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Getting the spark back in a relationship is often easier said than done. If you’ve been with your partner for several years, things might start to feel ‘samey’. On top of this, looking after children, dealing with stress at work, and having to manage finances can add a lot of pressure. If your relationship is stuck in a rut, then I’ve got four great tips which could help you get the spark back.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Bring back date night

It’s very common for couples at the beginning of their relationship to organise a date night at least once a month. Date night allows couples to find a mutually enjoyable activity, get dressed up (or down), and spend a few hours uninterrupted in each other’s company. Many couples think that they don’t have time for date night. Busy schedules make it seem impossible. But it’s important to bring date night back if your relationship needs a new breath of life.

Getting ready for a date night is half of the fun and it will make your partner feel special to know that you made an effort just for them. Although choosing the right activity is important, you shouldn’t feel restricted to doing something conventional. You could watch a movie under the stars, visit a gin distillery, or enter a video game tournament.

Make the bedroom fun again

Sex doesn’t need to be regimented. The bedroom can be fun, playful and intimate. You could buy new lingerie that makes you feel good and makes them incredibly aroused. Alternatively you could have an honest and open discussion about using sex toys. Sex toys aren’t the taboo they used to be. Chances are that a large proportion of the people you know own at least one, whether that’s a vibrator for a women or a vibrating cock cage.

Often people see the word ‘sex toy’ and immediately think of dildo’s and vibrators. But there is lots of variety out there from pleasure rings to love eggs. Researching the wide and wonderful world of adult toys, and choosing a toy together can be incredibly intimate. It will also help bring you closer as a couple.

Find a new shared passion

Is there a sport or activity that you’ve always wanted to try? If so, then suggest it to your partner. Finding a new passion that both you and your partner could enjoy can bring the spark back. It will add a new dimension to the relationship. Whether you want to learn to salsa dance, or become a world-class rock climber, there’s likely to be a range of classes and centers available in your local area.

If you’re not a particularly active couple there are a range of more sedentary activities that you and your partner could try. Knitting, gardening, puzzles, kombucha making, and baking can all be done at home with minimal physical effort.

Revamp your look

Sometimes the spark can start to fizzle out in a relationship because of a lack of confidence. Bodies change, day to day life can take a toll, and it can ultimately lead to low self-esteem. Whilst self-love comes from within and it can’t necessarily be bought, revamping your look can make you feel better about your appearance. A new haircut or some new clothes can make all the difference. Once you’re feeling more positive and confident your partner should be able to notice the difference. It will make you irresistible.

Do you have any of your own tips that you’ve personally used to bring the spark back into your relationship?


  1. I think this post is so important! I love date night and even though I am isolating without my boyfriend, we still have an online date night every week. This is where we make time no matter what work we have going on. We both are busy during the week so this is the one time we put everything down and do something. These are really good ideas!

    Em x

  2. I loved this post Jenny! My boyfriend and I love to cook together and try to make a date night out of doing it once a week or so. I love it!

  3. My boyfriend and I are in an LDR right now and we have already planned to have a proper date night once every 2 weeks when we finally move in together 😊 Thanks for sharing!

  4. These are great tips, I do like to have date nights every so often, it was a lot easier to do them before the whole covid situation, but we find it enjoyable finding new restaurants/pubs or fun activities in the city, although theres still lots of fun date ideas you can do at home too!

    Chloe xx

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