AD // At the ripe old age of 29 now, kids are well and truly on my mind. For myself, I’m pretty sure I want children but I think the more open dialogue women are having now, like in this post from In the Frow about having a child-free future is incredibly helpful in allowing women (and couples) to decide whether they TRULY want kids for themselves, not just for societal norms.
And there’s absolutely no doubt that there’s some serious baby fever going around right now, so it’s not surprising that babies are on everyone’s minds! But dialogue around all aspects of parenting, without the judgment definitely needs to improve. When the time comes, it’s something I want to get right.
I follow a lot of bloggers, influencers and YouTuber’s, most of them women, who are pregnant or have children. So a lot of information, stories and anecdotes I hear are from that perspective. I rarely see a male influencers share the trials and tribulations, highs and lows of not just being a Dad but the pregnancy journey as well.
I’m really thrilled to be teaming up with DaddiLife for this collaboration today. DaddiLife are a dedicated safe place where dads can learn, grow and celebrate the life that is dad. They provide informative articles, media and a supportive community where Dad’s can come together. They’ve also just released their very first full book.
You’re Going To Be a Dad! The New Dad’s Guide To Pregnancy & the First Year of Fatherhood
Buy the book on Amazon UK here!
You’re Going To Be a Dad is a new Dad’s guide to pregnancy and the first year of childhood. This book is far more than just tiresome professionals textbook reading the do’s and don’ts of parenthood. This book contains real advice from real Dad’s and NO question is a silly question! DaddiLife have interviewed over 50 new Dad’s and Dads to be from around the world!
You’re Going To Be a Dad does however go into a more scientific – but readable – approach to things like pregnancy and the trimesters. It gives Dad’s the complete run-down on what’s going on with Mum and baby during the *roughly* 40 weeks of pregnancy, in a handy month by month breakdown.
The amount of information this book covers really is incredible and I know I would 100% want my partner to read this if/when I get pregnant. Because even as a Woman, we often can’t explain all the stuff that’s happening in our bodies.
Another element of this book that I love as well is the fact that it regularly checks in with you – the Dad. Although a large chunk is talking about what’s going on biologically with Mum and baby, the guide will gently check in with you throughout, ask how you’re doing in terms of emotions and give some kind encouragement that you’re doing just fine and everything is okay. They also covered important reflections for dads to be in a post covid world and what they’d do differently in any future restriction which will hopefully put many a new dad to be at ease.
This isn’t a tough-love kinda guide; it’s gentle and warm and made me chuckle in parts. I love the regular “Reflections From Our Dad’s” quotes that are scattered throughout of men all around the UK sharing quotes, advice and their struggles on different stages of pregnancy.
“I thought of the 9 months as a way to psychologically get myself into that place”. – Cole F. North, Carolina, US
“I didn’t believe pregnancy hormones were a big deal at first. Then my partner who never overreacts or gets overly emotional, starts crying after a minor little dispute on price whilst shopping. I was surprised, followed her out to help – she physically couldn’t stop crying! But an hour later we were laughing about it”. – Emmanuel V. Texas, US
“Not going to lie, those pregnancy pillows are really comfortable. My girlfriend uses it at night, but it’s perfect for chilling on the couch!” Emmanuel V. Texas, US
I spoke to some Dads online and asked them which pieces of advice they wish they knew before they had kids, here are some of the answers I got:
The Northern Dad: “When we had our first child, I wish, as a dad, I knew more about how and what I should expect regarding emotions and what do expect going forward. As a dad there is very little support for us during the pregnancy and after.
My advice for new dads or upcoming dads would be to join Dad Groups, speak to other dads and really communicate about how you feel. There’s many dads out their willing to offer and give support.”
Nutmegger Daily: “I was shocked to find out that people view babies as invitations. It started while my partner was pregnant and lasted until my daughter was walking. Relative or total strangers feeling entitled to touch my wife’s belly, pat my daughter’s head, and give me advice on parenting (most of which was garbage).
I wish I had known the way our personal space was going to be invaded. And people walking their dogs were the worst. Of course my month old daughter doesn’t want your mutt’s snout in her face. Why would you let the dog do that?”
Life With Jupiter & Dann: “The piece of advice that I wish I knew before I had kids was that every child is vastly different. I’ve had three children; they were incredibly different as babies, and they’re very different as they’ve aged too.
When people – be that professionals or friends – start offering advice there’s a danger that most of it won’t apply… don’t start ignoring it though, keep seeking out more advice and help.”
The Doubting Thomas: “What I wish I knew before I had kids was that for so much of it I’m going to feel a bit useless but that’s OK! During pregnancy there’s not much you can physically do but emotional support is key.
When your baby is newborn and developing they will more often than not want their Mum and sometimes I took that too personally, but Dads need to understand the importance of their own role and not get too hung on the fact they won’t necessarily be their kids favourite straight away!”
A Blokes Eye View: “So I’m a dad of two and there’s a 10 year gap between them, the advise I would of given my self would of been that I should not of expected my second child to be as plain sailing as our 1st My daughter was diagnosed with autism earlier this year but we knew from early that she was struggling with a lot of aspects growing up. She definitely keeps us on our toes.”
Emmett Naughton: “As a dad of 3 under 5, there will be times where I feel like I got nothing done. It gets stressful, but that bed time hug and the soft “I love you dad, goodnight.” Makes it all worth it.”
I loved checking out this book and speaking to these guys about parenthood, pregnancy and advice they wish they knew. I think You’re Going To Be a Dad is an amazing resource for new Dad’s, that gently guides them into the world of pregnancy, hormones, female bodies and birth in a way that’s easy to understand and interesting. This is definitely a book the world needs!
First time parents. First tri. So happy but I am seeking support lines for when we need. Will definitely recommend this to mypartner I am grateful
My youngest worked from home till his youngest turned four. He bonded with his children and was able to be supportive of his partner. Parenting doesn’t come naturally (although some are naturals at it). Parenting is a learning process for both mums and dads; a long, learn-as-you-go journey they should take together. Books can only take you so far. Experts won’t always agree and cultures and family dynamics have to be taken into consideration.
I’m a grandmother and have far more experience than my children do, but I don’t interfere unless asked because I notice they have their own parenting style, different even to each other but it works for them. Having said that, I never smacked my children and they’ve never smacked their children. I’m glad to see that I’ve passed that tradition on.
I remember when the mantra was that it takes a whole village to raise a child. I’ll add to that – begin with talking about expectations and hopes to each other beforehand. It might change and need adjusting as you go along but it’s a start.
[…] was recently sent this book to feature on my blog in my post First Time Dad’s: What They Wish They Knew. This book is a FANTASTIC resource for new Dad’s and I would highly recommend checking it out […]
OMG what a sweet book! I want kids in the future too and often think about my husband and what his thought will be haha So many resources are geared towards female so I love this! Thanks for sharing, Jenny x
This would be such a great resource for him in the future!
This is such a great way to get dads to be to understand what goes on during pregnancy. I think that there are not enough resources for them about this period, but they also need support and knowing what is going on at this time x
I totally agree – this is a fantastic resource!
I wish I had this for my husband while I was pregnant! I think he was super interested in what was happening to me and the baby, but didn’t have the information available to him. I know he’d have read this book and chatted with me about it. Thanks for sharing, this is so important.
That’s a shame!
Thank you for writing this post!
My partner struggled in the early days as much as I did. Both people are parents and there should be more awareness out there for dad’s. The dad bloggers I see on Twitter are changing things.
I love these quotes, especially the one about invading personal space. As quite private people, we really struggled with this one & I still don’t understand why people do this when you’re pregnant, or give unsolicited advice.
Thank you all for raising awareness. Being a parent is difficult and the right support is key.
I don’t understand why people think they can just get all up in your face (and belly) when you’re pregnant, it’s so weird?
This is a good book for dads, as the world has delegated the role of parenting to the women only. I a excited about this
Hope you enjoy it!
I can think of a number of dads who would have loved to get this when they became fathers for the first time. What a lovely idea for a book, and so well put together. Thanks for sharing this, I will keep it in mind as a gift.
It would make a fantastic gift for a new dad, for sure!
It’s so interesting to get their perspective!
It sure is!
This sounds great, I feel like there are a million resources out there for women but I see very few aimed at men. I think the idea of it coming from a range of real people makes it seem so much more relatable too!
For sure! It’s not just information that you’ll find on the NHS website haha
This is such a lovely book for all first time Dad’s! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
It sure is x
I love this post! I’m 100% certain that my boyfriend and I want kids one day in the future. There’s so much information online about pregnancy and motherhood, but not so much for Dad’s so I think it’s wonderful that a book like this exisits. I’d definitely wan’t my boyfriend to read this when we decide to become parents x
That’s great to hear, I’d want my boyfriend to do the same too x
I loved this, although I’m pretty certain I don’t want kids I love that there’s a post here for dads. From being 12 years old to when I moved out at 25 I lived with my dad and I’d love to see more stuff like this out there for dad and more open conversations for men about parenting.
I totally agree, they need to be part of the conversation more even if the conversation is around pregnancy and what’s happening to a woman’s body!
Thank you for giving me the chance to be involved! It’s great you’re putting so much time and effort into this book – of course there are wild differences between the journey of a Mum and Dad as new parents but also lots of similarities too. There’s some real good advice in this post but at the same time it’s always a massive learning curve!
You’re welcome, thanks so much for providing me a quote and getting involved!
This is such an amazing book, I know if and when I get pregnant, I’m defintiely going to get this for my husband!
It’s such an amazing resource for men!
Great to read about a resource for dads-to-be as well, especially as it’s done in a gently humorous way. Speaking as a mum, if any dads are reading this, carrying and birthing a tiny human is a life changing experience, so if we get a little tetchy from time to time, please bear with us while our hormones are thrown upside down and our bodies are no longer our own! Lovely post, Jenny xxx
Great advice! They talk a LOT about hormones and what’s changing and when in this book so I’d hope that dads would be more attuned to those moments where mum isn’t quite like herself because they understand more why!
This is such a great topic to talk about! I know when I was pregnant, it was definitely hard to describe everything I was feeling, from the physical stuff to the emotional stuff, so it’s a great idea for soon-to-be dad’s to become well informed and well prepared. Thanks!
I bet it’s super hard to explain how you’re feeling when I guess it can be so overwhelming you’re not sure how you’re feeling yourself!
This is great. Dads often get forgotten about but it can feel like such a big change all of a sudden. I love that this book is written by dads, for dads. That kind of knowledge and advice is priceless.
Great review and post! It was so interesting to read the perspective of many dads as they went into parenthood x
Thank you – I agree, it’s great to hear about it from their point of view.
Great post! I think it’s important that men are brought into the conversation about children, and I like how you’ve approached the subject today x
Thank you 🙂
Lovely review. I think it’s good to see this kind of thing from a dad’s point of view. From my friends and sisters, I know a lot of books and guides are centred on the female but there are two people welcoming a baby!
Glad to be part of it. I’ts great to get other dads/partners perspectives, advice and support.
Thank you for being part of this post!