Well… 2016 was quite a year, wasn’t it? I’m not going to go harping on about how rubbish it was for me because I’m aware I’m beginning to sound like a broken record right about now but in today’s post I want to talk about some of the things I’ve learnt in the past year because with difficulties, comes important lessons and all that shit. Whatever, let’s get on with it…
Don’t assume stuff: Assuming stuff is bad. Bad, bad, bad. You are not a mind-reader. I am not a mind-reader. Nobody else is a mind-reader. Nobody can predict the future – despite what some precious souls may tell you. So assuming what someone is thinking, how someone is going to act, how an event may pan out or anything else that requires you to worries incessantly for hours on end because you assume the worst is quite frankly, pointless. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst but don’t for a second start assuming you know what’s going to happen ‘cos chances are, it won’t.
Always talk: This year, I rang the Samaritans for the first time and learnt how incredibly invaluable their service is. I learnt the power of communication and how important it is to talk to people when you’re not feeling at your best. Even if that person is a complete stranger over the phone who you will never speak to again. It’s not shameful or embarrassing to realise that you need to ask for help – even professional help, which I sought out a handful of times this year too in the form of my counsellor. Do what you gotta do.
Never underestimate the value of being nice: No matter how much a loved one has annoyed you, I’ve learnt that you’ll never, ever regret being nice to someone. Doing a nice gesture will never leave you feeling empty and going to bed knowing you’ve done that one nice thing is much better than going to bed and wondering why you didn’t or why you snapped or why you were rude to someone when you didn’t really need to be. I also learnt that being nice doesn’t have to be expensive, there are plenty of nice gestures that don’t involve a penny. I also wrote a post of 25 little acts of kindness where you can get ideas from!
Time goes fucking quick and you’ve gotta make the most of things: I definitely won’t be the only one to question where the hell 2016 has gone. Like seriously, it has gone so fucking quick. It’s quite hard to comprehend, actually. It’s been the quickest year I’ve experienced since entering this sort-of wonderful world and I’m definitely a bit worried that 2017 is going to go even quicker. I’ve learnt to make the most of things a little bit more but because this year was so cack, I think that lesson is one I will be carrying into 2017 and trying to put into practice more there.
There’s always something to be grateful for: Since November, I’ve been writing one thing I am grateful for each day into a notebook. I got the idea from a self-love webinar I watched, at a time where I really needed a get-up-and-go. And although it doesn’t solve all your problems, far from it, it makes you realise that there is something to be grateful for in each and every day and it also makes you look back over your day and recognise the good in it – even if it was terrible. It gets you into a much better mind set and I’m hoping to carry this on into next year.
You can’t hold together a friendship on your own: Since I was diagnosed with anxiety, I’ve lost a lot of friends. For various reasons which I’m not going to get into. I’ve also gained some friends – mostly online but still, they are wonderful, supportive and like-minded people. But, I’ve learnt a lot this year that sometimes, even your oldest friendships will not survive if both of you aren’t putting the effort into it. I’ve 100% given up on some people this year. Not because I can’t be bothered anymore but because texting someone over 10 times and receiving no response when you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong just isn’t worth it anymore.
Great post Jenny. I love the focus on kindness, being open and friendship. It’s nice to be reminded that your thoughts aren’t always the truth, that everyone is battling something and that your friendship is valuable 💜 x
I completely agree! Thank you for the lovely comment (: xx
[…] (Jenny In Neverland) wrote all about what she learnt in 2016 (some really good life lessons to take note […]
The novel is called Just in Times and is a riveting love story involving time travel, deceit, and adventure.
I completely agree to all your lessons learnt. The value of communication really is great. I learned that when a coworker of mine introduced me to how to get into an internship. I would have never gained such information without communicating. Also I’d like to ask you and anyone else who reads this to take a look at my page where I have just posted a preview to my novel in progress. My goal for 2017 is to have it completed and begin sending it out to literary agents.
These are excellent things – thanks for being candid and sharing. 2016 taught me to listen more, take risks, and go after what you want. Time moves to fast, as you said.
Thanks Mark (: go after what you want… that’s an important one for sure!
Great post 💙
Thank you (: xx
In 2016 I lost some friends but I have learnt that if they do not make any effort then I don’t need them in my life, and I don’t feel bad about cutting them out Xx
Good! And you shouldn’t feel bad for cutting them out either. No reason why you should make the effort and they don’t. I need to take my own advice on that one sometimes! xx
Even the darkest, shitties moments can teach us a valuable life lesson. These are all such important life lessons, some of which I have learned myself (especially the one about not being a mind-reader!) I hope 2017 is a much better year for you!
You too, Aimee and yes I completely agree. Usually it’s the crappiest times which teach us the most – especially about ourselves, don’t you think? xx
I completely agree on your points. I agree on the you can’t hold a friendship together on your own it has to be a two way street! Have a great 2017!
Abso-freaking-lutely. I’ve learnt that more than ever this year! You too (: xx
Love this post, especially the part about asking for help or talking to someone if you need to. I tend to let things fester or try and get on with things because I don’t want to bother people. Want to stop doing this as much in 2017. Also, the part about friendships is so true. It’s a two-way street and if someone isn’t putting in the effort, they’re not worth your time. Put it this way, if you can keep a friendship going with someone who lives over 400 miles away, you should be able to do it with someone who lives just round the corner. Hope you have a wonderful 2017, you definitely deserve it xx
You should try Samaritans when you need them; they’re amazing and so supportive and handy because whatever time of day there’s always someone there. And yep, exactly. Heard absolutely nothing for another few months now so I’m done, I’m not saying another word to her. Was contemplating deleting her off Facebook as well actually, at least then she might realise what she’s done! xx
I might do, thank you 🙂 I find writing it all down really helps, then deleting it. That may sound daft, but somehow it works haha! You know, I reckon that’s a good idea. She’s not willing to keep up the friendship yet she can still see what’s going on in your life through what you post. Goes without saying, but you know I’m always here for a chat/rant. Love a good rant, me xx
This was such a wonderful post. I have the same feelings you do about 2016 and dealt with a lot of similar things as well especially when it came to my anxiety. Thank you for this positive post. It was truly inspiring!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting and for such a lovely comment. I hope 2017 is much kinder to you! xxx
Those are some valuable lessons. I was also lucky enough to discover the power of gratitude in 2016. It’s amazing how even a little bit of it can make such a huge difference.
Absolutely! I totally agree. I’m really loving my gratitude journal. It’s my private little thing that only I can see and know what’s written in there but after a really bad day, it does help xx
Practical, real, and still offering some uplifting advice. This is exactly what we need right now, thank you! 🙂
You’re so welcome – thank YOU for commenting and reading (: xx
Absolutely loved this post, Jenny. One of the best I’ve read in a while. Full of lots of good advice and positivity. If people could even take one of these tips on board, it’d be worth the read 🙂
Aw thank you so much, that’s a lovely thing to hear! (: xxx
No problem at all 🙂 Keep it up, Jenny!