2019 has hands down been one of the most transformative and most memorable years of my life. It certainly hasn’t been all sunshine and roses; we’ve had our fair share of sad or stressful moments throughout the last 12 months. But 2019 has taught me so much, more than any other year.
In 2019, I’ve seen fear. Grief. Happiness. Opportunity. Growth. Discovery. Vulnerability. And more strength than I’ve had in years. It’s been a tale of two halves. It’s been rock bottom and the highest peaks. It’s been light and dark. It’s been everything. It’s been lesson after lesson after lesson. Here’s some of them.
Not everything has to BE something
Man, this was a tough one for me to crack. As someone who’s a compulsive do-er, who likes to be productive 24/7 and always have something to show for it… yeah, this was one tough. But it’s an important lesson that 2019 taught me. Not everything has to BE something.
If you read a book, you don’t have to review it online. If you watch a film, you don’t have to start a debate about it on Twitter. If you have a hobby, you don’t HAVE to monetize it and make it a “thing”. You CAN just let things be, do things and enjoy things and they’re still as important and meaningful, even if you don’t share it online.
Stepping out of your comfort zone will change your life
It certainly changed mine. I spoke about my relationship with the comfort zone earlier in the year in this post. And in 2019, I stepped out of my comfort zone probably more than I have in the last 6 years combined. I feel better mentally than I’ve done in God knows how long and I really believe that opening my heart and my mind to new things has helped tenfold with that.
In July, I hit rock bottom again with my anxiety and my health anxiety. So I started medication which I’ve put off for years, thinking I didn’t REALLY need it and that I’d prefer to cope without it. I quickly learnt that medication is NOT the enemy and it’s opened up my world again. My life feels full for the first time in years.
Opportunities are around every corner
Since stepping out of my comfort zone more and working incredibly hard, I’ve found that opportunities are everywhere. Sometimes you have to look for them, sometimes you have to put yourself out there and sometimes they just find their way to you. But they are OUT THERE.
I’ve always been big on finding the opportunities in your life – the big, the small and everything in between. Everything is an opportunity if you allow it to be. And 2019 has certainly made me realise that more than ever. My Granddads funeral was an opportunity for me to test my strength. My book contract was an opportunity for me to show what I’m capable of. Everything. Is. Opportunity.
I am the writer of my own story – nobody else
And speaking of my book contract and opportunities – getting offered to have a book published was definitely one of the best things to happen to me this year. Knowing someone out there believes in my blog and what I have to say enough for them to put their trust, money and time in ME, is incredible.
And the experience I’ve had writing my book so far has been great – although it’s only in it’s first draft still, I’ve enjoyed every word. Going back over my journey of anxiety and self discovery in much finer detail has made me notice how far I’ve come and the process of writing my story has made me realise that I’M THE WRITER. Nobody else.
Quality time is everything
As I mentioned in point one, I’ve always struggled with being on the go 24/7 and wanting to be doing something productive ALL THE TIME. So much so that in the past, I’ve sacrificed quality time in order to do work or blog or check emails. It was ridiculous.
This year I’ve really learnt the value of quality time. Whether that’s with your partner, parents, family, friends or even with yourself. Going hand in hand with not everything having to BE something, sometimes it’s okay to just BE. Soak up the moment, with the people you love or with yourself. This quality down time is just as important as anything.
I am capable of anything
And finally, ending on a high note. 2019 has made me realise that I am SO BLOODY CAPABLE. I hit rock bottom with my anxiety in July. I went on medication which helped me tenfold. And since then, I’ve pushed myself further out of my comfort zone than I have done in years.
Anxiety controlled my life for so long. I felt useless. Incapable of basically everything. My world was getting smaller by the day. And I genuinely thought that was going to be my life forever. But it wasn’t. 2019 has taught me that. It showed me the way back to me.