift gears or simply glide for a time.
    I would love to learn from you about how to build my own blog, which I just realized I haven’t attended to in a few days. I’m 56, soon to be 57 and trying to learn a new skill, this blogging thing.
    Thanks for your post about stopping an activity when you realize it’s too much. I feel validated and it isn’t even me. I stop stuff just fine a lot. So many unfinished projects, but who cares? Life distracts us.

  10. Sarah says:

    I’m always doubting myself 🙁 it’s horrible xx

    1. Sorry to hear that x

  11. I have never had as much self doubt as since I became a blogger and author. I think it’s because it’s not feasible to be consistent all the time and r he setting of both writing and blogging, just you and a computer, is so solitary. I go through ups and downs and if I graphed them they’d look like a rollercoaster! Great post because it is totally okay and sometimes necessary too for your head not to explode!!! We’d all miss Jennyinnecerland, Jenny, you’re one of the first blogs I followed, and I still remember how you changed my life with your phone call post, as I honestly thought I was the only person who got nervous ringing people. You’re epic X

    1. Oh I think our industry ha those feelings more than most! We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others too, which doesn’t help. And awh im so glad that post helped so much! Thankfully I don’t have that problem anymore – haven’t for a long time but I know it’s something others do struggle with a bit!

  12. I had this feeling a lot especially when I dont goals accomplish my goals. Taking breaks helps But sometimes we have to admit failure and move on.

    1. Totally true

  13. Victoria Austin says:

    If I feel something isn’t working out, I press the stop button, I always have. I think it’s better to stop something that isn’t right so you can re-assess and go a different route rather than go on regardless. I’m glad you’ve not quit blogging though, thanks for sharing. xx

    1. I’m glad you’ve always had that mentality 😌

  14. I’m terrible with things like this. Life, work, books! xx

    1. Books is a hard one!

  15. I think it’s crucial to know when to give up on something. If it’s not bringing you any happiness and is making you feel awful, then it’s time to just give up and let go.We can struggle too long with things because we don’t want to admit defeat or failure. I think it’s just being sensible and taking care of our mental health knowing when enough is really enough and it’s time to move on. 🙂 x

    Sarah 🌺 || Boxnip || Latest Post

    1. Totally agree 😌

  16. I prefer to say ‘letting go’ instead of giving up 🙂 I gave up on projects I had, and it led me to where I am today. My life is not pink and gold, but without giving up on those previous things, I wouldn’t have discovered blogging, made career changes, and met one of my closest friend. Giving up can mean opening a new chapter, and it takes strength to realise you should, take the step, and walk another path. Great post

    1. Fair enough! I think there’s a huge stigma around the notion of “giving up”, I don’t think we should be scared to just admit we’ve given up. And I’m in a similar boat really, everything I’ve given up on in the past has led me to where I am!

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