Okay. Let’s get into this then. Social media. We all have it. We can’t live without it. Social media crept into our lives, got us all in a strong hold and has refused to let go. Social media has without a doubt been one of the most influential things to happen to us – it’s provided us with so much positivity and opportunity. But let’s not beat around the bush, it’s also destroyed lives.

Now I know that introduction sounds a little dramatic but I’m not wrong. Social media is everywhere and everything at times – as much as we like to think it’s not. And you know what, I don’t think that’s always a bad thing. It’s helped us create businesses, connect with people, help people and much, much more.

But of course you’ve always got the side of social media that’s brought with it safety concerns, mental health issues, trauma, bullying and more as well. Which is always devastating and heart-breaking to read and think about.

But like with most things in life, it has it’s good and it’s bad. And the good thing about social media is that there are plenty of things we can do as users to help make our experience of the various platforms safer and more positive. There will always be certain things out of our control – but let’s focus on the things we can control.

For me, social media has been the highest of high and the lowest of low. It’s allowed me to create this blog when I was at the darkest and lowest time of my life with my anxiety disorder. It’s allowed me to turn it into a full-time business, land me opportunities with amazing brands and make more money than I ever thought I could, from something that I built from scratch.

It’s also allowed me to build my confidence after my entire normality and independence was taken from me. It’s allowed me to make friends and meet people who understand what I’m going through. But with every positive, there’s definitely a negative.

It’s affected my self esteem more than I ever thought possible. I’m always comparing myself to others. And I struggle to stay in the present moment sometimes because I’m scrolling through my phone.

But it’s okay – I don’t let those few negatives take away from the positives of social media. But I do continuously work on having a healthier relationship with social media platforms so I can find more balance in my life and take better care of my mental health. Here are some tried and tested ways I adopt a more healthier relationship with social media!

Turn on your screen time limits

iPhones have an amazing screen time limit feature but if you don’t have an iPhone, I’m use there are similar features on the phone you have. If not, you’ll have to set your own screen time limits. But regardless of how you do it, it’s a great tool to start with to cut down the amount of time you spend on social media. I turn all mine off at 9pm.

Block, mute and un-follow generously 

Those buttons are there for a reason. It’s not illegal to use them, so use them wisely and use them generously. If someone gives you bad vibes, is bringing you down or making you feed bad about yourself (either intentionally or not), use the appropriate action for you and watch how your social media feeds get that little brighter.

Related read: 8 Reasons To De-Clutter Your Facebook Friends

Follow more people that inspire you

And as well as removing people who don’t align with you or jive with your energy, you should also follow more people that do. You are in control of who or what you follow. Algorithms may get in the way but who you choose to follow is up to YOU, so follow those who are bright, positive, natural and real who inspire you online, instead of making you feel bad.

Know your why and your purpose behind it

This really helps when we find ourselves aimlessly scrolling. Which is very common and a hard habit to break. We all use social media for a reason so try and understand your why before you do it. For me, I go on social media in the morning to answer comments, to share blog posts and to interact with other bloggers. That’s my reason.

Turn off your notifications 

Turning off notifications on social media platforms is an amazing way to deter you from checking them every single time that little red dot pops up. You’re still getting your notifications, you’re just not being hounded with them all day, every day. So this allows you to check them in your own time.

Set personal boundaries

Whether that’s only checking social media for a total of 2 hours a day, turning off social media by 8pm or culling who you follow and interact with, set those boundaries and stick to them where possible. Boundaries are amazing for all areas of life and need to be established to help you find a balance that works for YOU.

Remind yourself that it’s mostly a highlight reel

If you struggle with comparison like me, then this is something you need to remind yourself of every single time you fall down that rabbit hole. Photos get edited. Filters get applied. Make up gets put on. The perfect lighting gets arranged. Some people only post photos from their fancy holidays or trips away and don’t show you anything else.

Remember, everyone is within their right to show what they want on their own social media platforms. If you only want to post your highlights, then that’s fine. But if you’re someone that struggles with comparison and jealousy, then you might want to think about un-following these people or perhaps giving yourself some mindful affirmations before you use the platforms.

Try and leave your phone elsewhere when doing something

Sometimes social media can interfere with us having meaningful connections to the person we’re with or the thing that we’re doing because we’re scrolling through Twitter. Try leaving your phone elsewhere whilst you do certain activities, to help you be more in the moment, present and connected.

Social media is wonderful. But only if you allow it to be and make those positive changes so that your social media platforms are a place you want to be but also a place you don’t feel like you need to be all the time.

What steps do you take to create a healthier relationship with social media? Anything to add to this post? Let me know!

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55 Comments

  1. This is a underrated topic honestly. I don’t have social media such as fb, Instagram, snap chat or a lot of others. I only use YouTube and this platform for me it’s great. Don’t get me wrong social media can be a good thing. If u use it in moderation like anything else. So many people social media is there everything.

  2. i loved this post! especially the dramatic intro! lol it drew me in. ever since i decided to turn off notifications, it’s changed my mindset. i can now look at those platforms at my leisure. i think as long as we use social media as tools for a certain purpose, they won’t consume us. thanks for sharing such great points here.

  3. Ah, social media really is a double-edged sword. I love that it opens up so many opportunities and can be great fun. But at the same time I’m all too aware of the negative impacts too. I think your tips for handling it are great. Switching off notifications made a big difference to me, as I wasn’t constantly distracted by my phone lighting up throughout the day. Unfollowing and following the right people is so important too. A timeline filled with like-minded and inspiring people works wonders x

  4. Social media is a rocky slope, but it can also be a fun and inspiring ride, so I love your tips for making the most out of social media. Unfollowing is something I have been doing a bit more of lately, as there are people I do not interact with anymore or who simply do not post the kind of content I find encouraging and interesting.

    Love the idea of turning off notifications! It gets rid of the sense of urgency those little dings create.
    Thanks for sharing!

  5. I love this post. Social media is most of the reason I’m still blogging due to the support on those networks and just the chance to find new people and to share content. But it’s also one of my signals that my anxiety is playing up when I’m endless scrolling and liming it gives me so much time back in the day – and I didn’t think I was that bad.

  6. I think this is an amazing post! Like you, I have had a good, bad relationship with social media. Social media has been really helpful for my blog but it has been a huge source of comparison for me as well. I think in all, what matters is finding a healthy balance. I only follow those that impact me positively and I try to take breaks as often as I can.

  7. I have found out that shutting down the notifications is life changing when it comes to social. Actually, I have even expanded it to my phone also. I usually have it in silent mode when I need to be consentrated.
    Started connecting also to those I truly want to connect. I used to connect with everyone I knew and asked me to connect. I don’t sny more.
    Tour tips are truly valuable! Thank you 💕

  8. It’s definitely important to set boundaries when it comes to being on social media. As a social media manager and blogger, it can be challenging for me to separate my life from my phone because I’m always working! But when I’m doing activities with friends or family, I definitely try to make sure I’m spending less time staring at a screen. I appreciate your post so much!

  9. This is a great post filled with so much useful information. I have had an unhealthy relationship on social media in the past. However, I am trying to change that now by following people who inspire me to be better. Thank you for sharing this post.

  10. Social media can be a real force for good, as you say, but you do need to remember what you see isn’t always real. A highlight reel is a great way of describing it. I limit my time on socials as much as I can, partly for my own sanity, and partly because I don’t feel endless scrolling is the best use of my time! That said, if you can set your own limits, it’s a wonderful way to connect with others who share your interests and goals! xxx

  11. I’m a huge believer in taking social media breaks and serrating yourself from technology. Social media can easily become toxic and hard to manage if you don’t have a healthy relationship with it. Great post.

  12. OMG, yes, I totally feel you and have been trying to implement some of your strategies! Rabbit hole is a good description of the trap we all might fall into if not careful.. And even if trying to be careful 😀

    While this plague is going on I recognize I have been way too much doom scrolling, so working on minimizing that.

    Thanks for sharing,

    Carpe Diem! | https://OurCarpeDiem.com

  13. Huge yes to this! I think social media has given people so many opportunities but has also been the worse thing that could happen to each of us in very different ways so setting boundaries is most important. I am like you, so I compare myself to whatever I see and need to remind myself that it’s a glammed and filtered moment of someones day. Also setting timers for them was one of the best discovery in the last few years x

  14. These tips are spot on and I think we all need to be conscious of the impact of social media and take breaks.

    I’ve enjoyed having this weekend off and only looking at Twitter on my terms for brief moments.

  15. Totally love these tips! I set my time for a total 1-2 hours a day for checking social medias (mostly Twitter and Instagram). I also have a social media detox every weekend so it helps a lot to have a healthy life with social media 🙂

  16. Such a great post. I have felt my relationship with social media and blogging swing from healthy to unhealthy and back again in the last year or so. At the start of this year, I wanted to make real, easy changes that would stop me from mindlessly scrolling. It’s really helped me to get away from my phone and comparing myself to others and falling into that dark spot that socials often give us!
    Rosie

    https://www.loverosiee.co.uk

  17. Yes to all of this!! I love my blog, the positive support I’ve found and the online friends I’ve made, but I also set strict boundaries these days. If I’m invested in a new series, spending quality time with my partner or friends, out for a meal etc, I choose to put my phone away and engage entirely in those moments – I think that’s so important. I also am so super quick to unfollow anyone who doesn’t bring me joy online.

    Kate | kindlyk.co.uk x

  18. Social media is definitely a curse and a blessing. It sometimes feels like it was made so we can serve it and not for it to serve us. I’m always following people that inspire me and bring positive energy.

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

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