GIFTED | Ever since I can remember, I’ve suffered from low self esteem. It never stemmed from anywhere, really. No-one was mean to me in school. Nothing ever happened to trigger it. It just was. I’ve considered it a personality trait. Hi I’m Jenny, extremely organised, kinda funny and no self esteem. Nice to meet you. I’m 26 now and for years I’ve been experimenting with how to improve your confidence when you suffer from low self esteem.
If you want to read more about my horrible self esteem issues then I have a more detailed post here but for anyone who cba to read that (no offence taken), my self esteem issues started in my teens – unsurprisingly. I’ve always had mild body dysmorphia but it really hit me hard when I was 18.
It was before I went on holiday to Bulgaria with my friends and boyfriend and the time. I was going to the gym twice a day. Eating no more than 1,000 calories. Just because I was desperate to look better than my friends in a bikini. I know how awful that sounds. But my mind was utterly warped.
Then a few years later, my anxiety started. My weight went down. Then way up. And now at 26, I’m still not happy with the way I look, the way I am, the way I present myself and just generally everything about myself. But I’m definitely learning to be a bit kinder to myself as I continually look for ways to improve my confidence.
So here are some ways you can improve your confidence if you suffer from low self esteem, like me!
Unfollow people who make you feel bad about yourself
I’ve started doing this and not feeling guilty about it. Because you should never feel guilty about doing something which positively impacts your mental health. Social media is full of the “perfect” body. Perfectly toned, perfectly poses and perfectly edited bodies and faces. If this triggers you… unfollow them!
Treat yourself to something pretty – you deserve it!
I’ve never been someone to treat myself to much. There’s always a voice in my head saying that I don’t deserve it. Or it’s a waste of money. But if it makes you happy, makes you feel better or is something that will improve your confidence if you suffer with low self esteem – then it’s always, always, always worth it.
Introducing… Blush Atelier
And this is the perfect time to mention Blush Atelier, who kindly sent me these two gorgeous bras for review and I thought this would be the ideal post to feature them in. Blush Atelier produce French inspired lingerie for smaller busted Women (helloooo!) and here are the two stunning bralettes I was sent.
Ebony – £12.00
The Ebony bralette is a simple design but sophisticated and incredibly comfy. You almost can’t feel you’ve got anything on! It’s supportive enough (even if you have smaller boobs!) but also leaves the girls feeling really comfortable too. This design would be ideal for the Summer, when you want to wear as little as possible!
Ella – £14.00
I got a bit chicken with the photos with this one as it’s so sheer (forgive me, I tried my best) but the Ella bralette is super pretty. Look at the gorgeous detailing around the edges! This is definitely a saucier design however it’s just as comfortable and leaves you feeling GREAT. Like for someone with relatively small boobs, they looked fab in this bra.
If you fancy treating yourself to anything from the Blush Atelier website, use the code JENNY15 for 15% off your order!
Remind yourself of your good qualities
God, we’re so hard on ourselves aren’t we? Have someone ask us what we like about them and we could roll out 10 or so different things. But have someone ask us what we like about ourselves and we’re stumped. So in any way you feel comfortable, always remind yourself of your good qualities. Anything; big or small!
Don’t look at old photos of yourself if they make you feel bad
This applies mostly to those who like me, suffer with body / appearance related low self esteem. But as much as I love reminiscing, I’ve also learnt that until my self esteem is in a more stable place, there’s no point in me looking back at old photos of myself and coming away feeling terrible.
Find an outlet and something you love
For me, that’s blogging. And you have no idea how grateful I am to have found an outlet that not only do I love with all my heart but have also been able to build a career out of. I’ve finally found something I’m good at. And that’s a great feeling! Find yours, experiment, express yourself. It’s out there.
Make yourself a priority
No matter how low your self esteem is, you’re still worth being taken care of. Especially by yourself. So make yourself a priority. Treat yourself to a massage. Buy some new skincare. Do more exercise. Meditate. Whatever it is, do more of it and take as much care of yourself as you would for someone you love.
If you suffer from low self esteem, do any of these things help you? Do you have any other methods?
* Items in this post were gifted. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
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True I don’t suffer from low self esteem just confidence if I can achieve stuff like passing my driving test etc
This is a really good post! I love the idea of buying myself something to make me feel good. That’s something I want to start implementing. Things that help me is writing down how I feel and taking social media breaks. Great post 💜
Writing down how I feel really helps me too!
Great post! I think the unfollowing people is a big one. I have done much of this is the last year… it’s just about protecting your own feelings. If you it makes you feel bad you don’t need it in your life. I feel sorry for teens these days with all the pressures social media brings. Also remembering that most people only show you their best bits. I love to treat myself when my self esteem is low. New things always make you feel a bit fabulous 💕 x
All very valid points!
Those bras are so pretty, especially the blush one! 😀 I’ve always had low self esteem too. It’s hard to get yourself out of that way of thinking but not impossible. 🙂
Sarah 🌺 || Boxnip
It’s taken me a while but accepting myself will always be a journey and I’ll get there one day. The Ella is stunning and matching underwear always makes me feel good!
Jessica & James | http://www.foodandbaker.co.uk
I’m so glad you’re on that journey though 💛
As someone else who has also suffered with anxiety from a young age, I could really relate to what you wrote. And thanks for sharing some great tips too!
You’re welcome x
The bras are so pretty! I love new underwear xx
They sure are x
Wow you look great and I love the style! x
Thank you x
Jenny this post made me so happy! I suffer from low self-esteem too. I’m on a journey of appreciating my worth. I’m learning it’s ok to give myself compliments, it’s ok to think highly of myself. I’m letting go of past mistakes and turning them into miracles to becoming a better person. Thanks for sharing! O btw, you look fantastic in your bralets, super FLATTERING ❤️🙌🏾
Natonya | https://www.justnatonya.wordpress.com
Thank you so much!
Really great blog post darling, I love how honest you have been in it. 💜
With love, Alisha Valerie x | http://www.alishavalerie.com
Thank you x
After I had my daughter, my self-esteem dropped b/c my body changed so much, but I’m slowly learning to love myself again.
Buying new clothes & doing my makeup makes me feel better & blogging does too!
Karalee
Tales of Belle
Your body has done something amazing x
I have definitely suffered from low self esteem when it comes to the way I look but this is going to sound odd but getting tattooed has definitely helped x
Doesn’t sound odd at all! Tattoos are a great way of expression!
I suffer from low self-esteem as well. It’s like no matter how much I try i am back to sqaure one. Still trying though. Great tips and such pretty bralettes. 😍. Loved them. Sending love from India. Take care.
Oh same, I feel you!
Still improving my self-esteem but I am getting there. Unfollowing people who make you feel bad is a big one. That helped a lot for me.
And I love the bralette.
It works wonders that one and it’s SO simple and easy to do!
I can completely relate to this, I have 0 self esteem and self confidence, for the longest time I’ve just thought of myself as unworthy and I really don’t know why. I really really want to improve my self esteem as I think in a lot of ways its really holding me back in life, thank you for these tips ill definitely be giving them a go!
I hope they help you! I’m sorry to hear you feel that way. But I totally relate.
I love the honesty and growing confidence behind your words. Aside from the magnificent elegance of the bras, I absolutely love the color of your hair!
Unfollowing people who make you feel like dirt is such a good step in the right direction. I love people who are honest and relatable.
Awh thank you so much! My hair colour is actually one of the VERY FEW things I like about myself!
You are so welcome! I would love to have hair like yours; mine is just brown.
First of all, I’m SO proud that you felt comfortable enough to post those photos. And the bralettes look lovely! Secondly, I have awful self esteem issues and I have no idea where it came from as my body has never drastically changed in size. Treating yourself a little definitely helps! X
Sophie
http://www.glowsteady.co.uk
Thank you! Yeah mine never stemmed from anything either – it’s totally weird.
Oh these are so pretty! xx
Right!
This is very timely! Thanks for sharing 💜
https://jendbibliophile.wordpress.com
You’re welcome x
I was anorexic when I was 14 and have suffered from body dyspmorphia all my life. Personally, I wear sports bras all the time because they’re so comfortable but these bras are really pretty! I’ve weighed anywhere from 98 lbs when I was sick to 155 lbs at my highest weight in university. I have even kept some of my clothes I wore when I was anorexic….. I know I should get rid of them but I have a hard time parting with them.
I suggest taking a hiatus from Instagram. Even if you unfollow people and curate your feed so there’s nothing triggering, every so often something triggering still pops up. It’s impossible to avoid, so if social media is making you feel bad, you’ll feel better leaving the phone behind and spending time offline. WordPress doesn’t make me feel bad, hence why I choose to use it. I suggest taking a hiatus from social media for 6 months to a year (it sounds extreme but it takes time for the mind to adapt). It really helps!
Unfortunately as blogging is my job, taking a lengthy social media break isn’t an option for me! I rarely see anything on Instagram that upsets me now because I never look at the trending / popular page and I don’t follow anyone who makes me feel bad about myself anymore. So Instagram is a very safe space for me now 🙂
That’s good that you don’t look at the trending/popular page. We really have no business being there. I’m still dealing with strong negative emotions regarding following people who I feel obligated to follow, who make me feel badly about myself. I have to remind myself that I once friends with these people and they were closer to me years ago, but people change. We are merely acquaintances now if that (not even…) They aren’t the people I once knew and some of them really went downhill I think. Their feeds make me feel uncomfortable. I guess this is an internal struggle I still need to work on, and perhaps running away from social media completely isn’t the answer. Thank you Jenny for giving me a new perspective on things!! 💜💜💜
You’ve got some great advice here! Self confidence has always been a struggle for me throughout childhood, adolescence and into my adult life, but one that I continue to work on every day. I will definitely be putting some of these tips into practice!
Hope they help!
I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem. I think perhaps stemming from always being so different from my peers and “failing” at managing to assimilate and fit it.
I find it so difficult to think of my own good qualities.
I do try to be what I want to see on social media and only use unfiltered photos (and sweaty gym pics) but that is at least in part because I have no idea how to magic them like other people XD
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a few filters and a bit of editing. But some people do go overboard! I’d recommend the VSCO app, for an easy editing app!
I can relate to this post so much! I have always been shy and not very confident, I think low self esteem comes hand in hand with that. I’ve never really been confident in my body as I have always been slightly underweight for my height. I always think you feel so much better when you are wearing something that makes you feel good about yourself. These bras are so beautiful and I think they’d give me some body confidence!
Eve x
Sorry to hear you’ve struggled with the same things!
The bras are super pretty! I definitely feel like like I need to treat myself more and buy some cute things to help with my self esteem. My self-esteem has been pretty bad most of my life as well, I’ve only recently been brave enough to have my legs on show, that’s how unconfident I’ve been about my body. But I do try my hardest at a bit of self care to help me!
Chloe xx
http://www.chloechats.com
Self care can really help!
These are so pretty. It’s funny I stumbled across this post because I have been feeling so shit about myself recently. You know to the point where you think to yourself about how ‘uncool’ you are compared you others. I need to get myself some cute bras and own it 🙂
Laura / https://www.laustworld.com/
Well I’m glad you stumbled upon it at the right time!
Those bras are so pretty! I wish they did my size though!
Love, Amie ❤
The Curvaceous Vegan
Awh that’s a shame!
Great tips as always! 😊
Them bras are stunning! I’ve recently thrown all mine and bought ones without underwire as they really are so much comfier!
Love Lozza xo
http://girlygabble.com
They sure are! Hate it when the wire breaks and stabs you haha!
This is very relatable, with great tips! I’ve recently begun severing social media ties with accounts that make me feel bad rather than motivate, and it makes a ton of difference. Also, the lingerie is gorgeous! Love your photos.
It sure does and it’s such an easy way to help yourself. And thank you!
Those bralettes are gorgeous – especially the pink one!
And I’m all up for treating myself when I’m feeling down; as long as I don’t go overboard haha!
Oh yeah same! I hate spending money on myself so I rarely go overboard!
I’ve always suffered with low self esteem and am quick to point out my flaws. These are great suggestions and I think buying myself something pretty would definitely help lift myself up. Those bras are very pretty, especially the Ella bralette. I always find it difficult to find pretty bras in my size (I’m larger busted). Great post Jenny.
That’s a shame – I’m lucky in that most bras have my size, I’m very grateful for that!
Those bralettes are absolutely stunning! the lace is so delicate and pretty! love the pattern! i had never heard of this brand before. Self care and self love are so important. I am trying to move away from people that make me feel bad about myself
Absolutely. What’s the point in continuing to follow them otherwise?
I haven’t always had low self esteem but I have over the past few years and my body changed a bit but I’m learning to deal with that now. Even though those bras wouldn’t fit me and I’m more of a big busted girl they are so cute and I wish they did them in my size! X
It’s definitely hard to learn how to deal with your body when it changes for whatever reason!
Love, love, love this post, Jenny. Body confidence (and confidence generally) is something I struggle with a lot these days. I’ve put on nearly 2 stone since working from home and I don’t feel comfortable in my clothes. What I try to remember is that Alan and Flora both love me no matter what shape I am and at the end of the day, that’s what counts. These are such pretty bralets, and massive kudos to you for going so far out of your comfort zone, you look fabulous, your skin tone is amazing. Really wonderful post, thank you so much for writing this! xxx
Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com
That really is what counts. I’ve been the same since working from home – it’s within that time I’ve put on the most weight. Definitely something that needs to be addressed and talked about more I think. And thank you! I’ve always hated my skin colour so that’s a nice compliment : )
This post is much needed right now, thank you for sharing your tips Jenny! I feel like self confidence and self esteem are both areas I am always working on and I agree, making ourselves a priority is really important 🙂 Also, the bras are super cute and pretty! They sound perfect for the summer when we just want to wear something cool and comfortable. Lovely photos as always and brilliant suggestions, thank you for sharing <3 xxx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
Thank you! They’ve been great during the warmer days we’ve had recently 🙂
These bras are gorgeous! I really need to treat myself to some new ones soon. It always boosts my confidence and makes me feel a little better xx
Tiffany x http://www.foodandotherloves.co.uk
They’re so pretty x
I’ll admit that I am not in a good place self esteem wise and it’s really having such a huge effect on everything!
I’m going to try some of these.
That black bra in particular looks great and you can tell it’ll be really comfortable x
It really does affect a lot more than what people think!
These are gorgeous bras. I love how seamlessly you incorporated these gifted items into your blog post. As a fellow blogger I love to see how everyone else does collaborations.
Also, your post is great! I struggle with self image and self loathing a lot. Self-care and Self Love are part of my journey. And I appreciate your tips 🙂
These are so pretty x
They sure are x
These bras are so pretty! I always love getting myself a little something like this, but rarely do. My self esteem journey is similar to yours love, and I try every day to bring it that little bit higher. I love your suggestions, some of which I have never thought of. I’ll have to start implementing these changes 🙂
Hope they help!