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I think it’s very common for us to feel a sense of being out of control of our own lives. Especially if you’ve suffered with debilitating anxiety, like I have, feeling out of control is the LAST thing you want to feel. When you’ve got social media and advertising trying to control what you think, feel, buy, watch or read every minute of the day, it’s no wonder so many of us question what is really “us”.

Femme Luxe Tartan Trousers

Feeling out of control of your own life is something I’m painfully familiar with. When I was going through my worst bout of anxiety, I felt like a shell. A really nervous, anxious and stressed shell of a woman with no responsibilities, friends, job, money or prospects. I would wonder whether I actually had a future on more than one occasion.

But since kicking my anxiety disorder to the curb and well and truly stealing my life back, this sense of feeling responsible for my own life and happiness has been a prominent feeling in my every day. 

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When I refer to being the boss of your own life, I don’t mean in a professional sense. I am my own boss and I’ve always very much felt like the boss of my own career. But in my personal life, more often than not, I feel like it’s governed by other people, other things and external factors.

I’m talking about being the boss of YOU. Not your job, not what you do every day, not how you make money (or how you want to make money). I’m talking about waking up and knowing that there is nobody else like you on this planet and for that reason, you have the right to be the boss of your own life.

So let’s look at 8 things that will help you feel like the boss of your own life. Remember, these will be a working progress and are unlikely to click into place over night. Be patient. 

Femme Luxe

Know your boundaries (and stick to them)

Boundaries are SO important. It’s vital to know where you stand on people, places, issues and causes and ultimately where you draw the line on those things. Once you’ve established your boundaries and know them like the back of your hand, you’ll be much more equipped to deal with a situation where your boundaries are likely to be crossed. Follow your gut – you know what isn’t right for you.

Understand what’s REALLY important to you

Is it a certain cause or charity? Is it family or money or travel? Whatever it is, know it and own it. We’re all different, which is beautiful. So there’s no point trying to like the same thing as everyone else just to fit in.

Dress like it

I find what I wear can really impact how I feel about myself and my life. I’m very much a trousers kinda gal and I love a tailored look. It’s no wonder than In the Frow is my favourite fashion influencer, with all the beautiful suits, blazers and trousers she wears!

I was gifted another item from Femme Luxe to feature in this post and it might be one of my favourites yet. Yes, you guessed it. Trousers. Although I love my black dresses and denim shorts, my heart will always be with a pair of smart trousers.

Femme Luxe Trousers

Femme Luxe

I chose the Tartan Print High Waisted Trousers and I absolutely love them. The only thing I will say is that they’re much more black and white in real life than in the photo on the website. The website makes them look more grey toned. So something to keep in mind in case you were after grey trousers.

The fit is great and they’re mega comfortable. These look great with heels and could be dressed up for something social or dressed more smart for something professional, so they’re really versatile which is great.

Fake it ’til you make it

We’ve all heard this phrase. Own any situation, put on a smile (or a brave face) and fake your way through anything. Nobody will know any better! It’s okay to show vulnerability though – remember you don’t have to fake everything.

Organizational skills are a must

On a more practical level, organization skills are really important because our lives are busy. We always have social events, appointments, work things, friends to meet, shopping to do – the list is endless. And nothing can make you feel less in control of your own life than being completely unorganized with your daily, weekly or monthly tasks.

Related read: 22 Ways To Organize Your Life

Do things because YOU want to (even if nobody else does)

This is something I’m tirelessly working on right now, especially after almost a decade of being so scared to do anything by myself. There’s nothing wrong or embarrassing about spending time alone; whether that’s at home or out and about. So understand the benefits of alone time and start doing the things because YOU want to. Who cares if nobody else is along for the ride?

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Don’t be afraid to seek help

Whether that’s medical help or a life coach, help is available. So use it if you need to. Nobody needs to boss their own life alone, so if we can all harness each others skills to help each other, well, there’s going to be a heck of a lot of strong boss like women in this world holding space for themselves, isn’t there? You might also find EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) helpful as well!

Hold space for yourself

Which takes me on nicely to my final point and that’s hold space for yourself. I hear this phrase a lot when I’m practicing Yoga with Yoga With Adriene. For example, in a star pose or Goddess pose, she’ll always say “take up space”. I think this is something – especially women – we’re encouraged not to do. We could be seen as bossy or loud or demanding. I call bullshit.

By this I mean express your opinion when you need to. Follow your heart and take your time on the things you love. Don’t let anyone rush you. Stick to your guns and don’t budge. Express yourself.

I’d love to hear what you do in order to feel like the boss of your own life! Do you have something specific that you do or wear? Do you need to work on any of the above points?


  1. A huge yes to this! I think that setting boundaries even if still a work in progress, was such a huge help for me! Doing things you want to and focusing on what’s more important to you are. A total must to be your own boss! I really love how the trousers and black shoes look on you!

  2. Such a great post! I think I need to practice setting boundaries for sure. Love the outfits you’ve chosen btw, they look amazing. Thank you so much for sharing Xo

    Elle –

  3. Great post! Definitely needed to read it, as I am currently feeling super overwhelmed! Need to work on a few of these things for sure. And I love those trousers!

  4. Great post! I definitely have been learning to enjoy my own company by going to concerts, theatre shows or even just taking myself out shopping for the day solo (I just need to build more confidence going for lunch by myself). Also I agree that wearing an outfit you feel great in makes us feel unstoppable- I love trousers too x

  5. Feeling like the boss of your life is such a great feeling. And these are all such great ways to achieve that. Thanks so much for sharing!

  6. Absolutely loving the look in this post, total boss vibes! And couldn’t agree more on setting boundaries, once I started to put that into practise and keep up with it, my entire outlook and mindset changed – especially once it started working.

  7. Such a WONDERFUL post! I love the last tip…It is so important to take time for yourself, doing the things you love. Life is like a pie and everyone will gladly take up all your pieces if you let them. The sad part about that, is then you will have nothing left to give. It has been said repeatedly, and it is so very true; you cannot take care of other people if your are depleted yourself. It takes incredible work and effort to use the word ‘no’ when you must, but in the end, everyone benefits. The only person in the world who knows what is right for you, is you! 🙂 (You look fabulous, by the way…simply beautiful!)

    1. Firstly, I love those trousers. The tie detail is so flattering and looks lovely on you. You’ve also included great tips in this post. I definitely try to fake it and keep a smile on my face, even when I’m nervous. It probably still shows how anxious I feel, but I like to think it makes me more approachable too.

  8. I agree, do it because you want to and if you feel amazing while kicking ass then it is just better. We always tell our students if you dress up, you feel better. if you stay the whole day in tights and t-shirt, although amazingly comfortable, it can put a damper on your mood.

  9. Love this post. I am currently trying to feel like the boss within my life. I think I need to try and fake it til I make it more. Thank you for sharing this interesting post.

  10. Navigating through your blog is easy. Published posts make sense. And the presentation is cool.

    You’re transparent with your readers regarding affiliates & brands which is essential.

    I like the idea of being the boss of your life.😎

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