I love a to-do list. I love to-do lists more than life itself. And apart from when I’m on holiday, I don’t think I’ve got through a single day in the last 2 years without working from a to-do list. I am a super organised person and I thrive off of it; the thought of waking up and just going about your day terrifies me. What if I forget something? What if I’m not getting my priorities straight? I am your straight up, stereotypical Type A personality and whilst that’s great and all and I get a shit load done on a daily basis it definitely has it’s downsides. To-do lists are amazing but recently, I’ve been noticing downsides.
I always put things for me on my to-do lists. Catch up on YouTuber’s I love, read some of my book, walk the dog etc. to remind myself that I need to make some time to chill throughout the day and do some nice, relaxing things that wind me down otherwise chances are I’m going to be on frantic work-mode and highly strung all day long. I work from home and for myself so my income, my progression, my everything depends on me and I don’t have the luxury of “taking it easy” every once in a while.
And whilst putting things for me on my to-do list is all very well and good, lately, I’ve been noticing a change. I recently bought some art supplies as when I was in school, I loved art . I loved drawing and painting and I really want to get back into it again. I bought a sketchbook, coloured pencils, paint brushes and watercolours and I’ve made a start on building up my first sketch book. And it’s great. I love it. I don’t get an awful lot of time to do it though so…. I’ve been adding it to my to-do list. “Do some art” or “do some drawing“, something like that.
However, ever single time it’s been on my to-so list, I’ve never done it. Never. But when it’s not been, I’ve just picked up my book because I fancied doodling for half an hour or so and I’ve really enjoyed it. I’m unintentionally turning things I love, things that should be enjoyable, things that should be hobbies and “downtime“, into chores. Into work. Into something I’m forcing myself to do not because I want to… But because it’s on that God damn to-do list.