AD – This post on common sex taboos is an advertorial with VIVA
Good news! It’s 2022 and we’re finally eradicating the stigma around perfectly normal things. Oh wait, we’re not. Well, we’re *getting there* but sadly we’re still far from a point of being able to openly and honestly discuss sex and masturbation. Now whilst I’m not suggesting this is a conversation you should strike up with you Nan over a cuppa and a Worthers Originals, it is something that needs addressing.
At the beginning of the year, I wrote this post on 5 Things We Need To Talk About More in 2022. One of those things was sex. And here we are, talking about sex. I’m certainly not implying that my little blog post is going to right all the wrongs of the negative connotations still attached to a plethora of topics, it is a small fish in an otherwise large pond of problems that still need addressing.
But it’s a start. Sex is something I’d like to speak about more. Not just the act itself but the mental aspects of it, relationships, toys and more. I haven’t much, up until now and whilst those reasons are mine and mine alone, I’m glad I’m finally in a place to contribute towards the conversation.
Someone else contributing towards the conversation is VIVA. A wonderful, empowering and sex positive brand that focuses on highly effective, high-end toys with a mission to ‘cancel fake orgasms’. They are fully aware of the stigma behind female sexuality and their goal is to help and encourage women to harness the power of their orgasm and embrace their own sexual wellness fully.
I worked with VIVA last year on a post around How To Boost Your Sexual Wellness. I was also sent one of their toys to review for that post – The Senna. So this is a perfect opportunity to catch you up with how I’m getting on with that toy, a year down the line.
Long story short, it’s amazing, hands-down the BEST toy I’ve never had.
And I promise I’m not just saying that. I have another toy which is of a similar nature (clitoral stimulator) and I rarely reach for that one. The Senna is my go-to. I know exactly how it’s going to make me feel and I freaking LOVE it. It does exactly what I need it to do, it’s wonderfully positioned so it hits the exact right spot and I love the various intensity levels as well.
You can check out The Senna here if you fancy but now, onto some common sex taboos that need to be addressed and spoken about more!
Sex without penetration
I’ve come to think about the topic of “what is sex?” a lot over the last year or so because we are SO conditioned to what we’re taught it means that we never stop to consider that actually, it can mean anything we want it to! We’re so led to believe that it’s typically an act that ends in orgasm but it means SO much more than that.
Especially female self-touch and putting our own sexual needs first. Ever since we’re teenagers, it’s completely normal to consider men masturbating but women? Gosh no. Which is obviously complete rubbish and one of the really common sex taboos that I think is definitely starting to be broken down.
Introducing toys into the bedroom
If VIVA are anything to go by, toys in the bedroom have no place on the common sex taboos list. It shouldn’t be taboo – end of! It’s a wonderful way to spice up your sex life and introduce new sensations into sex. They’re great to use solo and as a couple.
Can we stop talking about period sex now? It’s really boring. Whether you do it or not, it’s certainly not a taboo as periods are one of the most natural and normal things that can happen to a human body. It’s a completely personal choice between you and your partner whether you engage in period sex but whatever your choice, that’s fine.
Related read: How To Make Your Periods More Bearable ft. WUKA
Casual sex and one night stands
Although I’m in a long term relationship and haven’t ever had casual sex or a one night stand, I definitely firmly stand by the fact that casual sex – especially for women – needs to be less taboo and more normalized like on the same plain it is for men. As long as you’re practicing safe sex, that’s all that should matter. Well, that and having a great time.
Consensual impact play
As long as everyone involved in this has given consent and is having fun, there’s absolutely no need for it to be taboo. Consent is super sexy anyway and using it in a way that can enhance sexual experiences (if that’s what you want / like / or want to try) then that’s totally cool.
Not having an orgasm through penetration alone
I feel like this is something that should be taught in school over and over again. I for one, didn’t know this until adulthood. I’m certainly plenty of others don’t either. Most women cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone or through penetration at all. It’s normal and not something that should be on a common sex taboos list. But alas, it is.
These only cover the tip of the iceberg in terms of common sex taboos. The list is endless – especially when we consider taboos which aren’t as common as well. With anything sex related, the most important things are consent and doing what you’re comfortable doing. Including talking about it.
So many of us go on about talking about these common sex taboos more and having more honest and open discussions about them but if that’s not something you’re comfortable doing, that’s absolutely fine too. I think we all know in our minds how we feel about discussing sex and sometimes – perhaps for reasons out of your control – we simply can’t.
So what I’m getting at, is no judgment. Either way. These common sex taboos NEED to be eradicated because women and couples all over the world aren’t experiencing the most out of their sex lives because they’re worried about these ridiculous taboos. Sex is natural, normal and a healthy part of life. Let’s start talking about it that way, too.
What common sex taboos do you have to add to this list? What are your thoughts on the ones I mentioned?
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