A surprising new trend for women has emerged and it’s all about loving and appreciating yourself. It’s the rise of the self-love ring; a ring symbolizing a lifelong commitment to your own happiness. Some women have even taken their newfound appreciation for themselves to the next level – with a solo wedding! This practice, known as sologamy, is said by its supporters to affirm one’s own value, leading to a happier and more fulfilling life. We’ve teamed up with Angelic Diamonds, retailers of bespoke diamond rings, to take a closer look at this emerging trend and how women are celebrating themselves in the modern age.
Where did this practice originate?
“Hi. It’s Carrie Bradshaw. I wanted to let you know that I’m getting married. To myself.”
Sologamy has been in existence for some time now, fans of Sex and the City will remember the episode where main character Carrie Bradshaw decides to marry herself as the ultimate act of self-care. British photographer Grace Gelder famously married herself in 2014, but it wasn’t until 2016 that the popularity of the self-love ring really took off, with many women heading to the jewelry store to cement their commitment to themselves. It isn’t known what exactly sparked the trend to take off, but it could be due to a combination of these things:
Celebrity influence has encouraged women to love themselves too. A number of famous stars have opened up about the tough times in their lives and how they’ve learned to appreciate themselves. Others have asked magazines and photographers to leave their photographs unedited so that women can see them as they are without airbrushing.
There has been a rise in the practices of mindfulness and meditation – taking time out of a busy day to connect with yourself. Studies have shown that this can reduce anxiety, stress and depression.
The popularity of social media platforms such as Instagram and Snapchat have played a role in encouraging women to celebrate themselves. Although perfect summer beach bodies aren’t always what we want to see on our news feeds, many women have started posting photos of their natural selves and have encouraged others to follow suit -for example, the ‘no makeup selfie’ trend. A number of celebrities participated in this trend, telling women to embrace their natural state. In general, the culture of taking selfies encourages women to celebrate themselves, as they post photos in exchange for ‘likes’ and comments. Additionally, more and more celebrities have been celebrating their body insecurities as a normal part of themselves.
Self-love rings explained
Some people have referred to self-love rings as the ‘anti-engagement’ ring, but that isn’t what they’re about. They are meant to be a symbol of a person’s dedication and commitment to oneself, a promise that you’ll look after your own well-being and always put yourself first.
Those who practice sologamy or self-love have said that when you dedicate love to yourself, you change the way that you behave in everyday life, which can have a positive effect on all of your relationships as you are no longer relying on anyone else to bring you happiness.
Some women have purchased self-love rings along with their best friends, to focus on the importance of friendship, making a pledge that you will both always love yourselves.
For some women, a self-love ring is only the first step – many have chosen to take the concept even further with a solo wedding ceremony. It’s thought that the first sologamous wedding took place in 1993, when an American woman, Linda Barker, married herself surrounded by her close friends and family.
Although self-marriage is not legally binding (you won’t be able to change your marital status, claim legal fees or divorce yourself), it is a celebration and can be carried out just like a normal wedding – with vows, decorations and a cake! For the moment, it seems as though more women are taking part in sologamous weddings than men, perhaps in protest against societal pressures to always be in a relationship.
When asked why women chose to marry themselves, some responses included:
“The wedding symbolized a deep act of self-acceptance, saying my commitments out loud in front of my closest friends and family solidified them.”
“It was a celebration of my commitment to my own health and happiness.”
“I’m saying to myself, “You don’t need to be treated badly. You don’t need to spend your life waiting for the one. You’re already the one.”
Solo weddings aren’t only for single women either – some of the women who have participated in a ceremony already have a husband or partner, but this was a day just for them! Off the back of this, the company I Married Me was created – offering wedding supplies for one-person ceremonies.
Proving to yourself that you are empowered and confident doesn’t have to come in the form of a ring. There are always little ways in which to show yourself some love – whether that means treating yourself to a spa day, the clothes you’ve had your eye on for a while or just investing some time in yourself for a change!
* This is a collaborative post