This is going to sound like a super weird post and I bet you’re probably all thinking, “wth jenny?” at the title. It’s not clickbait, I 100% mean it, I don’t like my own birthday. I mean obviously when I was younger in Primary School and had swimming parties and McDonalds parties and bouncy castles and the works, birthdays rocked. I wanted it to be my birthday every day! Actually tell a lie, I didn’t, I would always get overwhelmed with all the people and just want a quiet half an hour to myself but you get my gist. Birthday’s were brilliant. Friends, cake, food, presents, balloons, parties. But as I got older, I had a huge change of heart. I distinctly remember spending the first few hours of my 16th birthday in bed crying. So here’s a super sad list of reasons why I don’t really like my own birthday…
1. I don’t like getting older: but I mean, who does?
2. It reminds me that everyone else is getting older too: and that’s not something we want to think about too often.
3. I’m getting further and further away from the carefree years of my childhood and I miss it: seriously, where did it go? It seems like 2 minutes ago my mum was reading to me in bed and washing my hair.
4. It makes me more aware of how much I haven’t achieved yet: okay, shit is getting serious here but it’s so easy to think of what you “should” have done by a certain age that you lose sight of what you actually have done. Sigh.
5. It also makes me wary of all the stuff I still want to achieve: and how I’m gonna need to get off my arse and actually do them. It’s all very well having goals but they remain as goals unless you actually do something to work towards them. And not all your goals are going to remain relevant forever. The time is now.
6. It makes me feel unaccomplished: another year, another 400 Facebook posts of people getting their dream jobs, travelling the world, having babies, getting married, buying houses and another year of me… not. But I know it’s important to remember that everyone goes at their own pace and that life isn’t a race.
7. It just makes me sad: for real, my own birthday makes me sad. Other people’s don’t, just my own. I’ve never known why but I spent the first few hours of my 16th birthday crying in bed. what the hell?
8. And it makes me realise how quickly time is going: and it didn’t take a whole rambly blog post about why I hate my birthday for you to know that. Every year feels like it’s going quicker and quicker and I hate it! How have I been on this planet for almost 25 years already?
9. The attention scares me: I hate being the centre of attention for anything. I’d rather be behind the scenes. I love other people’s birthdays so I get to spoil them, make them feel special and show them they are the centre of attention for that day. But for me? Eeeek!
I’m such a grateful person and I’m always so appreciative of any cards, gifts and messages I receive on my birthday so don’t let this post put you off sending all those books as gifts this year… (I’m kidding, maybe…) but there’s why I get sad on my birthday. Do you experience any of the above? Or are you a birthday loving person?