Spending quality time with yourself is ultimately about being happy, comfortable and content in your own company. I’m a huge advocate for alone time and making sure you take time to do things by yourself – whether you’re in a relationship or not. Here we’re going to look at how to spend more quality time with yourself.

how to spend more quality time with yourself

I never used to like being by myself. In fact, I was TERRIFIED of being alone for years.

Not alone as in, without a boyfriend but alone as in, physically alone, without anyone else with me.

This was at the time my anxiety disorder was at it’s worst. It actually makes me incredibly sad, looking back now, at how I was and how I behaved during that time.

I still lived at home with my parents but then both worked all day, my boyfriend at the time also having a full-time job in London. I didn’t have any friends either at this point.

I would make sure a neighbour was home, in case I needed someone. My phone was attached to me, 24/7, in case I needed to call someone. There were times were I was terrified to get out of my own bed because I was worried I was going to faint or just die.

I didn’t trust myself to take care of myself. 

how to spend more quality time with yourself

I was so mentally unwell at that point in time, I don’t think I really grasped how ill I was until semi-recently. 

Thankfully, over time, attending therapy and going on medication for my anxiety, I’ve been able to banish it entirely and I’m back to living a normal life with no anxiety.

However, learning to be by myself is one thing that I worked very hard on because I always knew it was a huge goal of mine to be more independent again.

Over the last few years, I’ve gone on solo cinema trips, taken myself out for endless coffee and cake dates, gone on solo spa breaks and more.

And I absolutely LOVE IT.

I think after so many years of needing people around me, I’ve really learned to love and cherish time by myself. It feels so freeing and empowering.

So in today’s post, I want to share some tips on how to spend more quality time with yourself. We can all spend a couple of hours by ourselves, eating pizza and sitting in front of the TV but what about actual QUALITY time?

Here’s how to spend more quality time with yourself:

how to spend more quality time with yourself

Actually be by yourself

If you’re not used to spending time by yourself then this alone can appear like a daunting task. So take it slow – there’s no rush. You’re not in a competition with anyone. To spend quality time with yourself, you really need to be – by yourself. So let’s start there.

If you’re a busy mum or have a busy job, then this might be difficult. Start small, with an hour by yourself in the bath or spend time on your own when the kids are at school, rather than rushing off to see people.

Learn what to like to do alone

When you’ve got alone time established, then you’re going to want to learn what you actually like to do by yourself.

If you’re so used to being with people constantly, always compromising on what to do to please both of you (or all of you, if there’s children in the picture), then it can be a bit daunting when you’re suddenly alone with all the options in the world – but you have no idea what to do!

Learn how to just “be”

Spending time with yourself doesn’t always mean doing, doing, doing. In fact, if every time we are by ourselves, we’re constantly just trying to fill every second of time, it’s unlikely we’re really relishing in the alone time at all.

This is where my solo spa breaks come in beautifully. These really give me a chance to just “be”. When I’m sitting in the spa, I’ll read my book, listen to a bit of music and then just sit and enjoy the quiet, alone time. Eating a meal alone can be another great chance to do this.

Take yourself on a date

A wonderful way to spend more quality time with yourself is by taking yourself on a date.

There are tons of things you can do alone, including taking yourself for lunch, going to the theatre, going to the zoo, going for a walk and much, much more. Taking yourself on a date is a wonderful act of self love and really allows you to spend some quality time with yourself, doing what YOU want to do.

Don’t always rely on your phone

Are we ever REALLY alone, when we’re always on our phone, with billions of people at our fingertips?

Not really.

Although I’m quite happy to use my phone when I’m spending quality time with myself, by watching YouTube videos or listening to a podcast on Spotify, I would definitely suggest not RELYING on your phone too much, so you can’t function without it.

Cook yourself a quality meal

I’ve always loved cooking and feel like cooking is a beautiful act of love, both for yourself and others. Cooking yourself a quality meal is a great way to not only spend quality time with yourself but also do something productive, get out of your own head and nourishing yourself at the end of it.

Do something creative and let your mind be free

Doing something creative is another great way to spend quality time with yourself because it allows you to free your mind and just be you. You might want to try painting or writing, pottery or even attend a class.

Step out of your comfort zone

I’ve spent the last decade out of my comfort zone, only until the last few years realising that I actually freaking love trying and doing new things.

Stepping out of your comfort zone can be an amazing feeling, as it allows you to really learn more about yourself, how you manage different (and sometimes difficult) situations and how amazing you really are!

Whatever scares you or makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, consider doing that the next time you want to spend more quality time with yourself. It can be as big as skydiving (that’s a no from me though) or as small as taking yourself out for a coffee.

Whether you’re a solo traveller who likes to explore the world alone or you prefer doing things a bit more lowkey by yourself – like me – spending quality time with yourself in a worthy investment.

Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. You can spend time alone without experiencing loneliness, just the same as how you can be in a room full of people and feel lonely.

But learning how to spend more quality time with yourself will always benefit you in the long run, allow you to learn more about yourself and nourish that most important relationship – the one with yourself.

How do you spend quality time with yourself?

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  1. It’s so important to learn to spend time alone. And these are some great tips for getting started – a solo date sounds lovely!

  2. I have high anxiety for different reasons.Though I enjoy being by myself, it gives me time to recharge and decompress from the over stimulation of daily life. There have been times where I’ve had severe anxiety attacks from being alone so I definitely can understand a little of what you were going through. I am glad that you have figured out your process and are doing well anxiety free. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Oh yes I was the same, I’d have day-long anxiety attacks sometimes when I was at home all day by myself, it was awful. So I can definitely underhand. It took a LOT for me to turn it around. And being by yourself is a great way to recharge too!

  3. YES! I use to love alone quality time with myself, but after covid and lockdowns with my partner I find it tougher to get back into routines alone now. I’m going to use these tips and take myself out to a coffee shop in the next week! Thanks Jenny

    1. Awh that’s amazing. I can totally understand how lockdown has impacted people’s confidence with being alone though, I can’t imagine for one second you’re the only one that feels like that! But baby steps is good! A coffee shop solo date will be lovely 🙂

  4. This is rather an inspirational post. I always say that if you can’t enjoy your own time, you will not enjoy it with other. But your blog has shown me a new perspective. The mental health aspects of one spending alone time can be cause anxiety. Thanks for sharing with your readers, tips on how to gradually spend more quality time alone; millions will benefit these

  5. Although my anxiety manifests in a different way, I understand and empathize with you how you felt and responded to it. Being able to make the time we spend alone with ourselves more welcoming and nourishing is a great idea; I am going to make doing this a priority as I think I need it. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

  6. I’m sorry you went through this, Jenny! But it sounds like it’s made you stronger and more resilient. It can be intimidating doing solo activities, but I absolutely love it!

  7. Having a “me day out” is so important, and so few people do it! I love going out with my friends, but our schedules are wildly different. If I feel like trying a new restaurant and seeing a movie I’ve really been looking forward to, I’ll just go by myself if nobody else is available.

  8. As an introvert, I love my alone time, but I also struggle with anxiety so there are situations where I am not comfortable on my own. I totally understand where you are coming from! I think your tips are awesome and it’s truly about taking small steps outside your comfort zone until you gain more confidence.

  9. I think I might actually be at my most content when I’m on my own and have no trouble with quality time. As much as I love my family and friends, there’s something completely untroubled about being alone.

  10. This is absolutely lovely, Jenny. And the line that resonates most with me is, “Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely.” You’re absolutely right. Being able to spend time by ourselves and enjoy that time alone is a gift, one we all deserve, and these are some brilliant suggestions for ways to do just that, thank you.

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