Life. Ah. That ol’ chestnut. Has a habit of getting in the way sometimes don’t it? With the rise of people talking about the importance of self care reaching dizzying heights over the last few years, it also brings with it a bit of guilt, when we realise that we’re neglecting our own self care. Sometimes for weeks. Or when there’s a stressful event happening in our lives. Sometimes, we neglect it for months on end. And it can be hard to know how to bring self care back into your life when you’ve neglected yourself for too long.
But seriously, no shame here. I think we’re ALL guilty of neglecting our own self care, whether that’s physical, mental or emotional at some point in our lives. For me, it was when I was in the midst of the worst period of my anxiety disorder. I could barely function to get through the day, let alone have to think FURTHER about self care.
To me, getting through the day WAS self care.
Although of course at the time, that wasn’t how I saw it. At the time, it was living hell (more about that in my book, which you can pre-order here!)
Getting back on track with self care isn’t easy. Especially when you’ve neglected it for far too long. But it’s important. We literally live in a society where we need to be REMINDED to take care of ourselves sometimes… how sad is that? We’re so busy. There’s so much going on around us. We need to be doing all the things, all the time.
And it’s time to stop and reclaim our self care. You, yes, I’m looking at you.
Here are a few easy to follow steps on how to bring self care back into your life when you’ve neglected yourself for far too long:
Start small and start somewhere
Okay, so the hardest part? Is getting started. Which goes for just about everything in life that seems mildly daunting. So the fact that you’ve even STARTED, is worth congratulating yourself for. If you’ve done nothing even remotely “self care” related in perhaps months and the whole prospect is overwhelming, then booking yourself a full blown spa weekend with no phone, internet or communication probably isn’t the way to go.
Don’t judge yourself
And wherever you DO start, don’t judge yourself for it. If the ONLY act of self care you can manage at the beginning is a having a bath or saying no to that invite that you really don’t want to go to, then that’s fine. I have a habit of feeling guilty about everything (another post for another time) so learning not to judge myself when it comes to self care is hugely important to me. Your journey is YOURS, nobody else’s.
Schedule self care into your day
If you’re not used to self care then you’ll probably make some excuses. Don’t worry, we all do it. “I forgot”, or “I don’t have time”, being the most common. WELL, firstly self care can be nicely slotted into your day in the following ways:
- Reading on your commute instead of checking your phone
- Waking up 15 minutes earlier for the peace and quiet
- Limiting social media time in the evenings
- Expressing gratitude every night before bed
among many, many other ways that you can start re-introducing self care into your life that won’t take up a bunch of time. And by scheduling it into your day, putting it on your to-do list or blocking out time especially for YOU, it’ll give you that little nudge and remind you that it’s just as important as all the other stuff you have to do during the day.
Gather inspiration for self care activities
Pinterest is a great tool for this one as there are countless blog posts and pins on self care activities which cover more or less everyone’s different interests. Just because someone else finds going to a spa relaxing, doesn’t mean that everyone else will. With self care, it’s all about finding what works for you but if you’re struggling for ideas because it’s been so long, somewhere like Pinterest is a good place to start.
Note down what works and what doesn’t
And speaking of finding what works for you, this is a BIG one. Because not everything you try will make you feel relaxed or happy or better. This is one I’m currently working on now. As I work for myself and work from home, I find it difficult to find a balance between life and work. So I started giving myself full days off, cold turkey, no work. Sometimes no social media either.
And I’ve found that actually… that doesn’t work for me. When I have a day off and don’t HAVE anything to do then literally, I will do nothing. I waste my days. I nap all afternoon. And ultimately, I end up feeling like crap. So whilst yes, having a day off is an important part of self care, working it in a way that suits you is the most important thing.
So for me, I’ve started trying out half days instead. Giving myself a couple of days in the week where I work until midday and then stop. Which seems to be working out much better for me at the moment.
[…] I’m neglecting my personal well-being and self care […]
One of my favourite things about your blog is that even when returning to posts I’ve seen before, they still always make me have a hard look at what I’m doing. My self-care the last week or so has been appalling, especially as I literally didn’t leave the house for four days. This is the perfect reminder of some of the things that I can do to hopefully start looking after myself a little better, because I certainly need it right now.
Awh I’m so glad! I’m glad this helped you step back and realise you need to up that self care!
I really liked this, i can relate to this and i’m a big believer in self care and how it can help your life and mentality – great blog post
Thank you 🙂 xxx
These are such fab tips! I love reading posts about self care they really inspire me to start looking after myself a bit better! Thank you for sharing!
I’m so glad 🙂 x
Self care is SO important! Some people seem to think it has to be this grand thing (which it can be) but definitely doesn’t have to be. It can be as simple as going for a walk, sitting in the quiet for a couple minutes, watching your favorite show or movie. On the other hand it can also be the non glamorous stuff like going to work, eating healthy, cleaning your living space. 😉
Self care is so important these days! It’s often overlooked, but it’s imperative that we take time for ourselves and aren’t just constantly on the go.
Totally agree 🙂
Self care is incredibly important. I really should schedule it into my day. These 5 steps might help! Thanks for sharing <3
You totally should!
Great post Jenny 🙂 I’m trying to introduce a more regular self-care regime into my life as it can be so important to staying happy and healthy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
You’re welcome!
I love this post. It really is crazy that we need to be reminded about self-care and to schedule it in, but I know that I certainly am guilty of this. I like your idea of giving yourself just a half day to yourself rather than a full. I’ve been off work for the last 3+ months, and though I’ve had some lazy days and some super productive days, I’ve never really felt good about myself on the lazy days because I literally just vegged. Nothing lovely for myself at all. I’m going back to work next week and I hope that with a new normal, it will feel more natural to incorporate self care again.
Right! It’s awful that we need to be reminded about it. And the half day system is really helpful, especially if you do feel bad for spending so much time being “lazy”!
Love the openness of this post, and acknowledging how some things may work/not work for an individual person and that’s totally okay! <3
Thank you 🙂
Great post! We are advocates for self care!!
Wonderful post! Self-care is so so important.
I love this!! You are always so inspiring!!!
Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I keep myself as busy as possible but so need to switch off.
You’re welcome!
These are such great ideas! I really think scheduling it into my day will help me so much! Thank you for sharing these tips!
Amber – The Unpredicted Page – https://theunprdictedpage.com
You’re welcome!
Love this! Once you’ve fallen out of a routine (I know I do) it’s hard to get back into it so these small steps I can see being very beneficial – thank you Jenny!!
You’re welcome 🙂 xx
Love this! I pratice self care by playing with my cat and eating cheese platters with wine 😀
Sounds perfect!
I enjoyed reading your post! 💕 What I thought was helpful self-care practice looked more like another item on my ‘to-do list.’ I recently discovered that I needed to lean into the uncomfortable repercussions that weeks of isolation brought on. This self-care practice looked very different than what I was accustom to.
https://thesoulwhispersblog.com/2020/05/19/self-care-more-than-a-hobby/
It’s always important to schedule a little bit of self-care into everyday. It helps my mental health tremendously.
Same here. So, so important!
I’m so bad at planning my days so end up missing out on self-care time because i need to get stuff done (and procrastinated) but I need to just start scheduling 15 minutes in!
Ash | thisdreamsalive.com
15 minutes is better than 0 minutes!
Great post! I love that even something so quick like expressing gratitude for 10 mins every night can make you feel like you’re your number 1 priority and you end up feeling a bit better! During lockdown i’ve been aiming to wake up a bit earlier before work so that I can get out for a walk in the sunshine and it definitely makes me feel more positive! Thank you so much for sharing x
That’s great to hear!
I loved this post! Self-care is so important and something that I need to take more time for, so thank you so much for sharing these tips! Xx
Really great tips. Perfect for what’s going on in the world now.
Absolutely 🙂
Completely agree with scheduling self care into your day. I plan out period of productivity and self care to follow those periods.
That’s a great idea!
Hello, I’m new and I absolutely love your saying!. Well done.
Self care is so important and I definitely believe getting started is the hardest part. It gets easier everyday! Thanks for sharing 😊
This is such a helpful post for people who have let self care fall away for a bit. I’ve definitely gone through periods of that, particularly when I’m struggling with my mental health. It’s way too overwhelming for me to then try and dive straight back into it, but starting small is so helpful. Even just a nice shower, washing my hair and putting on some moisturiser can start making me feel human again. Now I’ve managed to work up to a full routine, and it’s really helped my balance and happiness!
That’s great to hear! And I agree, even the smallest things help sometimes 🙂
I’ve definitely fallen into harder times when self care just wasn’t happening at all. It really is so so important. But, so easy to not do for ourselves. I really appreciate this post. I like how you mention to schedule it. That’s very helpful to me. With three kids at home I have to schedule everything for it to get done, so I will definitely be scheduling self care into my days as well. Thank you for another wonderful post Jenny. Sending love and positivity your way.
Thanks Natasha, I totally agree with what you’ve said x
Self care is so important right now, it’s definitely something at the forefront of my mind right now. Your tips here are so on point and i’ll definitely be sharing this post amongst my community 🙂 thanks for sharing your tips!
Emmie x
Thank you lovely 🙂 x
Honestly, I think I am at the “find what works and what doesn’t” stage. I feel like, what use to work for me, no longer does. And trying to find what DOES has been a chore. haha
Thanks for this honest post. These tips are great. 🙂
Haha oh no! I find that some things that used to work, no longer do!
These are some great tips. I love a self care day but I need to get better at practicing the smaller stuff too because I’m definitely guilty of keeping going until I burn myself out.
Lauren | http://www.laurenyloves.co.uk
Oh same, I totally relate!
so many great things in this post! For me, there is nothing better than a long, hot bath and uninterrupted time to myself!
Rosie
Same girl!
These are great tips and I agree with them all! It’s important to start where you are and not judge yourself too harshly in the process.
Totally 😌
If I don’t schedule self-care into my day, I more than likely don’t do it! My brain somehow remembers all the things I need to do except for taking a breather and relaxing.
bossbabechroniclesblog.com
Same girl!
I’ve never really had a self care routine or scheduled any specific time for it. I think now is a great time to try and work on introducing some to daily routines. And you’re right about starting with something small, even something tiny is better than nothing x
Absolutely 🙂
My counted on, non-negotiable daily “self-care” routines are my morning devotions, exercise, and a bit of reading before bed. If all else fails, I know I will at least have three instances in the day where I can clear my mind and focus on being mindful. Also, isn’t it funny how we ~can~ be doing things that are going to better us in the long run but are actually a block in the present?? This is what I’ve had to realise the last week or so. I’ve been working soooo much and so hard on schoolwork, but it was and is d r a i n i n g. And I love, love, love to run, and it does me the world of good, but I have “onset” shin splints, so I have to be careful, even when I think I can run. So, I’ve been allowing myself to take a break longer than 15 minutes and even up to 2 hours if it’s going to help me stay focused on my work, and I’ve chosen to take the week off of running and only do weights/stretching. It’s been helping so much! (Also, jotting “sunbathe” on my daily to-do has been a new addition with this nice weather, and it’s so motivating and satisfying to check that off :’))
I totally see where you’re coming from with the better us in the long run thing! It’s important to have that balance. Sometimes, doing something just because we want to do it NOW is critical for self care. Not because we know “hey! this will help me in a weeks time!” x
I need to get into more of a schedule x
I definitely needed to read this post today, thank you for sharing Jenny! The past week I have been feeling quite unmotivated and that is when my self-care isn’t the best. This week I have started adding in a few things back in which I know makes me feel better like some yoga or a little walk. Like you say, we have to find out what works best for us, as we are all different. Thank you for sharing these suggestions and hope you are having a good week <3 xxx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
Ah glad to hear you’ve started introducing self care back into your routine again. Starting small really helps <3 xxx
Self care is so important and easily forgotten right now. Very inspiring piece Jenny 🙂
Love Alexa
http://alexajade.co.uk
It sure is, especially with how stressed everyone is!
I love the tips you have shared with self-care! It is important that we do what we can to make sure we are sane. I totally agree with you about waking up earlier. I love being able to catch up with overnight notifications in the morning. Thanks for sharing all of these great ideas!
Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me
Same, I love the morning, it’s my favourite time of day!
You are right, we are all different and we should not impose on ourselves strategies that work for other people. What works for you might probably not work for me and that’s fine. It’s part of self care. For me personally, I go with the flow of things, it all depends on my mood. Some days I sleep the whole day, others I dedicate to work, clean and many others
You’re so right. I couldn’t sleep through the day or stay in bed all day, that makes me feel awful but obviously works for you on occasion!
Especially the part about the ‘don’t judge yourself’ hits home with me. Every time I sit still I feel guilty, thanks for reminding me it’s okay to relax!
I’m the same so I totally understand how you feel!
Funnily enough, my gratitude ends up being expressed when I wake up. I also like to pull some tarot and oracle cards in the morning, look at them for hints as to what I should work on during the day, and reflect on the new meanings I see in the cards by the time the day ends. It is relaxing for me and helps me focus on one thing. 🙂
That sounds like a lovely routine to have in the morning.
I’m also doing half days, I guess! I’m just working whenever I get a burst of motivation and inspiration, which is more or less every other day. I give myself a break when I’m just not feeling up to the productivity and I don’t let myself feel an ounce of guilt for it 🙂 Love these tips gal xx
It’s definitely a good time to go with the flow and DEFINITELY not beat yourself up over anything!
Some great tips! Self care is so important and sometimes it can get overlooked
It sure can!
I really relate to your point about having days off doing nothing – I’ve tried this so many times but like you I end up napping most of the time and I just feel miserable afterwards because I’ve wasted a valuable day off. I sometimes feel I’m better having half a day off or just a couple of hours once or twice a week! Thanks for sharing xx
Yeah that’s totally like me! I absolutely can’t do nothing all day – it kills my mood!
Keeping note of what works and what doesn’t is super important! Sometimes we don’t internalise these things without seeing them written down in front of us! Fab post xx
Oh totally. We keep going with it thinking it’s helping us but actually isn’t!
Slowly but surely I’m getting into a slight routine but I defo need to make it more of a regular thing, especially during these times. I’ve just about learnt that I need to stop being so hard on myself!
Jessica & James | http://www.foodandbaker.co.uk
Finding a routine that works for you can be so helpful 🙂
These are some great tips Jenny. I know I’ve been neglected my self care recently; I’ve found it hard to adapt my usually routine into the lockdown situation. I’m in lockdown at my boyfriend’s studio flat, so there goes my bubble baths and enjoying the outdoors in the garden. At the moment, video games and Netflix are my saviours.
Oh I’m sorry to hear that but at least you’re finding the positives!
Great tips! Personally, I have to schedule self care into my day or it doesn’t happen… I get too caught up in everything else that I need to and want to get done, and it’s forgotten about in the shuffle. At least if I schedule it, then I tend to remember to stop and dedicate that important time focusing on ME.
I’m totally the same! I have to have it on my to-do list otherwise I won’t do it!
I love this post. I’ve read so many self are ones over the last few months that just focus on candle-lit bubble baths and face masks. Don’t get me wrong, I love those as much as the next gal, but it doesn’t always work for me mentally. Like you, I can’t actually have a day of doing nothing. Self-care for me is doing particular tasks that I know always relax me and help me feel better in myself, even when others think I’m still being busy. Love this!
I agree. I love a bath but sometimes it doesn’t help. I’m the same too, staying productive is kinda an act of self care for me because it makes me feel better!
Such an amazing post! I definitely agree that scheduling self-care into your day is very important. Most of the time time just flies by and I totally forget to do some of the self-care acts.
Antonia || Sweet Passions
Such a lovely post, Jenny, so calming to read. I struggle to fit self-care into my day because everything else always seems to take priority but I’d never thought about just carving out 15 minutes first thing in the morning. Or booking out a half day. Somewhere along the way self-care seems to have become this mammoth full on experience (bath, hair wrap, body pampering) that I don’t want but actually, you’re right, it’s what works for you. Great suggestions, thank you so much xxx
Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com
Yeah I agree! Self care definitely isn’t just a spa day or a full-blown pamper day! 15 minutes in the morning can work wonders!
We could all do with these reminders some days. Like you, getting through the day was my self-care. In reality I was just hanging on by a thread. It’s so important that we step back and think about what we really need to do to recharge our batteries.
Oh I can so relate. Not falling into oblivion was my self care some days when my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t get out of bed!
Some really good tips here – I find scheduling self-care into my calendar really helps to get me to actually do it, and I love you’ve included to focus on whether something works or not. I used to spend lots of time doing self-care activities because people said they were good, even when they didn’t actually help me – left me feeling frustrated and like self-care was pointless! Now I only focus on things that work for me and it’s much easier and more effective.
YES exactly! Just because so many people mention that having a bath is a good act of self care, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. If you hate baths, don’t have them haha!
Figuring out what works and what doesn’t work for you is so important! We have this idea that self care is just candles, bath bombs and meditation (and it is – but just a small aspect). I’m not great at meditation but I have been trying it out every now and then to get into the practice of it, but i would defo not use meditation as my go-to form of ‘self-care’. For a period, I felt bad that I wasn’t getting the benefits of it like everyone would say. Now ive accepted it’s not my way to unwind! xx
Meditation is such a practice and can take YEARS to get the hang of! I think the main thing is to not beat yourself up if your mind wanders or if you can’t focus. I’ve been meditating more or less every day for years now but some days I just can’t drop in and end up leaving it!
Love this post; it’s exactly where my head’s at right now. I really avoid social media too. Thanks for posting!
You’re welcome!
I love this post! Self care is so important. I’ve been making sure to take time everyday to soak in the tub or enjoy a few chapters of the book I am currently reading and that helps so much!
That’s great to hear. Reading is such good self care!
Excellent post that I can really relate to. I have started reading magazines each evening as I have either been working non stop or doing housework to try and take my mind off things and those haven’t been working so well.
Glad you’re trying new things to see what works!
I think with everything that’s going on right now, it’s a great time if finally practice self care as I never made time for it before! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Yes it is! <3
I love this! Last week I had such a lovely time, relaxing at home and getting on top of my mental health. After going back to work this weekend though I’ve been feeling more anxious than ever – I really needed your self care advice today x
Kate | thelittlecrunch.co.uk
Awh girl, I’m glad you read this post at a good time!
I don’t think I realised how I had been neglecting self care until I read this post.
I can’t remember the last time I really looked after me, too busy looking after everyone else!
I’ll be making sure I make time for me during my Delayed Easter break X
Yesss I’m so glad to hear that!
Oh yes, self care is more important than ever right now! I am home alone with two children and finding time for myself is proving tricky, but I managed a little home-spa treatment while they were in the bath at the weekend.
That sounds perfect!
This is great, thank you for sharing! I tend to forget about self-care and end up making myself feel crap but I have started scheduling in time just for a face mask or reading for half an hour xx
Sounds like a good idea! 🙂
This post is so great! I make sure I schedule self care into my diary always because it is important to me! I love the “just start somewhere” as well! Great post xxx
Thank you 🙂 xxx
Love this post! I think self care is more important than ever right now. I find scheduling time for self care is really useful for me as otherwise weeks can go by without me taking anytime to just sit and do something for myself xx
Tiffany x http://www.foodandotherloves.co.uk
Yes same girl! I literally put it on my to-do list!
argh yes I am certainly guilty of using the phrase ‘I don’t have time’, doing simple things like cooking or baking is something I really wanna make sure I schedule in every other day as personally I find it so relaxing!
I find cooking relaxing too, I can really zone out of everything when I’m throwing ingredients together!
Thank you so much Jenny for sharing this incredible post about self care as it is very important to serve oneself before serving world or thirsty can’t serve water before finishing his thirst…
Be safe and be healthy
Thank you, you too!
I definitely agree that you just have to start somewhere! Even if it’s just one thing that’s classed as “self care”. But I think it’s important to remember that self care differs for everyone! So like you say, it’s not something to be judged!
Absolutely not 🙂 x
I have definitely been known in the past to neglect self-care but thankfully I have gotten better over time. I used to judge myself a lot regarding self-care vs being productive so this post was really useful – thanks Jenny! 🙂
Thank you, can totally relate to the self care vs productive thing!
Self-care is so important to remember, especially at the minute! Scheduling it into your day is a really good idea to remember it!
It sure is 🙂
I think this is great advice, I’ve shared some self-care on my blog but I think this is a great post for people who don’t know how they are going to start practising.
Abigail | chatwithabigurumi.com
It definitely can be daunting!
I’m in the middle of getting myself back together and this post is helped me a lot!
I’m so glad!
thank you, this is super lovely and encouraging to read x
I’m glad 🙂
Great article and very relatable. Thanks
You’re welcome 🙂
I love this post! I can totally relate im definitely an all or nothing type of person so starting small is great advice. Thanks for sharing xx
Thank you 🙂