Spending quality time with yourself is ultimately about being happy, comfortable and content in your own company. I’m a huge advocate for alone time and making sure you take time to do things by yourself – whether you’re in a relationship or not. Here we’re going to look at how to spend more quality time with yourself.
I never used to like being by myself. In fact, I was TERRIFIED of being alone for years.
Not alone as in, without a boyfriend but alone as in, physically alone, without anyone else with me.
This was at the time my anxiety disorder was at it’s worst. It actually makes me incredibly sad, looking back now, at how I was and how I behaved during that time.
I still lived at home with my parents but then both worked all day, my boyfriend at the time also having a full-time job in London. I didn’t have any friends either at this point.
I would make sure a neighbour was home, in case I needed someone. My phone was attached to me, 24/7, in case I needed to call someone. There were times were I was terrified to get out of my own bed because I was worried I was going to faint or just die.
I didn’t trust myself to take care of myself.
I was so mentally unwell at that point in time, I don’t think I really grasped how ill I was until semi-recently.
However, learning to be by myself is one thing that I worked very hard on because I always knew it was a huge goal of mine to be more independent again.
And I absolutely LOVE IT.
I think after so many years of needing people around me, I’ve really learned to love and cherish time by myself. It feels so freeing and empowering.
So in today’s post, I want to share some tips on how to spend more quality time with yourself. We can all spend a couple of hours by ourselves, eating pizza and sitting in front of the TV but what about actual QUALITY time?
Here’s how to spend more quality time with yourself:
Actually be by yourself
If you’re not used to spending time by yourself then this alone can appear like a daunting task. So take it slow – there’s no rush. You’re not in a competition with anyone. To spend quality time with yourself, you really need to be – by yourself. So let’s start there.
If you’re a busy mum or have a busy job, then this might be difficult. Start small, with an hour by yourself in the bath or spend time on your own when the kids are at school, rather than rushing off to see people.
Learn what to like to do alone
When you’ve got alone time established, then you’re going to want to learn what you actually like to do by yourself.
If you’re so used to being with people constantly, always compromising on what to do to please both of you (or all of you, if there’s children in the picture), then it can be a bit daunting when you’re suddenly alone with all the options in the world – but you have no idea what to do!
Learn how to just “be”
Spending time with yourself doesn’t always mean doing, doing, doing. In fact, if every time we are by ourselves, we’re constantly just trying to fill every second of time, it’s unlikely we’re really relishing in the alone time at all.
This is where my solo spa breaks come in beautifully. These really give me a chance to just “be”. When I’m sitting in the spa, I’ll read my book, listen to a bit of music and then just sit and enjoy the quiet, alone time. Eating a meal alone can be another great chance to do this.
Take yourself on a date
A wonderful way to spend more quality time with yourself is by taking yourself on a date.
There are tons of things you can do alone, including taking yourself for lunch, going to the theatre, going to the zoo, going for a walk and much, much more. Taking yourself on a date is a wonderful act of self love and really allows you to spend some quality time with yourself, doing what YOU want to do.
Don’t always rely on your phone
Are we ever REALLY alone, when we’re always on our phone, with billions of people at our fingertips?
Although I’m quite happy to use my phone when I’m spending quality time with myself, by watching YouTube videos or listening to a podcast on Spotify, I would definitely suggest not RELYING on your phone too much, so you can’t function without it.
Cook yourself a quality meal
I’ve always loved cooking and feel like cooking is a beautiful act of love, both for yourself and others. Cooking yourself a quality meal is a great way to not only spend quality time with yourself but also do something productive, get out of your own head and nourishing yourself at the end of it.
Do something creative and let your mind be free
Doing something creative is another great way to spend quality time with yourself because it allows you to free your mind and just be you. You might want to try painting or writing, pottery or even attend a class.
Step out of your comfort zone
I’ve spent the last decade out of my comfort zone, only until the last few years realising that I actually freaking love trying and doing new things.
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be an amazing feeling, as it allows you to really learn more about yourself, how you manage different (and sometimes difficult) situations and how amazing you really are!
Whatever scares you or makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, consider doing that the next time you want to spend more quality time with yourself. It can be as big as skydiving (that’s a no from me though) or as small as taking yourself out for a coffee.
Whether you’re a solo traveller who likes to explore the world alone or you prefer doing things a bit more lowkey by yourself – like me – spending quality time with yourself in a worthy investment.
Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. You can spend time alone without experiencing loneliness, just the same as how you can be in a room full of people and feel lonely.
But learning how to spend more quality time with yourself will always benefit you in the long run, allow you to learn more about yourself and nourish that most important relationship – the one with yourself.
How do you spend quality time with yourself?
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