By nature, I’m a very apologetic person. I tend to apologies for everything, to everyone. Even things which aren’t my fault. I also struggle with intense feelings of guilt; for saying no, for spending time doing X instead of Y – basically I feel guilty for existing half of the time. So in an industry that’s so bound to doing the “right thing”, how do you stop apologizing profusely 24/7?
I wrote this piece a while back about how I feel guilty about my job. As I said, it’s in my nature to feel guilt and want to please, so being in this industry can be difficult on that aspect of your mental well-being. I’ve had to dig deep into my personal growth and self care to understand why I feel like this and how I can stop it.
But I’m certainly not the only blogger that apologizes for things they don’t need to. I often see people on social media apologizing for a number of things I’ve listed below and inside, I always end up aching and telepathically shouting, “YOU DON’T NEED TO APOLOIZE FOR THAT!” to them.
So yes, you could call me a bit of a hypocrite here, identifying a ton of things you don’t need to apologize for, yet continuing to apologize like my life depends on it myself. But knowing what you DON’T need to apologize for and actually putting it into practice are two very different things.
There’s a lot of deeper layers as to why we feel the need to apologize for things – things that more often than not, we don’t need to apologize for. Which I’m not qualified to get into – I’m not a therapist. But recognizing the things and realizing that, “hey… why am I saying sorry for THAT?” it definitely a good first step.
Here are 12 things that bloggers definitely don’t need to apologize for:
Taking a break or some time out
This is probably one of the most common reasons I see bloggers apologizing and it’s SO unnecessary. Taking a break for whatever reason; a lifestyle change, a new job, a mental health break, it really doesn’t matter nor does it need an apology. Blogging isn’t the be-all and end-all of life. Even if you are a full-time blogger.
Not replying to people straight away
Hehe, this is the point that prompted this post because this happened to me a couple of months ago. I tweeted about how I had had my best ever day for blog views and someone replied to that tweet twice in the space of 20 minutes then started “calling me out” for being fake because I hadn’t replied to her. It as hilarious.
Posting lots of AD’s and sponsored content
Working with brands is a GREAT part of blogging. A necessary part of blogging for a lot of full-timers like me but also a great extra bonus for those blogging part-time or as a hobby. There’s absolutely NO SHAME in posting a lot of AD’s or sponsored content; I know some people are funny about it but I see that as their problem, not yours.
Related resource: A Beginners Guide To Pitching to Brands
Receiving PR items in the mail
Similarly to above, if you get sent a lot of gifted items (either in exchange for content or not) there’s nothing wrong with that. Some people might be jealous or simply not understand the relationship between brands and bloggers and how PR items work in this regard.
Publishing something later than planned
Another one I see a lot and that’s when someone doesn’t publish something when they said they would. I actually apologized for this quite a bit in my newsletter; I try to get my weekly wrap-ups out on Friday but more often than not, I forget and it goes out on Saturday instead. I’ve stopped apologizing now because hey! No one cares.
Or not publishing something at all
And again similarly to above, if you don’t publish something you said you were going to for ANY reason, whether that’s because of a family incident or bad mental health or simply because you’ve been lazy and you can’t be arsed, IT DOESN’T MATTER.
You don’t always have to SEO optimize every blog post you write. You don’t need to only post blogging or branded content on your Instagram. You don’t only need to post promotional tweets. If you want to, that’s fine. But if you want to get personal on your socials, on your blog, online – then go for it. You don’t need to explain yourself or apologize about it.
Your opinion on a brand or product
If it’s an honest opinion then you’re within your right to have and post that opinion. You don’t need to apologize for it to your readers or to the brand itself. I feel like you do need to be sensitive in how you express your opinion but at the end of the day, it’s your opinion.
Wanting to make money blogging
A lot of bloggers want to make money blogging. A lot of bloggers start blogging for the purpose of making money somewhere down the line. And there’s nothing! wrong! with! that! There really isn’t. As long as you love what you’re doing, that’s all that matters. Go get that coin, gal.
- 8 Ways I Make Money Blogging and Online
- How To Make Money With a Blog for Beginners
- Where To Find Blogging Opportunities
Un-following or muting people
I don’t need to explain this one. In order to use social media in a healthy way, chances are you’re going to need to mute and block a few people along the way. You don’t need to explain. You don’t need to apologize.
Venturing into a new niche or path
If you feel like it’s the right time for you and your blog to branch out, perhaps introduce a new niche onto your site (or change niche completely!), start something new, let go of a project or something else, then that’s amazing and you should absolutely listen to your inner voice when it comes to making those decisions.
Speaking out against things you believe in
I’ve seen a lot of *bigger* influencers come under fire for not expressing their opinion when there’s some political or economical crisis in the world. I’ve also seen them come under fire FOR expressing their opinion and speaking out against things. It seems like you can’t win either way. You don’t need to apologize for going off-piste and sharing relevant and helpful news.
If you’re ever in a position where you feel like you might want to apologize for something as a blogger, I hope you refer back to this post. We all know instinctively when we’ve done something wrong and NEED to apologize but in a lot of instances, it’ll be your own mind tricking you into thinking you’re to blame.
Oh yes I wholeheartedly agree with this post, although I’m not good at putting things into practice.
I’m good at putting unwanted pressure on myself which stopped me from enjoying blogging at some point last year, but now I have a different attitude to it.
That’s great to hear that you acknowledges that and was able to change that attitude 🙂
Thank you so much for this post. I believe everyone of us (bloggers) need to see this. There are so many times I rewrite something because I don’t want to have to apologize for my opinion. Everytime I do this, it comes out in a way that is not me. I’m going to try and get over this and also not apologize when someone doesn’t like what I have written. Thank you so much! I really needed to hear this.
I’m so glad you found this useful. Hopefully you can implement some of your own advice here!
Thanks for sharing, I have had a lot of these from the last year from changing niche to taking breaks to focus on my other work load, I don’t feel sorry for that, or for having writers block, as I can’t think of anything to write about 🙂
If you can’t think of anything you can’t think of anything – nothing to be sorry for, it just is!
While I would love to make blogging my full time job, I just really enjoy writing personal non-seo friendly posts. I always used to apologize whenever I skipped a day or week or month, but now I’ve come to realize that if i’m burnt out and am forcing things, it’s usually when my worst work comes from it.
Yes absolutely! I’m so glad you came to that realization 🙂 x
I LOVE this post and I agree it is unneccessary to apologize for taking a break or even just being away for the weekend. We all have lives outside of blogging so I don’t expect everyone to be active 24/7. I remember the lady calling you out…the whole situation was ridiculous!
I also agree there’s no shame with wanting to make money through blogging and posting ads!
Haha it was ridiculous wasn’t it!
Excellent post! So many good ideas here! 🙂 Blogging should be something we enjoy doing!
Thank you 🙂 Absolutely!
Totally agree with all of these! The replying right away is one that I struggle with. I get that notification and I think it has to be answered right away. Loved this post so much!
I do prefer to answer right away because I don’t want to forget about it but it’s totally unrealistic to expect replies instantly!
Fellow apologiser here! Everything you say in this post is so right, I wish I’d seen it sooner! I do try not to apologise per se, but I feel sometimes I come across as not fully committing to some things which feels like an apology in itself, like using “I’m saying this but please I hope it’s ok and I don’t annoy people with my existence” tone of voice. Working on it though! Great post!
Ah no! It’s so hard to articulate things sometimes though!
I am an apologetic person by nature too so I totally resonate with this. This is such a great list of things that we should not apologize for as bloggers! Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you 🙂 x
I definitely use to feel guilty about taking breaks or not posting sometime I said I would, but lately I realized I didn’t need to, because blogging is something I do for fun. Being personal and speaking out are two of the reason I blog, so I hate that some feel bad about it, and nothing on this list should make anyone feel bad.
Yes totally agree 🙂
Very interesting post! I also have apologised and probably still do a lot. But I am definitely getting better at taking time away when I need to not saying anything when I miss my posting date and just accepting that I am human and I don’t need to stick to a certain standard but rather do what I need to do and fit things around my schedule. Loved reading this thank you for sharing x
I have started speaking up and out more, as I have realized denying who I am in order to better please society is detrimental to myself. I love sharing my opinions and thoughts on current topics now, and enjoy formulating a well thought-out piece to share. No apology offered or needed!
So glad to hear that!
I don’t know why this made me feel so relieved but it did and I am grateful. Sometimes the hustle of it all can weigh you down and discourage you. This was a nice reminder to be gentle with yourself and not feel bad about missing a step on the blogging journey
Ah I’m so glad it made you feel that way!
I nodded very profusely during this whole post Jenny! I couldn’t agree more with these points, as a blogger, I’ve apologised for some of these things in the past, I definitely don’t anymore! I hope other blogger’s learn to not apologise for these things in the future too! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Glad you agree with these!
I am with you on every single one of those and it always baffles me why people apologise for not posting on Instagram…..
I know right!
These are such great points. I’ve definitely noticed that people seem to dislike sponsored posts, but it takes a lot of time and work to create a blog post, so there’s nothing wrong with getting paid for it. Plus, what a lot of people don’t realize is that even if a blog post is “sponsored,” you’re typically writing about a related topic. The content is still relevant to readers.
Yes absolutely. I’ve been lucky in my experience with sponsored content and brand collaborations with my readers but sometimes I do find they have less engagement / views than other posts. I still wouldn’t ever apologise for posting them though!
I completely agree with these. At the end of the day you have to do what is right for you.
I think it was Churchill (the PM, not the insurance dog) that said “Never apologise. Never explain.”
Hahaha 🤣 great quote!
You stated facts after facts and I like that. Taking a time off is okay and working with brands is even better. I mean some bloggers blog full-time and have bills to pay at the end of the day. I really enjoyed reading this post.
I blog full time 🙂 all my income comes from brand collaborations so I’m sure as heck not going to apologise for them!
I remember that deranged Tweeter from a few months ago…Glad she was a source of inspiration for you, Jenny! Seriously, there’s so much to love in this post though. Posting a lot of sponsored content (and why shouldn’t we be paid to write well researched quality content?), taking time out (we have personal lives too), and speaking out. The latter in particular resonates strongly with me as I’m retweeting a LOT of Ukraine-related content right now. If people don’t like it, that’s their problem, not mine. My feed, my rules. Same goes for blogging. Love this post, you are such an inspiration to so many of us xxx
Hahaha she was a laugh wasn’t she 😂 Yes I totally agree with everything you’ve said! Definitely their problem; I retweet a lot of things too when there’s some thing that’s more important than blogging and if people don’t like that then literally whatever, they can unfollow me x
This is really important to discuss this. Thanks for sharing this.
I think it’s human nature to be apologetic, but it doesn’t mean it’s right, you are correct there is such a lot we shouldn’t apologize for as bloggers are human too, with lives and health issues perhaps. Loved this post x
Thank you 🙂
I totally agree with this list. Especially replying right away. Because we are busy and don’t have time to reply right away. Can’t apologize for smething we didn’t wrong.
Yes absolutely I don’t understand how people expect a reply straight away
Omg yes! I felt myself nodding along to ALL of this. Apologising when you don’t owe anybody anything is such a bug bearer of mine. I’m glad you mentioned about the standing up or not for political / topical instances. I often find you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Oh totally, it really is, you can’t win. Just gotta do what’s right for you x