If you’ve ever said any of these things to someone with anxiety, just shtap.

What Not To Say To Someone With Anxiety

  1. Just chill out: Oh wow, you’re right. I’d never even thought of that before, you’re my saviour. Anxiety, especially severe, life-altering anxiety is the incapability of being able to simply “chill out” even sometimes, in the most normal of situations. So telling me to “chill out” is probably going to make me even less chilled yo.
  2. Go out and do something, you’ll feel better: Well actually, some people with anxiety have a crippling fear of outside so you know, maybe don’t say that.
  3. You just need to get back to normal: Oh gosh! Yes! Normal! That’s what I need. What even is normal, anymore? Nobody is the same, nobody is normal – telling us to essentially just, “be like everyone else” isn’t nice or helpful.
  4. It’s nothing, everybody gets anxious: Oh so everybody feels like they can’t function every single day of their life for absolutely no reason? Everybody does get anxious – to an extent and when faced with certain things. But for the majority of the day, every day, often for no reason is something you can’t just shrug off as, “Oh, everyone gets it”.
  5. You’ve got nothing to be anxious about: If you took the time to research what Generalised Anxiety Disorder is then you’d know that most people that have it do in fact get anxious for no apparent reason.
  6. Lots of people have got it worse than you: Wow, really? You’re playing that card? Well next time you moan about how much something costs or that there’s nothing in the fridge you fancy eating, I’ll remind you that some people have it worse than you and you’ll see how quickly that gets annoying.
  7. You’ll look back and regret spending so much time feeling anxious: Like I woke up one day and thought, “You know what would be really fucking fun?” I didn’t chose this but it’s a part of who I am and as much as I hate it with every ounce of my being, I’m not going to regret fighting something and *hopefully* getting through it.
  8. It’s all in your head: The clue is in the name, babe, “mental” health. It’s not all going to be in my arse now, is it.

As someone that suffers with anxiety daily, I know how infuriating it can be when someone says something like this to you. It’s hurtful and disheartening and makes you wonder whether everything you’ve done to try and cope with this awful condition has even been worth it. But if, like me, you do struggle with anxiety, remember how strong you are and how nobody, nobody can tell you otherwise.

As always with my anxiety related posts, this was intended to hopefully help raise awareness and educate on the matter but should be taken lightly. If you think you're suffering from anxiety and it's affecting your daily life, please go and see a doctor.


  1. Great post Jenny, hopefully it will help people to stop and think before they say something they shouldn’t. That’s the last thing that an anxiety sufferer needs. Support, and understanding is what they should have.

  2. I can relate to so many of these! I love how you’ve written this especially with the responses we wish we could say to them. Love your blog header btw 🙂

    Beth // Polishedcouture.wordpress.com xo

  3. I love this list so much!! #1 particularly pisses me off… if I was easily able to “just chill out”, I wouldn’t be having a problem with anxiety in the first place, now would I? It’s like when I’m having an episode of depression and people say, “just look on the bright side”… the whole point about having depression is that you can’t ‘just look on the bright side’. People sometimes, eh? And #8 made me laugh out loud 🙂 Thanks for a great post!

  4. I absolutely agree with you. Many of these things I have heard so often… Most people simply can’t understand someone else. So often I heard guys trying to convince me that I just make my own problems, that I’m telling myself to have anxieties when there is no way I could actually suffer from them. And then I think: “oh really? So, you know me better than I do?” Thank you for writing about it. Love your post.

    1. Nobody can understand what goes on inside anyone else’s mind but you don’t need to be judgemental and cruel if you don’t get it! Oh my gosh, really? I’ve heard that before too – that I’m making up problems for myself like yes, that’s absolutely what I want to have, MORE problems haha! xx

  5. I love this. I’ve suffered from severe anxiety and panic disorder for years now, and no one seems to get it. I always feel so alone and I hear these things constantly. It’s so difficult to just get out of bed and function sometimes…it’s really nice to have a community of people who understand.

    1. I’m so sorry to hear that, Kelly 🙁 It is tough but the blogging community is actually so supportive and open about mental health which is so important. If you ever want to chat about it, you know where to find me! Don’t feel alone – that’s the worst feeling in the world when you’re riddled with anxiety xx

    1. I understand and I sometimes say things to myself which would sound quite mean but it’s a totally different ball-game from saying it to yourself and someone being judgemental and saying it to you xx

  6. A fantastic article and I love how open you are. I have worked in mental health for many years now, and it’s articles like this that help others to understand, they also highlight subjects that are important and hopefully result in a better understanding of the subject. Wishing you all the best and keep up the good work X

  7. Omg YES to all of these!! I seriously can’t stand how people who do not suffer from anxiety think its something you can just shrug off. So annoying!!

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